I'm fed up with my life

I mean it seriously. My life's like a piece of junk, haven been in the mood of late to blog anything. I even thought of closing my blog down for good. Is it one of my another but many mood swings? I don't know seriously.

I've been clubbing non stop for the past 4 days in a row......butter factory on wed, mos on thurs, zouk on friday and mos again on saturday. So much alcohol, so much unhealty stuffs that I woke up on Saturday morning with a heavy fever and terrible sore throat. Nevertheless I still went to drink somemore on Saturday and made merry out there.

Such a lifestyle is really unhealthy, money wasting and a casts a bad impression on others. I'm well aware of it. But I still choosed to live it this way. If i'm lonely, i know i wont be anymore once i step into a club. Strangers will automatically become my friends - even if its just for one night. If i seek a quick thrill, i know i could just as easily get it. If i'm feeling upset, i know tequila and chivas are there to bandish all those thoughts or feelings away - even if its just for a night.

That was one unhealthy, chaotic and rendevous week.

For now, I'm going away. Whether or not I blog another single entry wouldn't matter to most people. I'm fed up with life, fed up with the people around me, fed up with how things are turning out, fed up with everything!

Am I or am I not?

Those who know me, will you people please tell me.....

Am I the rude and ungentleman kind of person??

Do I seem like the kind who wants attention all the time and only want people listening to me talking and always interrupting them??

I would like to hear ur honest opinions.

This thing is bothering me a great deal.

Total Crap...

Why does it hurts so much everytime we lose to manure? I can't bear to watch on after rio cockhead made it 2-0. This is shit, this is like a knife piercing through my heart.

I hate to say this, but our title challenge is over. 11 points behind manure and chelski and its only october. It will take a miracle to win the title. We played rubbish today.

Sometimes I wish they could talk lesser and let the football do the talking. Why talk about scoring winners or winning this and that and then come out and lose like fuck?

How disgraceful, this isn't just any match, this is manure vs liverpool, watched by nearly 1 billion fans worldwide, the biggest match in club football for christ's sake. Fuck

Fuck!

11 Months and 3 previous attempts later...



...I finally got it perfectly right at my 4th attempt! I have to believe I was the happiest person on earth for afew minutes this afternoon. I'm just overjoyed that I've finally got my bloody fucking lisence after 3 previous disappointments!

To think I was even contemplating changing the test date today to Monday as my finger was still bandaged up and quite painful. Eventually I decided that 18 might be my lucky date afterall (my enlistment date was 18 also). How glad I was that I didn't change the test date!

Initially everything went horribly wrong, I arrived very late for my warm up, about 30minutes to be exact. Got a hearful from the instructor for being so late and irresponsible. Made alot of mistakes during the warm up as well as I wasn't fully prepared or mentally ready. My mind seem to be at sea. The instructor must be thinking.."This one sure fail one". Can roughly tell from the way he keep shaking his head. Demoralising!

Then came the drawing of test routes and testers. My luck changed, I drew the only indian tester I wanted, Mr Silva. I don't know him, but I've always feel that he's a nice guy compared to some chinese testers whose face are black like 'Justice Bao'. I was the last one out of that freezing room and it didn't help that I wore shorts and slippers!

The first thing Mr Silva asked me was, what happened to ur hand. Can u drive in this state? I assured him I can but maybe I will be slower when parking. He said ok and told me to relax myself seeing my tensed face. His assuring words certainly helped. I got more relaxed as I completed the entire circuit without any single mistakes.

Then came the main road outside where the real test is usually conducted. My route was fairy difficult as there were alot of junctions, and busy roads. For the 1st time, I didn't bother to look at him marking my paper. I just concentrate on driving and it certainly helped that he didn't gave me that kind of stuck up face that previous testers did. At the last junction turn, I was very confident I'd make it. But bearing in mind that during my 2nd attempt I felt the same way only to experience terrible disappointments later on, I tried not to be over confident.

Soon before I know it, I was back in the room at the centre. The smile on his face when we sat down was very scary. It could either be he's smiling because I passed or he's smiling because I failed. The first thing I said to him was "I failed right?"

He said relax, let me explain to u your mistakes first. MistakeS! Dang the word totally pierced through my heart. Nevertheless I was still quite sure I passed. I was right, I only made a mistake in not checking for safety at one particular junction! I was shocked when he wrote down 2 and ticked the passed box. He even gave me a smile and wink before he ticked that box that I'd waited 11 months for!

I went speechless and stared at him for afew seconds before he offered his hands to congratulate me. I jumped up and shake his hands afew times, thank him, hug him and rush out of the room smiling like an idiot! I immediately texted Jean over at Australia to tell her about the news! Till now, the feeling hasn't really sunk in yet. But for once, the journey home was like walking on clouds in heaven. So joyful and so satisfying! And now I can concentrate on buying a 2nd wife!

I may be slower and took more time, efforts and money but I still made it at the end of the day! That's me I guess, I'm always slower but I always succeed eventually! How sweet life is suddenly!




Goodbye bbdc! Adios!

A month of rehabilitation

The good news I got today was that my finger's healing according to plan and the x-ray showed that the bone is back into position. The bad news is I would have to go through another 3 weeks of rehabilitation and come back for follow ups every week.



When I went into the surgery room, I thought they would probably just inject some painkillers and just pull out the metal bars with bare hands. How wrong was I when the doctor took out a brand new pair of PLIERS and place it on the table! Wah lan, u can be sure my eye balls nearly pop out at the sight of that frightening pair of pliers!





Anyway I've learnt my lesson from the previous experience, so this time I request for just 2 jabs of painkillers instead of 6 or 8. I didn't want to feel numb like shit was my reason. So the doctor jab me twice on the finger. I could feel my flesh tearing as he pull the jabs in and then out. Blood soon started to flow and within 5mins my finger was like some frozen ice or robotic material.

Next he asked if I wanna see the whole process or I choose to have my eyes covered up with some goggles. I choosed to view the whole processs. First he pulled my finger, trying to straighten it abit more before cutting the sides with some sharp equipment or whatever u call it. I could see blood flowing out like nothing. I felt a deep pain. Then before I knew it, he placed the pliers on one of the bars and pull it out. More blood came flowing out. The other bar was also pulled out in no time.

I tried to bear with the pain and try snapping the process but the nurse stopped me. Damn! So thats it, 2 big holes on both my finger and there was the stitching up. My whole finger felt like a some dead person's finger even though I've never touched one before. The skin is so raw and rough plus the feeling inside is so 'frozen' and numb. Nevertheless I'm glad I don't have any metals in my fingers anymore, it certainly feels alot more comfortable even though its still painful now and then.





I think its been like 8 weeks since I touched chicken meat or good food. Couldn't resist it any longer so headed to Ikea with my dad and had an extremely stomach filling lunch there. There's chicken of course! Heh!

If life's like a shopper....

....In a busy shopping mall, which type would you want to be?



The window shopper who's very conscious of what he spends or buy?

How about the crazy shopper who can't stop indulging in every spree that's going on?

Or the type who is there with a clear idea of what he wants to buy, where to get it and goes home immediately after buying?

Maybe those who have to check every single price tag and compare everything?

Or perhaps those who are seen scrambling madly for discounted items in some end of season 70% off sales?

Question marks linger on and on..........

We brought the house down!



Tertiary Fling party at MOS yesterday was real hot! The damn long queue itself reminds me of X'Mas or new year eve festive periods and I think the club was near full if not full. Thankfully I was under the guestlist and avoided the crazy queue!

The peeps from whoisgoing.sg were pretty much sociable and cool as well. Mingle with them for quite awhile in sky longue and other VIP rooms and made quite afew new friends. After which I went back to join Carol Jane Hakim and others downstairs to get wasted. Talk about wasted, this funny ass Carol try to be too clever and drink too much and end up throwing up in the toilet! But that didn't spoilt the fun as everyone was like so damn high and Hakim end up going over to my place as he was like too high to go home haha.

Its' definitely a really HOT and INTERESTING party! Cheers to more of these! winks!

I'm still waiting for the photos that the photograpghers snapped for us!

Uhhhh!

This Alvin aka patrick the starfish in spoongebob is so damn 'chek ark'! Trying to be too funny!




How can a person with hands wrapped up probably go swimming or touch water! Arghhh trying to drive me mad.

I'm already mad enough today actually, with all the fuck up replies I got from people on msn. I guess I've already posted an entry before about this shit but can't help ranting it.

I hate one word replies!!!!!

Yeah i know its not possible to type long sentences all the time. But its very obvious that the person do not wish to talk to u or probably feels ur some boring fuck up shit that he/she take minutes to reply and the replies are like 'hahaha', 'ohh ok', 'hehehe'. What the hell. Just tell me straight ur busy at least it saves me from staring at the screen waiting for ur fucking reply. Yeah I know nobody asked me to stare at the screen or wait but if ur the one who initate the chat then better be more responsible about it yeah?

I'm not excatly a boring person its always the replies that turns me off and spoil my moods. I'm gonna start clearing up my msn list again soon.

Hooking Pinkies

Do u know why people hook or join their pinkies when making a promise?

Once upon a time, in a huge vast country, there was a princess who was very very beautiful. Because the princess was so pretty and wise, princes came from all over the world came to seek her hand.

Finally, five princes were left in the final round. In order to choose the best match for her, she gave them a test. She hid her right hand and unfolded one finger. The 5 princes had to guess which one it was.

The first prince showed her his thumb.
The 2nd prince showed her his index finger.
The 3rd prince showed her his middle finger.
He received a tight slap for that.
The 4th prince showed her his 4th finger.
He fainted soon due to overstretching his finger.
The 5th prince showed her his pinky.
The princess's eyes bleamed.

So that is how the sign of hooking pinkies came to represent a vow of marriage and promise. The prince and princess couldnt have been happier. But then the Crusades began, and the prince had to go to war.

The prince promised to come back alive, crossing his pinky with her. But 1 year passed and the prince didn't return. She didn't even know if he was still alive. But since the princess was still so pretty, many people came to ask her to re-marry. She kept saying no, believing that he'd return.

One day, she couldnt turn them down any longer. So she decided to marry a man who will join/hook pinkies with her. She wanted to find the right man. Many tried but none convinced her that he's the one.

One day, a filthy beggar came to the palace. Everyone tried to get rid of him but the princess called him in, saying everyone deserves a chance. The beggar turned out to be her lost prince. The princess was overjoyed, she spent the whole night in the arms of her prince.

The next morning, the prince was nowwhere to be found. The truth was, the prince had been killed on his way home.The soul of the dead must depart after 49 days.That was the 49th day.

In order to keep his promise, the prince returned as a ghost. Finally the princess found the body of the prince. She was devasted. Then she drank a cup of poisoned wine and hook her pinky onto his. She fell into deep sleep ever after beside the body of the man she'd ever loved.

Make no promises if u can't deliever.

Say what u want, a promise is meant to be kept...

The damn letter came!

Found a big green enevelop/letter on my desk when I stumbled home last night after another night of boozing. The minute I saw the 'Mindef' on the envelope I knew it's gonna be that bloody fucking long awaited ns enlistment letter. I was right!

Haha so government finally remembered me uh!





By rights no guys fancy this letter. They dread it, dread shaving their heads, dread having to do tough work, dread having to waste 2 1/2 fucking years serving the nation or whatever. But funnily enough I'm excited and happy.

Reason - Every guy also have to do no matter what so might away well get it outta the way 1st so that I can concentrate on building my career and family after ns right?

I know most of my guy friends especially the fat brothers alvin and kelvin cant wait to see me suffering inside there! And girls will tend to find me wierd, so excited about going army....u siao uhh!

rachel will you stand by me, hold on and never let me go says :
haha u're really the first guy i noe who's so excited to go army like a kid going for camps

-=[Alv™]=- :) ぼくはアルビンです.©®™ says :
song bo..
-=[Alv™]=- :) ぼくはアルビンです.©®™ says :
i wan to see u bloody BOTAK !!!

Freaks!

At least now that I know the exact date (dec 18), I have like 2 months to sort my stuffs out and able to plan things rather than being uncertain about everything.

I learnt an important lesson yesterday....

- Always keep spare pairs of contact lenses at home!
I lost one of my lenses and all the shops I went to didn't sell any ready-made ones. So I went out with only 'one eye'


The waiter who had nothing better to do came over and arrange my table so nicely......lol

The missing sparkles

These days, I feel as though as my life's really listless to begin with. I feel as though as there are sparks missing from it. Maybe its a side effect as a result of being stuck at home more often than I would have liked.

Bit by bit, my life is slowly becoming disillusioned. Bit by bit, the colors are fading. Soon it would be colorless - black and white.

Every morning I opened up my eyes, I wished I had something to look forward to. Be it going to school or work, having to complete an assignment or report, having a date or activity, they all suits me fine. Now I realized how restless my brains could be. How much I miss school and work now.

I feel I'm missing the sparkles that a relationship could bring as well. The excitement of knowing that almost everyday there's something to look forward to, can be really joyous at times. More importantly, the feeling of being loved by someone u love is second to none. I've been single for months ever since Joreen broke off with me and much as I enjoy the fruits of singlehood I've to admit I'm more than missing the sparkles of a relationship. I'd gradually scarifice these 'fruits' for love.

Why is my life getting so dull uh, seeing others' blog filled with pictures and entries about times spent with their friends or loved ones makes me green with envy sometimes. I've got to spice it up somehow, this can't be going on.

The real me

I'm going to do something very 'bo liao' to get myself sleepy tonight! The questions are adopted from tickle.com tests/quizes.

Your view on yourself:
I'm wierd, both an introvert and extrovert. Mango on form is sweet, gentle, caring, humourous, generous, romantic, intelligent, and full of charisma. Mango off form is gonna be sulky, moody, temperamental, unreasonablem, petty, easily jealous, rash, and vicious.
Which do u prefer? Aww

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
Personality - Understanding, romantic, sweet, kind, know when to say no and not too submissive.
Looks - Not some tall freaks please. Not some plump ones either. They just don't match me. Some sweet looking girl with long hair and able to carry herself well. Good dressing sense is a MUST!.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
I'm ready to commit when I meet the right person. I'm more than willing to scarifice to meet the committments if she's worth it.

The seriousness of your love:
I'm those who place love on top of my priority list ahead of family, career, friends and money. That speaks volumes, doesnt it?

The right job for you:
Designer, physchologist, writer, director......actually being my own boss tops it all!

How do you view success:
Very important. I take setbacks very seriously and blame myself most of the time. But I know when to move on. Success only comes when one has overcome a setback. I can't tolerate being a failure, being successful means alot to me.

What are you most afraid of:
Failure. Doesn't matter in what aspect. Any form of failure is a dreadful experience.

The real you:
I've got the charms and the personality to charm both guys and girls. I will be the first to admit that. I'm not necessary a very extremely good looking person but somehow there's something that's attractive about me isn't it?

I'm sensitive to small details and I'm a 'feelings' and 'moods' person. I go with my heart more often than my head. So I tend to be more of a giver than a taker. My moods swings more often than a girl's.

I'm sincere about friendships but I also know which are the ones that I should close and eye to and which are those that I can treasure and depend on. More than often I find it hard to say "No" to my friends.

Emotions sway often inside me. Maybe its the result of being a sentimental character.

My peers probably think of me as wierd and to some, fierce and unapproachable. I am initally but know me well and I'm not unapproachable at all.

.......ahh im tired and ready for bed now! rofl :D

A sympathetic query

Sometimes....just why do people seem to enjoy being the 'victim' in every unfortunate or ill-fated siutations?

Issit because of the amount of attention they hopen to receive?

Issit because they want the sympathy they know they will receive?

I think my conjectures do have a point. In a break up, there will almost certainly be one party who whines and moans about how fucking hurt he/she is, how badly treated he/she is and lots of other 'tales'. Naturally his/her friends will put a warm arm around his/her shoulders right? There will be lots of comforting words, people will try to make him/her happier and so on.

There's no wrong sometimes in these whinning but sometimes people just go abit too far with their senseless whinnings. Ever met people who whines about almost the same issue time and time again?

How miserable they are.....
How hurt they are.....
How bad this or that person is.....
How depressed they are.....

Crap man, its fucking obvious they seek attention and expect people to think they are so poor and pathetic that people start to believe they are right all the times.

I do whine myself sometimes but never about the same issues or seek any attention. In fact I prefer to be left alone to sort myself out and stand up on my feets again.

Human nature I guess, oh well anyway I got bored and chanced upon this celebrity stuff which I think I did before. Having said so, a bored person is still capable of anything....so there we go....



I always get girl matches. Seem like if I was borned a woman I would have been a real hottie....lol

Unwanted Attention

I didn't know guys could get the hots about me and I'd certainly have no lack of suitors if I'm a gay but unfortunately thats not the case. Aww everyone who knows me knows very well I prefer boobs and pussy over dicks and assholes. But this is a very special discovery I've made about my sexuality over the past few weeks, that I do like guys afterall.

Ok before u go "eeeeeeekkkkkkk", allow me to explain I'm by not means a gay. I wouldn't go to the extend of bedding a guy, I still find that disgusting. So what does this classified me as? A bisexual? Maybe, but definitelty not 100%. Being friends is fine, anything beyond that isn't - that sums it all up. I love girls definitely, not guys!! Haha!

Unfortunately some people don't seem to get it. I checked my fridae account after being inactive for like months and suddenly I got bombarded by all sorts of emails or messages. There are those plain ordinary ones like "hi can we be friend, ur cute I really like ur pic" to those more daring ones like sex.





For Christ's sake that mail was the most disgusting one I've ever read! I got so many mails and messages that I don't even bother to read them unless its from girls or out of curiousity. Please god I don't want a more disgusting one in future. I admit the site is something of a friendster for the gay and lesbian community and I joined it out of curiousity few months back but my profile is very clear - STRAIGHT MALE seeking FEMALE!

Blah!

Whats with people these days uh? Can't read or simply blinded by pictures? And I certainly do not even wish to know how big his fucking dick is and what the fuck is sock fettish?! Totally amusing.

Oh well anyway I had a great time at MOS last night, met afew new friends and it was one of those Saturdays where everything is great. Chatted and drank with some Japanese until the dawn like 7am. Got home at 9am and had soccer right up to 3pm without sleeping. I really ran myself to the ground! I felt like throwing up during the game with all the martel, chivas, coronas, tequila pops and beers seemily undigested in my tummy!

Anyway my Dad have been buying mooncakes back these days but nothing beats this box of real durian mooncakes from 'Goodwood Park Hotel'. Man durian is my favourite fruit and imagine a mooncake with REAL durian flesh inside. Wow tastes so heavenly that I ate up an entire piece without cutting it into smaller pieces!