Friday, March 31, 2006
An open world

I wonder what kind of world it will be out there if everyone of us is honest and straightforward in our words and actions. I wonder why do humans love to shun away from reality. How long can we actually hide and run? How long are we gonna continue the silence?

Silence can be so infuriating sometimes. It simply keep our minds guessing what the other person is thinking about. All sorts of thoughts are bound to run wild like fire in our minds. Why then do humans love to keep silent? Why can't they simply say out whatever they're feeling? Is it because they're scared of reality? Is it because they're simply insecure? Or is it because they don't know how to say it out?

Although silence is golden, we might not realized how much confusion it can cause. It's certainly no fun guessing. Its like working for someone without knowing how much u're gonna get paid for your services.

Being kept guessing can really drive me nuts sometimes. I simply hate and i mean i really hate being made to guess sometimes. I hate having to go through all the possibilities running in my mind. I know sometimes and some things are meant to be kept mum but i do feel that most times, there should be nothing to hide between 2 person. Unless the word 'sharing' doesn't even exists i see no reason why 2 people can't share everything the feel or have in mind.

Why keep the silence? There are times we feel it's better not to say certain things but then there are also times we regret not saying certain things. We just can't be sure of anything, we just can't be sure of what kind of responses or reactions we gonna get from saying something. So why not simply say it out?

I've always wanted to be able to share everything i have or feel with someone and hope that someone would do the same back as well. I'm a firm believer of a couple sharing everything they have and barely have anything to hide.

Anyway tonight's my first real test, to be able to resist any urges of cigarettes while chilling out. Its just one small tiny step but then everything has to have a beginning doesn't it? The road to quittinng it completely starts from this tiny step.

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posted by mango at 4:37 PM 0 Bitchings
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
What goes around comes around

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer.One day,while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog.

He dropped his tools and ran to the bog. There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death. The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved.

"I want to repay you," said the nobleman.

"You saved my son's life." "No, I can't accept payment for what I did," the Scottish farmer replied, waving off the offer.

At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel. "Is that your son?" the nobleman asked. "Yes," the farmer replied proudly. "I'll make you a deal. Let me take him and give him a good education. If the lad is anything like his father, he'll grow to a man you can be proud of.

"And that he did. In time, Farmer Fleming's son graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin. Years afterward, the nobleman's son was stricken with pneumonia. What saved him? Penicillin. The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill. His son's name? Sir Winston Churchill.

Someone once said: What goes around comes around. Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching.


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posted by mango at 6:20 PM 0 Bitchings
Sunday, March 26, 2006
I'm on cloud 9!


I admit yesterday afternoon i wasn't feeling that good, i had questions in my mind and feel abit miserable. But it all ended really well, totally unexpected and left me on cloud 9!

I fixed and cooked dinner for her yesterday as my form of apology for being late and making a mess of things during the prom night. My cooking skills sucks, i was worried she might find the spaghetti and soup horrible. But thankfully she said they are not that bad and finished them all.

Then we headed to JP to watch DORM, it wasn't that scary but beside me was a fat girl who keep covering her face with her hands like some 3yr old kid. Wah lao i feel disgusted sitting beside her and yet Joreen can still make fun of me, asking me to hug her! What the heck?! Thankfully the show has an ending and plot if not the 9.50 will be a waste of money.

After the show, she got a last minute invitation from her buddy qiu xia to club @ MOS. Funnily enough qiu xia was someone i known for donkey years dated back to secondary school days. She asked if i wanna go and needless to say i went even though i was freaking tired. U know suddenly i din't feel that tired anymore. We went back to my place to get changed before heading to her place to put her things and for her to change.

The night at MOS was the most memorable one so far, many times i wished and i think she wished too, that time would just stop there for us to be together. I cherished every bit of it, i wished the clock could tickle away slowly. It was so wonderful out there with her, even though i was damn tired, her presence seem to kill off all the tiredness i felt.

We went for supper at the chesse prata shop at pasir panjang after that. By then, things had changed quite alot, the communication, our feelings and i could see it too from her that she was able to look into my eyes more often than before. I felt so happy i din't wanted to go home. While on the road back, i felt sad having to end the night there. I felt sian having to go home. I din't wanted to part, i wanted to her held the hands which meant so much to me, even if we'd just sit under the stars and glance at each other doing nothing else i'd be contended enough.

When she left and i was walking to my block, i suddenly felt so happy and crazy that i took off my shirt, threw into the air and kept jumping and saying 'oh yeah!' to myself! I think anyone who saw me would think i've just escaped from 'hougang chalet'! I don't care either, i was so happy and excited!

Its just so wonderful to have someone u treasure so much feeling the same about u....thats the best thing that could ever happen for now. I miss yesterday so much but i wish tomorrow would be even better!


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the spaghetti i made....lousy =(

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wrong toilet ladies

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happily together

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im forced to pose with this -_-

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big girl liao still wanna ride!

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why din't time stop? the moment of me and u.....
posted by mango at 5:05 PM 0 Bitchings
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Question Marks

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posted by mango at 1:04 PM 0 Bitchings
Friday, March 24, 2006
Done with exams!

Got my results this morning and unexpectly i passed the damn system security module which i knew was the one which was most likley to fail. What was more surprising was that i score D+ instead of D for the module which means i must have scored extremely well during the final exams because i needed at least B+ to pass overall. Although the results were average, C C D D+, I'm satisfied. So hurray, i'm done with lectures, tutorials, praticals and exams! No more of these!
posted by mango at 9:24 AM 0 Bitchings
ICT Prom Night 06


Pictures taken that night, happy viewing.

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Mr Melvin Tan and us, one of our favourite tutors

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Our mentor Mrs Loy and us

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my cinderella

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elmo & xiao pei... wooo

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Prom queen Jeslin and Kylie

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Men with an attitude

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strongman

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chinwai & me

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precious moments

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chilled mango pudding

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classmates!

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prom king and me....eh why is my tie so long!?

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Kylie & me

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Joey & me

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Ladies

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All together

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The host of the night, hossan leong

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love this pic....!

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inside the tunnel of MOS

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thats wat girls nv fail to do when they go MOS...take pics -_-
posted by mango at 8:06 AM 0 Bitchings
Thursday, March 23, 2006
That sinking feeling

I will upload the pictures of the prom night in my next entry, I'm just too tired to do anything now. I realized i took a pathetic amount of pictures that night as well as compared to usual where i would take something like over 200 or 300 pictures on such an occasion.

Everything went downhill the after i borrowed my blazer at orchard. It was 5.25, i had about 30 minutes to get my ass down to batok to fetch her. I fucking hate breaking a promise, i fucking it hate it! So when i look at my watch and it was 5.40 and i was still stucked in the traffic jam, i started to panic. I was helpless too i realized, i can't probably abandon the car there and take a train there. I started weaving in and out, squeezing into every empty space that i could find on the road. No avail, but the worse was next to come.

In a state of desperation to get there, i took an alternative road. Trust me to be too clever when i'm such a newbie with roads. I ended up at god knows where.....owen road?....kallang street? geylang lorong? Left with little choice, i asked if she could take a cab down and meet me at the hotel lobby instead. She did but in one sms she asked if she could stay at home instead because its raining? I think its a joke but at that point of time, in my anxious and desperate self, i din't see it as one, i immediately replied saying i'd go and get her and i started speeding around finding an expressway. Got onto AYE heading towards west finally but she's already on the cab.

We agree to meet at the hotel enterance finally. I sped as fast as i could, never mind that the traffic was fucking heavy at times. But what i din't realized was that when i exited from AYE and made a U-Turn, the CTE tunnel at merchant road was like HELL. The traffic slow to a snail's movement. Worst still i was stuck behind 2 bloody big trucks. SMS of all sorts were flying in fast that i had to drive with my legs and type with my hands. It was 7 by then and she'd already reached and all my friends are waiting for me too. Desperation incur deeper into me.

Finally i got out of the fucking CTE shit but now i couldn't find the little 'wulu' road leading to swiss hotel. I drove around in circles like a mad man, horning to vehicles nearby to ask for help. Everyone kept giving me different instructions, so different that i got fed up and decided to park in funan mall and took a cab there. The fucking carpark was full so when i saw a little empty space in one corner i just rush in and park without realizing it was an illegal parking slot. Got a warning letter for that...damn!

Taxi stand was filled with afew people, there wasn't a single taxi in sight and i had to pled and explain my siutation to the amused strangers who were kind enough to let me jump the queue to take the next cab that came. They were really nice and one of them even told me to relax and wish me good luck.

When i board the cab i realized how near i was to the hotel, it was just a tiny side road which i fail to spot. I'm dumb, really.

I saw her sitting on the bench in front of the hotel enterance waiting for me. I felt so relieved to have finally reached but deep inside i felt stupid and upset. I managed to mutter out the word 'sorry', she replied with a smile - a fake one i suspect. Afterall i am such an idiot to make a girl come down all the way in the rain and wait like an hour for me. I was really at a loss of words because no words could explain my fault. I felt like banging into the wall and die straight away at that moment. Even though she was beside me i felt she was like 1 million miles away from me.

Met up with the rest and while in the toilet trying to freshen up, i realized i wasn't looking good. Everyone was trying to look their elegant and gentlemanly best that night but i think i look like shite. I din't concentrate on the prom at all, i put up a fake front. While everyone was busy socializing around and taking pictures especially, i was in a mono-tune mode. I just stare at the stage like what everyone else was doing but my mind wasn't on the things that were going on at the stage, i was thinking of everything that happened in the last 2-3 hours. Miserable.

It din't help that i look around the table and everyone was like smiling and talking to each other and yet she was like more interested in what's going on at the stage. I felt inferior to everyone suddenly, but i know it was also my fault that she's still angry with me. Many times i had the urge to ask her out of the hall to have a walk or chat but everytime i did i suffer a loss of words. Its like i know what excatly i was going to talk about or say but when i wanted to say it i couldn't or seem to forget what i wanted to say.

The prom ended just like that, and afterwards at the reception where everyone were chatting and taking pictures, we were standing there watching. I really wanted to ask her "hey lets snap as many as we can and choose the best when i upload the pictures?" But again i din't know why i din't ask. Maybe i feel she's still mad at me or maybe seeing she look listless and bored the whole night.

We drove down to MOS afterwards, things got slightly better there at the dancefloor. I let loose abit and enjoyed for awhile. Yes awhile....thats all. She looked really bored the whole night. I held her hand for the first time as well, it was cold and her fingers were tiny i could feel it. I wished the whole place was packed so i won't have to let go.

We were the first to left at around 2.35am and while walking up the carpark i could see she was tired and had trouble walking up the slope so i offered to held her hand and walk with her. Maybe its reluctance or shyness but initially she held my hand in a wierd way but we eventually corrected it. At that moment i wanted to tell her: "i hope i could hold onto your hands and walk up this slope till grow old". But somehow i ended up saying a fucking stupid line: " eh u know how to hold hands or not one?" -_-

All of a sudden, it was pouring cats and dogs and really the downpour was so heavy that i could hardly see anything in my windscreen. Finally we reached her place downstairs. I got a big paperbag in my booth and shelter her to the lift lobby. As usual, she was fast to bid me good bye but this time round i held her and planted a kiss onto her cheeks. We bid each other goodbye and she told me to drive carefully and msg her when i got home cause its raining like hell and i haven fully recovered from my sickness.

I got into the car all denched, never mind that it was cold like hell. The next song the radio played when was 'kiss-because i'm a woman'. Sad song on a sad day...is this a bad omen? I sped off, i din't wanted to go home, i just sped as fast as i could, into the night, into the rain, into the unknown.

I'm disappointed in myself even if she said she enjoyed my company and all those, i know she was bored. I know i made her feel so. I don't have such a problem before why is all these happening now?!

Finally got home in the morning, got changed and head to school straight. I realized i forgot to bring the MC i had for tuesday's absence with me...haix so screwed up! I was tired like hell that after signing in i doze off in the library. She texted me afew times but i din't reply to her message, i wasn't ignoring her but i felt i really ruined her night last night.

I feel so down and out............


U're like colors, without u my life is so dull.
U're like the rainbow, after every storm u brighten up my day.
U're like candy, so sweet and addictive.


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posted by mango at 3:46 PM 0 Bitchings
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
The stage is set..

Tonight is one of the biggest nights in my life. Prom night, probably my last one as well. 75% of the preparations have been done. I've recovered from those bloody flu, cough and fever that dogged me for the past 2 days. I'm excited and edgy and i can't wait for it all to begin.

If everything went well its gonna be such a great night because she'd be going with me. Honestly i still can't believed she agree to go with me, its like a dream come true. I'm determined not to screw up anything today because for sure i'm gonna be very busy before the prom.

Updates tomorrow, lots of pictures coming up and hopefully it's something i will remember for a long time!
posted by mango at 9:31 AM 0 Bitchings
Sunday, March 19, 2006
They say everyone has their own destiny...

It was shy-ness at first sight. She kept looking away from me and i was trying hard to contain myself as well. Everything got better soon though, although i think she still din't dare to look straight into my eyes.

The show we were catching starts at 7.55, so there was more than 4hours of free time that was spent walking around shopping for my tie which i eventually got it at takashimaya. Its tough choosing a tie to match a brown shirt but i'm satisfied with my purchase.


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I was hungry but when we sat down in kfc my stomach was suddenly full, just by looking at her. Nevertheless i forced myself to eat, the only reason why i wanna eat is because we wer peeling the chickens and feeding each other! I guess people around us were getting abit of light-bulb feeling! At times i feel like throwing up but somehow i kept managing to hold on and keep eating anything she fed me. Its sweet, it was my first time peeling chicken and feeding someone as well and i guess i really peel them badly because if i were eating it myself i wouldn't bother to peel i would simply stuff the whole chicken in and bite!

The movie was nice although not as sad as it seem to be. But the cinema was cold like hell mainly because it was small and i was sitting right under the air-con. At times i felt she'd be feeling worse than me since i was already feeling cold myself. I thought of embracing her but i dint have the courage to match my thoughts with actions.

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We took a bus back to her place. Halfway round she typed a message in her phone and show it to me: "can i lay on your shoulder?" What a silly question was my first reaction and i joked that she should have told me earlier in the cinema! That bus journey was warm, i wished the driver would drive slower, i wished the route is longer from pasir ris to jurong that kind, and i wished time could stop at that moment.

She gave me this little handmade gift. Although she told me she had something for me i din't knew it would be this, i was at a loss of words, its sweet isn't it? I feel so useless all i could manage was a 'thank u'.


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I walked her all the way home to her lift area on the 9th floor even though my head was so sleepy and in a daze. I din't want to waste any single second because every second is so precious. I ended up walking like a headless chicken to the bus stop and dragging myself home.

I think i'm really a pig, when night comes i'd get really sleepy and nua. I think i must have made her feel so bored just now in some way. Damn i'm such a pig! I feel really happy and contended today but somehow i'm worried i might have made her bored or something likethat towards the end of the day.

I missed the way she blush and show me those monkey faces.....its so cute.....

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posted by mango at 12:11 AM 0 Bitchings
Friday, March 17, 2006
A mixed day

Today wasn't a day to remember. Woke up, submitted my weekly report and Kylie asked me down to town to shop for prom night clothes with the rest. Din't feel like going initially but din't wanna be unsporting also so i went ahead anyway. Asked elmo along and give me another of those lame excuses again....this time saying he's 'abit tired'. Ya right...

Had a little re-touch on my hair color this afternoon as well and the result seem okie, just slight light than the previous tone.

Walked like a zombie around town the whole afternoon or evening. The prices are makes me sick. $400 for one bloody blazer that's going to be worn like 1 or 2 times per year. Damn i was thinking how many things i could buy with $400. Could even use it to pay monthly car installment man. The cheapest i could find was around $200 but the design sucks and feels so uncomfortable with it. So i went home empty handed. Shall have a look again tomorrow with her.

The whole day seem so sucky and moody, bored out of my skin during the shopping as well. At times i just sat there in a monotune mode staring into the blank while everyone were crapping around. It din't help that when i reached home i realized she had a bad headache possibly due to having a light lunch. I felt worried but i felt every helpess at being unable to do anything. I thought of going down to west coast to look for her but i thought it wouldn't be appropriate since they were revising their exams there. So helpless...sigH!

That was the bad thing about today, and the good thing is i'm really looking forward to tomorrow, Saturday! Firstly i've long wanted to watch that show 'my girl & i' so badly. Secondly its the person im watching with that makes everything so much more exciting and great. Never in my wildest dream did i thought i would be watching a show with her. We even joke that we shouldn't chat online today so that tomorrow would be like a wedding day. If u know, before a wedding day, the couple shouldn't see each other or something like that. So i'm getting 'married' tomorrow at cineleisure! I'm really over the moon, so much that last night i took ages getting to sleep. Hopefully i'd better not screw anything up tomorrow, i'd be the stupidest fool if i do!

Life really throws up a fair share of unexpected stuffs! Cherish every bits of it!
posted by mango at 11:45 PM 0 Bitchings
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Living in a dream

If this was a dream, i don't ever wanna wake up
Let me continue dreaming
I'd be contended even if its just a dream
It's not everyday i felt such sweetness
It's not everyday i smile into empty spaces
U came like a bolt out of thin air
And encrave your presence into my mind
posted by mango at 2:50 PM 0 Bitchings
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
My class and I


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Not everyone can say they have a nice class with great classmates isn't it? I'm proud to say i'm one of the rare ones who can say "yes my class rocks!"

Almost 3 years on from the day we step foot into a classroom on level 4 block 27 in np, our bonds have certainly become closer so does our friendships. Naturally not everyone is going to feel that way but it's just my opinion. I vividly remember everything, nice or ugly, bitter or sweet about this class.

I remember........

the first day in school where i accidently took elmo's time-table and then 'ran away' from the orientation with him and szewei....

those days we had trouble finding tables and seats in the canteen because we were such a big group....

the days spent playing CS and CM4 or 5 during lessons...

that day we spent in class after school listening to shank teaching everyone psp1 assignment stuffs...not to mention those tibits!

irwan saying i need 'professional help' during my breakup with cheryl....most ridiculous thing i ever heard lol...

all those chalets during holidays EVERY semester....never fail to organise and never fail to disappoint....

those birthday celebrations....i think they've celebrated for everyone except me...!!

those clubbing nights and drinking sessions....where most of us ended up drunk or high although that was a thing of the past...

the xmas present exchange where desmond took alan's gift and had to wear the bloody sexy thong in front of everyone......

those days we spent playing soccer during the 2 hour break and rush to class soaking in sweat....

those days spent stressing in school during assignment periods....

So much more in fact i couldn't possibly finish writing them all. Sure, there were unhappiness or different opinions clashing at times but the ending is always like a fairytale....happily ever after. Many people have been telling me things like "hey your class very steady leh"....."wah your class so zai and sporting". Its all true i can say, where can u find a class that always have all sorts of activities together without fail? Soon though we'd all be splitting up, girls going on to the next stage of their lives while the guys serve their countries. We won't be seeing each other so often for sure and maybe the bond will not be as close as before but certainly the memories wouldn't fade, for me at least.

Life is like a book, once a chapter ends, a new one open up. So as i close this chapter of mine i shall write a short simple and honest introduction about the peeps in class T13. (I hope in years time i look back at this picture and entry i could have a gd laugh!)

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1. Shank....IT pro.....MR Grade A.....our personal IT helpdesk! Enough said!

2. Chun Yap....i secretly suspect this guy is fucking rich.....nv see him spending and always working and saving! Ideal robbery target!

3. Xiangzhong aka elmo....elmo is his nick, giving lame excuses is his forte!

4. SzeWei....Mr Onz....ain't choosy, ain't fussy....wierd ideas at times though!

5. Adelyn...capable lady....just 2 words.....more than enough.

6. Alan....this guy is a shite ass joker and i mean it......lots of nonsense especially those magic tricks and sex stuffs!

7. Kylie....our lady boss, our organiser, our siao chabor who always complains fat when she's so skinny...

8. Joey....the other siao chabor and one of the more sporting ppl i've come across....

9. Huiying....haha this is funny, we always make jokes about her because she's a study-type person....how bad...

10. Jing Xi aka surprise.....conservative and girly girl who's always smiling...

11. Desmond....this guy is always doing things that other ppl don't do! Number 1 moral example student liao!!

12. Owen...he's a fucking asshole but a jolly nice one as well!

13. Sebrina....aiyo this tiny girl with big brains but certainly a poor drinker!! Orange juice anyone?!

14. Seng Kee...the first person from the class who talk to me, finally seen him wearing JEANS after 2years!

15. Aisha....when my mom first look at my class pic, she ask me if this is our teacher.....JESUS!

16. Chris....i'm starting to hate this fellow....fiona here fiona there fiona everywhere! damn im jealous!

17. Myself....oldest bird and biggest attitude in the whole class....!

There is still got 3 others who weren't in the pic....mr nuaster Jason.....ling and irwan.
posted by mango at 5:35 PM 0 Bitchings
Monday, March 13, 2006
Self-Esteem & Confidence

"Overbearing and arrogant people are covering up for their lack of self-esteem with false confidence."

Now that is why arrogant people are really losers. If one's so confident why does he need to shout the roof off or make proud assumptions or boasts? It goes a long way to show how these people lack confidence in themselves, so much that they have to resort to such antics.

Confidence is undoubtedly an important element of self-esteem, and people who have a high level of self-esteem (i.e. feel good about themselves) generally have a similar level of confidence in their approach to everyday life. However, there are a number of seemingly confident people who, who once that veneer is snatched away, actually have very poor self-esteem – that is, they are not really comfortable or happy in themselves.

In this case, over-confidence is actually a sign that someone is compensating for a lack of self-esteem. Essentially, they are covering up for their lack of self-esteem with false confidence and while some people are wise enough to recognize this about themselves, many are not. They adopt a persona that may make them the life and soul of the party, but they often lack many close or loyal friends as a result.

People with low self-esteem are often constantly busy – they arrange their lives that way. They need to be doing something or seeing someone on an almost constant basic because essentially they don’t feel happy or relaxed in their own company. If u recognize elements of your own life in this description, take a little time out to be on your own.

However low our self-esteem may be, there will certainly be things about yourself that we feel are ‘not bad’. Some of these could be physical qualities like hair, skin, and slim figures. Focus on these things and appreciate them. People with higher self-esteem are not necessarily born slimmer or more attractive than those with a lower level of self-esteem but they spend a little time on themselves to work on their appearance and bring out the best in themselves. It is no coincidence that when life throws crap at u (i.e. end of a relationship), most people tend to let themselves go and experience a loss of self-esteem.

Honestly i admit my self-esteem wasn't high by birth but through hard work and self belief. There were period of times in my life i felt disgusted about everything of myself, my voice, my size, my grades, my family, nearly everything. But once i started appreciating myself and understand that all these are part of life, my confidence and self-esteem grew. I no longer fear being alone or that i don't have a body to die for, things like that u know? Instead i grew to love myself more and pamper myself with everything within my reach. The result? I feel alot more comfortable and happy with myself. Naturally there'd still be people out there trying to screw me up or bad things that happened. But i realized that once u're happy and comfortable with yourself, these issues became non-existent.

Although it is often harder to work on non-physical characteristics than on our appearance, try to accentuate the positive anyway, rather than dwelling on the negative, and make improvements to aspects of your life that we’re not so happy about. Rather than dwell on the bad and sad parts of a past relationship, try to remember the good times instead.

I came to realize what people with high self-esteem and confidence have in common...10 of them.

1. They learn from their mistakes, move on and don't dwell on the past.
2. They take risks, make calculated decisions knowing tat even if they are wrong the results will provide an insight into future risk taking and decision makings.
3. They take up as many new social opportunities as possible.
4. They have a good understanding of how they can look their best to feel good about themselves.
5. They tend to be optimistic - believing that the glass is half-full rather than half-empty.
6. They dump emotional baggage as soon as possible and move on without pre-conceived ideas.
7. They believe that life is what is make it and anything is possible within reason - they are in control of life rather than letting life control them.
8. They also have realistic expectations about life - it isn't always what it is cracked up to be, but that's fine to them.
9. They are adept at both giving and receiving compliments.
10. They understand and feel comfortable with their own individuality, even if their style appears a little weird or stupid to others.
posted by mango at 4:59 PM 0 Bitchings
Sunday, March 12, 2006
The wonders of photoshop

I can't remember a shit about when i started using photoshop or why i used it. My guess is that it was afew years back when i saw people editting nice pictures. Today i must say photoshop is almost like make-up, one can really do wonders with this little software.

When i editted my first picture it feels so great but now when i look at that particular picture i have to admit i feel like laughing my ass off, it looks HORRIBLE!! Of course back then it looks 'great' lah! This goes to show my skills have improved!

This is one of the first pictures that i editted i think.....JESUS!!!

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I guess for those who don't do any editting they will say looking good just because u editted your picture is silly. It's like hiding behind a mask. True for some but not all. In my case i just love editting pictures sometimes when i have the urge or mood. I edit my pictures to make them look unique and its like something of a hobby nowadays.

As for those who edit their pictures, some are merely using them to 'show off' or make themselves look good. Nothing wrong with that i think, everyone wants to look good even if its only on a picture. I can't decide if i look better in pictures or real-life, there are people who say i look better in real life. Anyway its not for me to judge this.

Next comes the question, how do i edit my pictures? I don't know about others but for myself before i edit a picture i have to imagine something great about the plain picture. No matter how plain a picture is, i try to visualize or imagine it to be very nice and outstanding. In doing so i get a rough idea of how i want the picture to look like. There's really no particular methods or skills i use to edit my pictures. I'm too green in photoshop to possess any skills anyway. Once i get the idea how i want the final product to look like, i explore and try everything possible. Sometimes it takes 10minutes, other times it takes like an hour.

There's one golden rule for editting pictures: "Don't over edit it". Sometimes the result is already great and nice but we tend to try to be funny or greedy and edit somemore thus screwing up everything.

Photoshop has certainly become more and more popular over the years and i seem to see editted pictures everywhere especially on friendster. There are even girls who use photoshop to add a 'eye linear' to their pictures to make their eyes bigger or give it a gothic look!

I feel one day i might just end up having a designer job editting and designing stuffs with photoshop. And that includes everything, websites, pictures, banners, ads, bla! This is the only one thing i like in my entire IT course - website designing.

People have been asking me if i went to a studio to take these pictures, but no i took them myself using my usual digital camera in my own bloody room and editting them. And no, my skills sucks, these are really very ordinary editting, u haven seen the pros yet! Slowly but surely i'm improving, and compare to the picture above, its a big difference!

Original and editted (my camera has the function to snap pictures in such color modes)

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posted by mango at 10:32 PM 0 Bitchings
Friday, March 10, 2006
Updates

These are some of the things i wanted to post afew days back but only received the pictures today so i thought i'd post it today. Nothing interested happened today, just a normal passing day.

Tagged by Stephanie .... 7s

Seven dreams before death:
1. Watch Liverpool play @ Anfield
2. A beautiful wedding, something like those by the beach
3. Successful marriage & kids!
4. Stable and successful career
5. Grow taller and fatter
6. Travel around the world
7. Own a BMW

Seven things I CAN'T do at this lifetime:
1. Kill someone
2. Commit sucide
3. Rob someone
4. Steal something
5. Betray my own principals
6. Unfaithful to my spouse
7. Swim

Seven things that attract me:
1. Ppl who carry themselves well
2. X-Factor
3. Anything to do with Liverpool
4. Stylish hairstyles
5. Latest fashion
6. Sweet smiles, esp when blushing (i think tat someone will read this!)
7. Fast Cars

Seven things I say:
1. Jesus
2. my god
3. wah lao
4. shit!
5. sian
6. fu*k
7. freaking hell

Seven books that I love:
1. second chance
2. da vinci code
3. angels & demons
4. astrology books
5. hair style books
6. david beckham (my side)
7. self improvement books

Seven movies that I love:
1. Notting Hill
2. Troy
3. Keeping the faith
4. My best friend's wedding
5. Shall we dance
6. Innocent steps
7. A walk in the clouds

Seven tags:
1. anyone
2. who
3. wants
4. to
5. do
6. this
7. sh*t!

Photos taken at M.O.S on wednesday with my classmates. Mostly candid shots =)

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Irwan Alan Owen & Me (must stop playing soccer liao im so black!)
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Kylie & Alan
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Haha this is what we call ACT CUTE (guys version!)
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Candid Camera
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Guys stuff...
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Gotcha!
posted by mango at 5:49 PM 0 Bitchings


MANGO
It's not easy being me
Love is my sin and thy dear virtue hate
Hate of my sin, grounded on sinful loving


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floyd.ke@gmail.com


Once a red, always a red
Cut me open and I will bleed LIVERPOOL