Self-Esteem & Confidence

"Overbearing and arrogant people are covering up for their lack of self-esteem with false confidence."

Now that is why arrogant people are really losers. If one's so confident why does he need to shout the roof off or make proud assumptions or boasts? It goes a long way to show how these people lack confidence in themselves, so much that they have to resort to such antics.

Confidence is undoubtedly an important element of self-esteem, and people who have a high level of self-esteem (i.e. feel good about themselves) generally have a similar level of confidence in their approach to everyday life. However, there are a number of seemingly confident people who, who once that veneer is snatched away, actually have very poor self-esteem – that is, they are not really comfortable or happy in themselves.

In this case, over-confidence is actually a sign that someone is compensating for a lack of self-esteem. Essentially, they are covering up for their lack of self-esteem with false confidence and while some people are wise enough to recognize this about themselves, many are not. They adopt a persona that may make them the life and soul of the party, but they often lack many close or loyal friends as a result.

People with low self-esteem are often constantly busy – they arrange their lives that way. They need to be doing something or seeing someone on an almost constant basic because essentially they don’t feel happy or relaxed in their own company. If u recognize elements of your own life in this description, take a little time out to be on your own.

However low our self-esteem may be, there will certainly be things about yourself that we feel are ‘not bad’. Some of these could be physical qualities like hair, skin, and slim figures. Focus on these things and appreciate them. People with higher self-esteem are not necessarily born slimmer or more attractive than those with a lower level of self-esteem but they spend a little time on themselves to work on their appearance and bring out the best in themselves. It is no coincidence that when life throws crap at u (i.e. end of a relationship), most people tend to let themselves go and experience a loss of self-esteem.

Honestly i admit my self-esteem wasn't high by birth but through hard work and self belief. There were period of times in my life i felt disgusted about everything of myself, my voice, my size, my grades, my family, nearly everything. But once i started appreciating myself and understand that all these are part of life, my confidence and self-esteem grew. I no longer fear being alone or that i don't have a body to die for, things like that u know? Instead i grew to love myself more and pamper myself with everything within my reach. The result? I feel alot more comfortable and happy with myself. Naturally there'd still be people out there trying to screw me up or bad things that happened. But i realized that once u're happy and comfortable with yourself, these issues became non-existent.

Although it is often harder to work on non-physical characteristics than on our appearance, try to accentuate the positive anyway, rather than dwelling on the negative, and make improvements to aspects of your life that we’re not so happy about. Rather than dwell on the bad and sad parts of a past relationship, try to remember the good times instead.

I came to realize what people with high self-esteem and confidence have in common...10 of them.

1. They learn from their mistakes, move on and don't dwell on the past.
2. They take risks, make calculated decisions knowing tat even if they are wrong the results will provide an insight into future risk taking and decision makings.
3. They take up as many new social opportunities as possible.
4. They have a good understanding of how they can look their best to feel good about themselves.
5. They tend to be optimistic - believing that the glass is half-full rather than half-empty.
6. They dump emotional baggage as soon as possible and move on without pre-conceived ideas.
7. They believe that life is what is make it and anything is possible within reason - they are in control of life rather than letting life control them.
8. They also have realistic expectations about life - it isn't always what it is cracked up to be, but that's fine to them.
9. They are adept at both giving and receiving compliments.
10. They understand and feel comfortable with their own individuality, even if their style appears a little weird or stupid to others.