Calling a spade a spade



A picture says a thousand words, a picture with words has no limits.

This thing has been bothering me for years and its still bothering me now even though I've more or less got used to it. Why do people always like to judge me by my looks? Why do people like to assume or have an impression of anything through my looks?

Oh well i guess this is a god-sent gift as well as trouble which i simply have to get used to. Since young people have been telling me i have those playboy looks, those that give people impressions that i'm never short of girls, that i have countlless girlfriends, that i'm always attached, bla bla bla......whats new huh!?!

Make this clear, i have only 9 ex-gfs and out of those 9, only 3 of them are really what i call long-term and serious relationship. Okie to some i guess 9 is considered alot thats because they probably have only 1 or 2 ex-gf/bf. But its not fair to judge this way, one have to look at my past, my history. I was a god damn ah beng since secondary 2 and that was also the year i had my first gf. I'm sure people are aware that ah bengs are mostly flirts or like to go around chasing girls, so having 9 ex is a rather low figure alright. Don't forget i'm reaching 23 this year and i see some 18 or 19 year-olds having more than 20 ex nowadays.

Well saying 3 out of 9 are serious relationship doesn't makes the rest of the 6 flings or some yaya papaya relationships. Its just that there was what i call 'substance' in those 3 relationships, the thinking was right, there were ambitions and there was a future ahead even though all 3 ended eventually.

Back to my looks, now tell me will anyone please tell me whats wrong with my looks?! Do i really look like a playboy like what people says? Do i really give people the impression that i've a date on valentine's day all the time?

Got this sms from grace this afternoon :

G: ....btw got anyone date u out tml on vday?
Me: got but i rejected, so consider dun have loh
G: wah lao u siao ah why reject?
Me: coz i dun feel like going out with them so reject loh
G: wow i'm surprised to hear such a reply from u
Me: huh? then wat reply u wan haha

And this msn conversation with stephanie this evening:

steph : lol. coz ur looks seem so (she replying to my nick --> why does everyone assume i have a date on vday?!)
Me: ......
steph: know wat
steph: u actually give us a impression that
steph: always changing a gf
Me: why?!?! why why why why why!??!
Me: wats wrong with my loooookssss?
steph: duno
steph: got the playboy looks

Now will someone please kill me?! sha le wo bah! I admit i look 'ok' but i don't really think i have the playboy looks. Even if i do it doesn't makes me a playboy at all cause i was never one. I may flirt ocassionally when i'm single but that's no playboy. I've never 2-timed my ex before and i don't think i'm capable of doing it. Reason? When i'm in love i fall hard and close my eye to the rest of the world. If u still don't get it well i'm saying that person will be the world to me i wont even bother about anything else.

Talking about finding a gf, i don't fancy the word 'find'. It just doesn't exist in my love dictionary, rather i prefer the word 'meet'. So people who keep asking me when i'm going to FIND a gf is really driving me nuts even though i won't show it to them haha. To be honest, finding a gf is not a problem for me (eh not being 'hao lian' or what lah okie i'm just being honest and realistic) but i don't like the idea of having a gf for the sake of wanting a gf having one. If that's the case i'd rather not have a gf which is what i've choosen. I rather wait for someone i can see a future with to appear.

Its the same for valentine's day. Do u think i don't want a date? Which guy in his right frame of mind would want to spend vday alone? I can have a date if i want to, but i want a date that is worth it, especially on a special day like vday. I don't want to simply date someone just for the sake of having a date just to make myself satisfied. Patience is a virtue.

I'm tired of people telling me the same thing all the time. If they wish to call a spade a spade so be it, i'm a playboy then. The last thing on my mind currently is a gf, its not as important as things like my final exams and my 'second wife'. Don't be mistaken though, i want a gf, i want to get married and have 2 adorable kids, but i can't probably go around singapore and find that person right? A sentimental and romantic dickhead like me can't probably stand the thought of being single for good! Touched wood!