The day before

Drop by drop they fell from the sky, if only it was snow but no it was only rain. There's a slight chill and breeze blowing, i feel cold inside out, my body's numb and so is my mind. Why am i feeling so much harted today? Isn't it supposed to be a day i look forward to? I can't recall an xmas eve i felt so horrible, so blue and moodless. How fast things can change in a year, last xmas i could only recall happy memories, and to think one year had already passed so quickly. Thats life i guess. Full of ups and downs.

I really love this time of the month, beside chinese new year this was the only time of the year i love most. But i feel totally different today, everything seem to be in a mess or going wrong. Couldn't get to sleep until 5am yesterday thanks to the god damn flu and guess what? Woke up at 8am, that means 3 pathetic hours of sleep ok i did forced myself to sleep at 1pm and woke up around 4.30 but i still feel so tired and moody all over. I just realized one thing this month, that i have extremely few friends, friends whom i can count on, friends that i can go out with. So few of them that when i look at my flooded msn and hp list i can't help but wonder why?

5.30pm now and i still haven a clue where to go tonight. I'm thinking of spending xmas eve at home for once, the first time in like 8 years. Clubbing and partying on this ocassion has certainly lost its taste in me after years of repetition, how i wish i can have someone, even friends will do, to have a simple nice dinner outside and celebrate. Like Chris said, he really wanna have a dinner and the mentioning of turkey makes me carve for it. Sadly it won't be happening this year. Messy confusing and fusturasting night ahead i predict.....not to mention lots of havoc and chaos.....