It can be that miserable sometimes

I was talking alot of rubbish with Carol while helping her see those online shopping stuffs - girls clothes of course. At one point, I said:

Fernando Torres - selection headache says:
wah sian
Fernando Torres - selection headache says:
why i dun have a nice gf
Fernando Torres - selection headache says:
if i have one
Fernando Torres - selection headache says:
i will buy for her
Fernando Torres - selection headache says:
secretly
Fernando Torres - selection headache says:
as surprise
Fernando Torres - selection headache says:
damn it

Fernando Torres - selection headache says:
really leh
Fernando Torres - selection headache says:
everytime i go bkk
Fernando Torres - selection headache says:
i see so many nice chabor clothes
Fernando Torres - selection headache says:
i think
Fernando Torres - selection headache says:
wah if i have a gf jiu hao
Fernando Torres - selection headache says:
i can buy
Fernando Torres - selection headache says:
hk also same
Fernando Torres - selection headache says:
hk alot!
♂→Єұ СąŖðĿ ЄęŁЗБяїäΩ ←♀ O][o SurrealisticDream.Blogspot.Com o][O says:
buy for me lor

Fernando Torres - selection headache says:
its different!!!!
Fernando Torres - selection headache says:
u know when u buy for ppl u like
Fernando Torres - selection headache says:
e feelingis diff
Fernando Torres - selection headache says:
and when u see them wear it
Fernando Torres - selection headache says:
it feels even more satisfying
Fernando Torres - selection headache says:
right?

Sometimes, having a girlfriend isn't that bad. I definitely miss the days I had someone to pamper and surprise. I love giving surprises, be it small or big and when I'm in a relationship I always pamper my partner more than myself. It's true, everytime I go overseas I stuffs which I thought would make a perfect gift or a surprise for a gf but then, I don't have a gf, so I can't buy it. Buy for a friend? It's different, the feeling is not the same. The sense of satisfication and joy when you see your gf being happy with the gift is a wonderful feeling.

Then I thought about my upcoming overseas trip. I'm going to stay in a luxury suite with living room, living room, a rooftop swiming pool, and so on but think about it, having a someone special there would definitely make a huge difference. It's fun travelling overseas but sometimes I do wonder how it is like to travel with ur loved one. 2001 seem such a long way ago, that was the 1st and only time I ever travelled with a gf. But then, just face it, I'm single so I shall just treat that as a bachelor's trip. 7 days where I will live a life that I've always dream of.




Rooftop Pool


Bathtub - amazing veiws isn't it?

Thoughts of the day

Change - Not everyone fancies changes. To some, it is like having to start from ground zero all over again. It is a tiring challenge and more than often it forces people to come out of their comfort zone.

I don't like changes but if I don't move with the flow and adapt to whatever life throws up, I will always be on the backfoot. Life is about being able to discard away your comfort zone and face up to the challenge of something new.

Too often in disappointing situations, we mention that tomorrow will be a better day, or that the grass is greener on the other side. But some don't realize that tomorrow will never be a better day until you let go of yesterday. Similiarly, you will never reach the side of the hill where the grass is fresher and greener until you totally let go of what you are currently holding on to.

Embrace change as it comes, let go of yesterday and there will be a rainbow at the end of a storm.

English as it is broken

In Singapore English, we tend to construct questions the same way we make statements. In standard English, questions always begin with either a question word such as who and what or a verb such as did or will.

Singaporeans love "got" meh? So a sentence can be translated into "His son got study overseas meh?"

In making a statement, we might say, "His son studied overseas". But since we are asking a question it should be, "Did his son study overseas?"

"Meh" appears to be operating as a marker to flag the sentence as a question, Singapore style of course! But it is unnecessary since it should be the word order and structure that indicate whether a sentence is a question or a statement.

"Got" is unnecessary as well, in fact it is often overused and misused in Singaporean speech. To think that Singaporeans nowadays often wanna follow the western way of speaking English but often we end up making a fool of ourselves. Of course we don't know it because 2 people speaking broken English can't possibly see each other's fault but try speaking our English to the Americans or British and we could well be in for a rude shock.

The lies I believe

Truth or lie? We humans have a complicated mind that we ourselves sometimes struggle to understand. In the midst of these struggles, we sometimes foolishly believe things which aren't true. It could be strong pressure from our friends or family, it could be due to a lack of confidence, or it could be just our imaginations. In fact there are alot of reasons as to why re believe lies, each depending on the situation. I'm no different from everyone, there are lies I foolishly believe as well, some which are as silly as a slim girl looking into the mirror and say to herself: "I'm fat, I need to diet and lose weight!"

Lie no. 1 - I'm still young
Each time I tell myself: "I'm still young", it was words of comfort to possibly a setback but to be realistic, how young can a person stay? There is a time we have to tell ourselves: "I'm not young anymore it's now or never." Sometimes when we make ourselves feel young, it could have an adverse effect. It could become our comfort zone and eventually become an excuse for every failure or setback.

Lie no. 2 - I'm good with girls
Lets face it, a guy who has a way with girls wouldn't be dateless nearly every single weekend and is still left on the shelf after more than a year. Once upon a time I admit I had a way with the opposite sex but nowadays isn't the case anymore. For one, I'm not really a funny person, and I'm plain boring. Maybe that explains why uh.

Lie no. 3 - I'm good-looking
I don't know how people define the term 'good-looking' but fact is that it should be a complete package meaning looks and facial features aside, the height, physique and charisma should be there and I lack all of those.

Lie no. 4 - The grass is greener on the other side
Another piece of excuse of words which brings music to my ears during difficult times. What I didn't realize was the hidden line - the grass is greener on the other side but u also need to make sure u manage to find the other side.

Lie no. 5 - I can live without a woman
Been there, done that. I have no problems living a single life but all the happiness in singlehood added up still conjures upon the fact that there is still a missing piece of happiness that can only be found when my status reads: "Attached". It's not for nothing they say 'behind every successful man is a woman'.

Lie no. 6 - I'm good enough
Everytime I tell myself I'm good enough for something, disappointment always follow thereafter. Confidence is an amazing thing, too little and u fall apart, too much and u fall apart too. I was never good enough in anything, because there is no limit as to how good I can become. Hard work pays off and the key to working hard is to be humble.

Lie no. 7 - God is fair
I don't know about others but as far as I'm concerned, god was never fair to me in the beginning. And all my life I've always had to take the longer and harder route when everyone else takes the opposite. Since when is god fair to me when he already more than ruined my life.

Lie no. 8 - Girls are stucked up
This impression have always been livid in my mind but to be honest it's also because I've met my fair share of such girls which further cement that thought in my mind. It's as though as I've got a thing against girls which is true as I don't give a damn to appearances or status but however this is just some stucked up thinking I have. There are nice girls arounds and just simply meeting and getting a tummyache from a rotten appple doesn't necessarily mean I have to paint the same picture for the rest of the apples in the cart.

Lie no. 9 - Money is not everything
I can say it 100 times that money isn't everything but 10000 times my mind will tell me money is 'almost' everything in this world, especially when I'm living in a place call Singapore. Yes a country whose people are extremely money minded, whose living standard is very modern and where pieces of paper could be worth more than diamonds.

Lie no. 10 - I'm a positive person
For every positive I have, there are probably 3 negatives accompanying it. But ironically its because of this negatives and fear of failure which inspires me to success. Having said that, I can't say I'm a positive person because I hide alot of negatives behind the positive and confident image I put up. I guess I'm one of those who allow negatives to inspire them further so it's not all gloom and doom.

There are definitely much more than these 10 lies I often cheated myself with. I don't know if I will continue to cheat myself, I'm quite sure I will but I too, am quite sure I will think harder and deeper each time to avoid cheating myself.

Random Photos

Some random photos, first time i allow someone to snap solo photos for me. I think I'm really not used to it yet, can't seem to be myself when there are people around. Thanks to Simbian for the help nevertheless.

No title entry

Can't think of a title for this entry. So lets just say today I did something I've been longing to do for more than 2 weeks - bathe on 2 feets!

Went to NUH to remove the bloody cast and was shocked to see how much of my sexy leg hair I've lost due to either the cast or my scratchings. Walking is abit wierd now, the whole knee is so stiff like some roti prata dough filled with glue. I couldn't resist walking around so I walk and walk until the nurse made me lie down until the doctor came over. But anyway like they say, the grass is greener on the other side. When I bathe on 2 feets, fast and comfortable after I got home, it made me appreciate my legs more than ever. Think of those who lost a limb or is paralysed for good. If 15 days is hell for me then an entire lifetime for them must be unimaginable.

Another thing came to mind. While I was at my private doctor's clinic after NUH to get my flu medicine and MC, I went to eat at a familiar place, the coffeeshop at my old house. I order wanton mee and when the fella delivered over, I gave him 2 $2 notes but he returned me one. So ok it's still $2. Talk about rising costs. Then awhile later he returned to give me back my change of 50 cents! What? A plate of wanton noodles cost $1.50? And to think before they renovated this place the previous seller sold $2 each plate. It makes me wonder, just how do they make any profits from this? $1.50 wanton mee - 4 wantons, char siew, veggie, noodles & soup. It is almost the same as those $3.50 or $4 ones in the food court. I looked around and realize the chicken rice is also going for $1.50! Wah lao, talk about rising food costs indeed! I will be back!

I wanna get out

It may only be early March, I may still have another trip this coming May, but it has not deter my mind from thinking about December and my ORD trip. I have long wanted to live in anywhere but Singapore and this December I will finally have the chance to fufil that dream. It is not because I detest Singapore but because I find no peace and serenity here at all. I wanna be somewhere where nobody knows me, nobody judges me and I can live all by myself and experience a new kind of lifestyle. Even if it is just for a month the most, it is something I relish and look forward to.

Although I have yet to submit my application for my full time degree course, I forecast the course will begin somewhere in Feburary or even July so I will have at least more than a month to seek paradise somewhere. I want to go to somewhere where there is winter, where there is snow, where white christmas isn't just a dream. I've shortlisted afew places, amongst them seoul, tokyo, paris, and shanghai. I'm able to afford Paris but I'm very doubtful for that one because I've always wanted that for my honeymoon and besides, if I were to get so far to a place like Paris, I would also like to visit the famous wine yards and farms. That leaves the asian countries as the more realistic targets. I will give myself a timeline of up to my Birthday to book the air tickets. It would be great to have companion but I'm fine without it also. There are people who ask isn't it pathetic going overseas alone? Well, it depends on how an individual sees it, remember the last blog entry? Enough said.

And people often ask, how I could go so many trips considering the financial burden. Alot of them actually don't realize their monthly expenses is enough to go to places like America or Europe. How u scrimp and save is how far u will travel. Alot of people will be shocked if I tell them my lifestyle. Because I scrimp and save so badly, my friends misunderstood me as unsporting, unwilling to go out. Because I save like hell each month, I eat the sucky food from cookhouse everyday. Can anyone go out daily and just spend 70 cents on newspaper? Do anyone knows I don't even bring my wallet when I go to camp every morning? Perhaps $2 is the most I would bring on odd days. I'm not stingy, I just restrict myself from unnecessary spendings. Savings is important to a person whose sex reads: Male.

It's not easy, but if u want something, it's not beyond your dreams as many tend to think, it's just about whether u are willing to scarifice some things and go that extra mile to reach your dreams. Because I save and scrimp so badly, I do not have much of a social life. People often think I date different girls everyday and spend my nights getting wild at some clubs but that's not the case. An average week in my life could be that I get to bed by 11pm every night on weekdays, spending Saturday in the gym or at home watching soccer and Sunday out on the soccer field. I'm not like what people think but I don't give a damn to what people think either.

December will be harder as I have to settle my course beforehand, there will be more expenses. But again it will not deter me, I just want to get out of this country and have the most wonderful month of my life in a foreign land before i commence on a new chapter in my life when I get back.

Then, what happens to the colors which they don't like? They are unappreciated and people will never see their true values. A human brain seem to consist of 2 boxes - like and dislike boxes. Assuming that the brain is fixed in it's thinking and mindset, the moment a color falls into the dislike box, it be there for good, more or less. No matter how it tries to change the person's opinion of it, it will always have the tag 'dislike' placed over it.

I find that humans are like this. Once we are fixed in our thinking towards something, that something either falls into the dislike or like box in our brains. If a person thinks a particular dressing is nice, then it is nice. It doesn't matter if everyone thinks it sucks or it actually sucks like hell because it's already fallen into his 'like' box. In other words, he can see no fault with it and it would be hard to change his opinion of it.