Reality is like a battlefield

U either kill or be killed. Think about it, every aspect of life is really a battlefield, there's simply no room for sympathy and grief. The most merciless and cruel ones will survive it seem. Its a harsh cruel world and its no place for softies.

People often mistaken me as a very fierce, tough or scary guy but in truth, i'm like a crab - hard outside but soft inside. I'm like a novel, u have to read on longer to get what the whole storyline is about. There are so many times in the past i allowed my softer side to get the better of me and ended up trying to get myself out of a mess. There was once i tried to cover up for a friend and got misunderstood by everyone. There was once i stalled over my decision whether to buy that shirt which was a last piece and within seconds it was gone.

Playing the nice guy simply isn't doing myself any favours as i found out. Over the years i told myself i have to harden up to adapt to reality. I've had my fair share of success although the progress wasn't as fast as i wish for it to be. There are still times i allow my heart to rule over my head even though i knew it wasn't a right decision.

I'm going to change that. I'm going to be even more heartless than ever from now on. To get what i want, to acheive success, as long as its not through some shameless manners, i will be cruel when needed. I'm sick of playing second fiddle sometiems, i'm sick of suffering, i want to be a player now. Its better to play than be played. I don't mean my heart's gonna turn into some ice or rock or even worst, without one. I'm just saying i've to use my head more often now if i ever want success to come flooding in.

Anyway its such a boring saturday today, hardly had anything to do from morning right until now. Had a sudden urge to cut my hair today instead of early May as planned. The results wasn't that bad, i'm quite satisfied. Nowadays i seem to prefer a simple and more boylish style instead of ever changing styles and colors which i often did in the past. I used to be unable to stand my hair in black or extremely dark colors but not anymore.

Boredroom kicked in and i decided to messed around with photoshop. I'm zi lian, i know that so please don't remind me if anyone of u ever felt the urge to!