Truths of Truth

Sometimes we get so caught up in finding the Truth we forget why we even bothered to start searching in the first place. We forget that sometimes its really not worth it finding the Truth.

Sometimes mystery can be a bad thing. Too much intrigue and you start to doubt. Too little, you want more.

The thing about people is you never know when they're telling the truth. Its like women & orgasms, they just have a natural ability to fake them.

In the same way, humans do have a natural ability to lie.

So when do you know that certain someone is lying? You never know. He could be telling you one thing, and yet it may not be true at all. The best thing is, you'd never know. Even if he's right here in front of you, what he is saying may not necessary be what he's thinking.

So what are you really supposed to do??

Fessed!

Carol told me this evening about how popular and infamous I've become thanks to some flaming stuffs in some girls forum. If it was to be believed, some so call 'ex-gf from np' posted something like how badly I stabbed her in her heart, how horribly I treated her like a toy and how much she wanted all the opposite sex to distant themselves from me. And that how popular I was in some clubs, basically yaba yaba yaba. It was also said that the thread was so 'hot' that the admin closed it down. How childish and ingorant I would say.

First and foremost its incredible that it was 2-3 months back and I do not recall being attached back then and even worse still having having a gf in my school. 2 - 3 months back I was suffering badly with my FYP for goddess sake! I do not fancy being portrayed as someone I'm not or for something I did not do. I may not have a big reputation but I have my own reputation and rights. Being flamed isn't something new to me but it really gets on my nerves. Can't those people in forums post something more meangingful instead?

Maybe I'm quite infamous and my unique name easily rings a bell in most people as they find it familiar but I'm not quite a player as most will assume it. I crap alot sometimes but that does not necessary makes me an insensitive and ignorant playboy. There's nothing wrong with flirting when you're single, much as many would consider it a sin or taboo but its not like I'm attached and go around sleeping with girls or fooling behind my partner's back. Being single means you're entitled to some things which attached parties are not and flirting is one of them.

Besides, it takes 2 to tango and 2 to flirt. I can only flirt so much if the other person is a flirt too. You get the picture? So yes I'm quite a flirt I don't deny that, I'm a pretty good one too to say but I know my limits. I don't go around breaking up couples or sleeping with just any Marry Jane or Nancy.

Many girls these days have this terrible impressions of guys being a nutcase desperate pervert but I will say not all of them are like this. A rotten apple does not necessary mean the rest of the apples are rotten too. The same goes to say that a bad experience does not mean the next one will be equally bad. Its really irritating and annoying to hear labelling guys in such a way just because of some real idiotic ones.

Tired and numb

I wished I had a maid right now to cook something for me. Too tired and feeling so cosy in my room to get my ass out cooking. Reason? Had a field soccer match under the killer sun for the entire late morning. It feels extremely great to be kicking a ball on grass in a big field after all these months. The last time I laced up my boots were during the disasterous ICT tourement.

And needless to say I suffered horribly out there. Playing against adults at least 2 years older than me and bigger size than me is one thing. Having a lack of sleep, partying the night before and being short of fitness is another. Now I understand why professional soccer players have to control their lifestyle and what they eat. Anyway the game ended 3-3 and I think I played crap especially for the 2nd goal conceded I feel like Fabio Aurelio for liverpool against shefield united. Standing there like a dumb fool and allowing that fellow a free header at goal. The sun is a real killer this morning as well, I'm like burnt!

Yesterday after work I decided to visit 2 places I used to frequent. The temple at bugis and borders bookstore. Been such a long time I went to "dear tee gong...." and even longer since I went to indulge myself in books at borders. While on the way there, I saw alot of young parents with their kids and I started having a wild thought or imgination of myself as a dad bringing my kids to town for shopping on a Saturday or Sunday. How great that would be, seeing ur own little fella running about in the toy store or the smiles on his/her face. Wow suddenly I wished I'm already married with 2 kids, I've always love kids. They are so cute and warmth to be with, so innocent too.

Went chilling out at MOS with szewei afterwards and boy did the place change quite abit. The staff are wearing levis clothes now and there were some extensions in the main hall and smoove. The enterance fee increases as well which I find abit ridiculous when u consider paying $28. Did they want $3 from every parton to cover their renovation expenses? Anyway it was mad packed as usual but this time round we limited our drinks intake and went off early around 2.30.

Cool weekend I had!




My boots are spoilt!


Vain as always!

The 4 elements and combinations of astrology

An important factor in the fate of a relationship is the elements. The elements define our basic temperament and what we are most spontaneously apt to do. Sometimes we act unconsciously, blindly, and inpulsively because of the strength of our element. We don't really realize that ourselves sometimes and usually fire signs are the ones who are most likely to think astrology and horoscopes are nonsenses.

Air - Gemini, Libra, Aquarius

Air sign people are mental and analytical and usually use their heads more than their hearts. Typical air signs trust their logic in their heads over their intuition and are forever trying to figure things out with their head. They are emotionally detached, changeable and sociable as well as needing alot of space and stimulation. They are usually the smartest people you can find.

Thus air signs love verbal and intellectual communication or someone who can turn them on with their excellent communication skills. However, emotionally they can be superficialand difficult to pin down as they are indecisive when it comes to matters of the heart. They often find themselves asking themselves what they want. Of all the elements, fire and air signs have the hardest time with commitment and the most capable of being unfaithful.

Air sign people enjoy brief, superficial interactions that other elements might consider foolish and shallow. They are often heavy clubbers, who like the fire signs, just wanna have a good time in the moment. Air signs hate being tied down and can be very fickle should that happen.

Because their heads rule their hearts, they can get terribly confused at times about what they are feeling. Air signs are the ones who are most capable of changing as a person and become very hard to read or understand. They can seem to be an overnight best friend and when in the light of the day, that connection gets completely forgotten.

They approach relationships with rational analysis, not feelings. Therefore emotional displays usually frightens them or make them feel suffocated. When when they get frighten, they tend to run or hide away.

The most materialistic people are usually air signs. This is because people under these signs love a life of luxury and simply prefer the best. Only the best would do for them.


Fire - Aries, Leo, Sagittarius

Fire sign people are energetic, impatient and impulsive. They are full of life, vim and vigor and are highly self expressove. Often childish in their attitude, they tend to want what they want when they want it. Most of all, they want to have fun. The world is their playground and their mission is as much pleasure as can be had.

They seek excitement, hate being bored and loved to be entertained. Likewise, they are often entertaining themselves. Fire signs are usually prone to 'love at first sight' siutations that can be quickly burnt out should things get boring.

Passionate, impulsive, romantic and enthusiastic, they often act before they think and sometimes get themselves into some serious emotional stews. They are the most self-centered and restless people you can find and never let anything get them down for long.

Although they love having alot of attention, they also tend to need a challenge. So they hate people who are clingy, weepy and wanting more of their time than they can afford to give. This is also because fire signs prize their most important asset - freedom. They need lots of it and always want to have their way with things. It is either their way or the highway. This applies to every aspect from friends, career and relationships.


Earth - Virgo, Taurus, Capricorn

People borned under earth signs are the most practical and pragmatic types who have 2 feets on the ground and need to know where they are going. These are the ones who love having a routine or schedule to follow - what they will be doing every week, what time, and where, etc.

Earth signs are the most security-oriented, both on a material and emotional level. They prefer concrete, stable and enduring relationships that promises both security and longevity. Because earth signs are earthly people, they need what is tangible (real) and not what is most exciting or ideal. Unlike air signs that dont give a damn as long it is exciting and interesting, earth signs are the complete opposite.

This type of people are usually very organized, task oriented and perfectionistic performers. Highly focused and completely tenacious, they climb the mountain one step at a time and make steady progress even so they will eventually get to where they want. They are often able to own the mountain because of their amazing patience and fortitude when faced with obstacles.

This same attitude brought into relationships often make other signs think they are boring. However the truth is that typical earth signs do not consider excitement. More likely, they will consider stability and security as well as trust. Loyal and trustworthly, they want a partner they can depend on, not a playmate.

They are often blind to seeing siutations that are under the surface. When too earth bound, earth can suffocate air, put out fire, and turn water into mud. However, they just do not see it and probably will never. They think that as long they make money, handle it well, and show up day after day to share it with a partner, they are doing their job well. But a relationship isn't a job.


Water - Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces

Sensitive, intuitive and emotional, the water signs are all emotional introverts who live in their own world. Don't be fooled by how popular they are or how many friends they have. Usually aware of the smallest details, water signs see human subtleties and instinctively understand them. They trust their feelings as a source of truth and more than often would use their heart over their heads unlike air or fire signs.

Water sign people are often psychic sponges and need to be self protective in negative siutations because they are easily prone to hurt and emotional stress which can cause a change in their moods. Their feelings are often so intense that it is nearly impossible for them to deal with the day to day frustrations of life. This make them very difficult people to understand.

They are also slow at moving on after a setback as they tend to think and get too carried away with their thinking or unwilling to let go of the past.

Water signs live and die by their feelings and so if they strongly feel something, without question they will know it is true and stick by it. As they are sensitive people, they detest insensitive people who often get on their nerves as they cant see and feel what water signs can.

They have a special gift in being perceptive(very sensitive). But it is also their curse as living day to day in a superficial world when you have such amazing emotional depth is not easy. Thus water signs end up battling their moods with their emotions daily. They are one of the most moody people you can find.

The people who need love more than any are usually water sign people. Highly romantic and passionate, they seek close, intimate connections that reflects their affirm and inner sensitiveness. Most water signg seek a soulmate and would would be the last to marry for money. What they want in life is not the bucks but the love and bliss they can find in a true love. They can have all the millions and success in the world but they will never feel complete without love.

Water signs like scorpios and cancers carry a mystifying aura around them which most would find highly seductive and sensual. And unlike other elements, they have their own unique ways of seeing and doing things which leads other elements to theme them as wierdos or ridiculous.


Elemenets Combination

Fire with Fire
Having the same element, they have the same essential temperament: impatient, impulsive, fast, fun loving and excitement seeking. Fire is the most intensely alive element and it expects others to run at its pace. They dont want to be held back and hate the word NO. Together, 2 fire signs will make great partners for friendship, business and love. Inspired, enthusiastic, creative and forever looking for the most fun way to do something, they instinctively fire each other up and the incandescent energy is contagious!

Fire with Air
Air fans the flames of fire while fire inspires air. A fire sign with an air sign is an excellent combination with instant chemistry and great emotional compatibility. Fire and air complement each other in such a way that they bring the best out of each other's temperament, stimulate each other's minds and spirits and energize each other in their choosen directions. Fire and air signs are very intense when together and make a great choice for friendship, marriage or just having loads of fun.

Fire with Earth
A fire sign with an earth sign is a challenging choice at best. A good combination for business, as the different headsets can both complement and compensate for each other. Fire tend to feel smothered by earth and earth is often irritated by the energy of fire. They both look at life in completely different ways. Earth is slow, practical and motivated by the need for security whereas fire is fast, impulsive and freedom loving and easily impatient and bored. This combination is irritating and not really a wise choice.

Fire with Water
Just as water will put out a fire, fire signs often feel extinguished by water signs. Fire signs hate the feeling of being curbed or contained. They want to feel free to move in whatever direction takes their fancy, and they often feel slowed down by the emotional water signs. Fire can get impatient with all that emotional displays of water while water can look upon fire as shallow and insensitive. On a very close contact, fire can make water even more insecure and fire may feel especially with the intense energies of scoprio, that there is a subtle energy pull that puts out the fire. At the same time however, this can be a sexually passionate connection that can sizzle both emotionally and sexually.

Air with Air
An air sign with another air sign is a completely at home. Communication is a thing of ease here and since air signs are naturally curious, they like to carry on communications about how things work and why. Air also has strong space and freedom requirements that they mutally respect. Air with air is built in comfort zone that requires little work but offers endless satisfaction. Because air's number 1 need is to have mental stimulation, 2 air signs can fufill that for one another effortlessly. Air signs tend to become friends first and lovers later, building a strong foundation that can form a lifetime of meangingful experience. This is a smart choioce where relating is easy.

Air with Earth
Air signs and earth signs are highly incompatible with each other because they approach life in very different ways. Earth is practical and grounded, always focused on the pragmatic view of a siutation whereas air can get lost in ideas that can be theoretical rather than practical. The slow, plodding ways of earth can really annoy air who is mentally agile and quick to come up with answers without hours of footwork. On the other hand, earth may see air as undependable and unreliable. These 2 elements are grounded in completely different spheres that could lead to communication breakdown and is one of the most difficult choices.

Air with Water
This is another challenging combination that could work or fail. It requires patience on the parts of both parties. Air signs are not as emotional as water signs whereas water signs use their heart more than their head unlike air signs. As long they can put this right and understand this, there is every chance of this combination working. Water tend to see air as cold and unmoved while air tend to see water as utterly subjective. Water can drown air in their emotions whereas air can hurt water's feelings with their emotionally cold attitude. However, both elements are highly intelligent in their own unique ways and if they can manage to just sit down, trash things out and listen to each other's viewpoints, this is a choice that could work out.

Earth with Earth
An earth sign with another earth sign is a most compatiable combination where both people are temperamentally alike and share the same mindset and views. They speak the same language emotionally, physically and mentally. They may not be an exciting combination like fire with fire but they are the most durable and lasting ones. Since earth signs tends to want things to last forever, this is a very good choice.

Earth with Water
Earth signs and water signs complement each other and could be a very compatible combination. This is because water signs find security in earth while earth signs love the sensitive and caring nature of water signs. Both need stability to feel safe and both want enduring relationships, not one night stands. Since both are sensual, there is usually a high sexual compatibility. There is also a mutal support and understanding for each other and therefore this combination usually makes for a lasting relationship that feels like comfort zone. It could be a very smart choice.

Water with Water
Two water signs ensures there is alot of emotional and sensual compatibility. Although each water sign is different in its individual approach to the world, all 3 of them are emotional, intuitive and ruled by their feelings and heart. Water signs can intuit each other and can often read each other's mind like a book. They have a strong need for emotional security that is an overriding factor of their life. They also have a need for intimacy in a relationship which some of the elements lacks. Although most water signs are complex and moody, they have an essential intuitive basis for understanding each other. Such a deep affinity makes this a good combination.

My dreadful MSN list

The more I look, the more fed up I got and I finally decided to do something about my messy and long msn contact list. A big summer clear-out of all the deadwood. Different people have different views on the purposes of a MSN contact list, so I have mine too and it is to chat and keep in touch. But it also mean strictly for those who are worthly of keeping in touch, not some hi-bye friends.

I realized that there are like 132 people on my list pior to clearing. I'm left with just 71 people after clearing so that's one massive clear out. There are difficult decisions too at times, when I see a person's contact, someone I know but I know that person's like rarely chat or talk. Should I delete such a person then? I choosed Yes after deciding that the 9 out of 10 times the person wouldn't chat with me either.

I'm against adding for the sake of adding, I've long decided that unless the person's my real life friend, an important person, he/she is not indepensible. There are times when as many as 60 fellows are online at the same time and none are talking to me or able to talk when I felt like chatting. So........clear them all! If my contact is like invisible to you then why should I even be bothered about keeping yours in the first place?

For all you know, I'm not someone who add ppl to my list like nobody's business or like those typical guys that go around asking girls for their msn.

Lesson Learnt

I learnt a big lesson, never will i be drawn to temptation anymore, never! I regretted everything, I've learnt my lesson - a big lesson. I'm drained out, its dawn and I cant get to sleep. The nightmares are still fresh in my mind. I seriously have no idea how I gonna get myself to the office later on.

Floyd u're dumb....learn from this!

Bitter

I feel EXTREMELY BITTER tonight!

Who are my true friends actually?

Screw this.

Be Contended

Sometimes I feel life throws up too many challenges, endless of them. There are so many things I want that I simply lost count of them at times. Expectations brings greater disappointments especially if the challenge or goal is unfulfilled or not met.

If i set myself a goal of earning 10k per month and zipping around in a BMW by the age of 29 and when the time is nearing or comes I will be very hard up and disappointed of I failed to do it. Similiary if I want the best cell phone and I can't afford it I will be upset too. While it is important to have goals and targets in life, we shouldn't place too much expectations on them, especially unrealistic expectations.

So I decided the best solution is to be contended with what I have. If all I'm earning is 2 or 3k per month so be it, its better than earning 900 or 1k. If I'm single so be it too as I can always enjoy single life that others may not have. If I only have a diploma instead of a PhD so be it too, it doesn't mean I cant get a proper job and lead a good life too. There are so much more examples.

I concluded that being contended with what I have currently makes me happier. There are always choices in life, I believe in that. If you can't have something there is alwys others too choose from. And as expectations get lesser, surprises may just increase. Afterall life always throws up the most surprising moments when we least expects it.

Nice Clip

For those who love tokyo drift, do watch this short movie clip. Turn the volume on too, enjoy it!
You can also click here to watch!

Monday & Jobs





I've never failed to have a perfect night's sleep and wake up feeling extremely great after any Liverpool victory, especially those against rivals like Manure, Chelski and Everton. In fact I slept so well and much that I got a sore neck this morning.

I figured out that my sleeping routine has been consistent for at least a week - getting to bed by 1am and waking up by 9.30am. It's been like such a long time I had no late nights and I could see this routine is doing my eyes some good. Eye bags and dark rings to be exact. All this makes it a refreshing Monday morning minus the blues.

Recently I've been getting quite a few job offers over the net such as emails, friendster, nightlife and so on. Flattering considering I'm still only 2 weeks into my holidaying period and the damn NS letter has yet to arrive. Much as I would consider some of the offers, I really hate and I have this phobia about talking over the phone. Anything to do with phones I dread it. People who knows me knows the reason. And as we know, most of them would leave their contacts and I'm supposed to get to them or something. This kills off any chances of getting the job, really. Perhaps one day I might conquer my fears but its by no means a child's play to say the least. For now I'd just see what's on offer on the table and decide if thats the kind of job I really want.

Talking about the ns letter, I heard from afew guys that CMPB is a really fuck up organisation and I'm starting to have some belief in that statement. E-mailed them last Thursday with regards to whats taking so long for the letter and explaining my dilenma. Got no reply right up to now. I'm going to bomb them with mails if things don't improve. I don't fucking care if its a government organization because precisely its a government organization that it should be efficient in performing its duties.

Demanding Singaporeans

I happened to caught a preview of the upcoming local movie "Singapore Dreaming" while catching a show yesterday. The preview itself moved me, and a particular line caught my eye: "You singaporean are always complaining about how tough your life is...". Ironically it happened to be national day as well.

It makes so much sense to say we are always unsatisfied with what we have, always demanding something more. You strike a 3rd prize in 4D and then as soon as the delirium sinks in you start to dream of striking the top prize, toto or other jackpot. You get a simple car like a Corolla and then soon you get unsatisfied and want a Rx-8. You live in a 5 room HDB flat with accessibe transports but soon you want more, in the shape of a condo or private housing.

Its fair to say no amount of riches can satisfy most people, Singaporeans especially. We often make so much noises about how stressful the exams are, how tiring working is, how pathetic the salary is. But in truth its really quite a bed of roses. Just think, most of us are well fed and provided with education and basically everything basic until we're done with education. We don't have to work and feed ourselves while trying to juggle with our studies or work unlike more unfortunate ones. So whats with the complaining? Its just that we're sinful and greedy enough that we don't appreciate the spoon that is feeding us.

Typical Singaporeans are often obsessed with the 5 Cs - car, cash, credit, condo, country club. This is understandable because while one should have ambitions and goals to aim for in life, one shouldnt be blindly focused on one direction in life. I'm no better, personally I want at least 3 of the 5 Cs. But to make me choose between these Cs and happiness I'd go for the latter.

Different mindsets would make different chooices and for some, glory and power is tops on their life priority list. But to be overly greedy, obsessed, neglecting integrity doesn't sounds right.

I wanna be a Skinhead (botak)!

Wow time certainly flies its been 6 days since I blog my last entry. I know there are souls who do read my blog but I'm not too sure how many of these souls would actually miss my blogging. Haha that sounds a little thick skin but just can't help wondering. Blah!

I finally kicked a ball after such a long time that I actually felt great under the heat and sun. Nearly all the guys are skin heads now, serving their terms for the government what else but ns. Thus they keep asking when's my turn and tease about my hair -_-! Usually most people dread going to ns but somehow I can't wait for my turn to arrive. Maybe I sound scarastic but its true. Make no mistake, I don't like going ns but I just wanna this out of the way. I mean sooner or later still have to go so why not now? Afterall, this is my long overdue bloody term that I still owe the country. I'm 23 now man....dang! Oh god please send me that bloody enlistment letter please!

Talking about age, I certainly feel alot younger than my actual age. I don't look that age either and the people I hang out with are all around 20s or 21s so I guess that should be my actual age. This age thing can really irritate the crap outta me. Especially when people say things like "huh? ur 23?! u don't look like....i thought ur 19 or 20!!" So yeah yeah I know I look alot younger but whats the problem with that? I just have more youth and its not like my mind's that of a kid. Some people can be like 25 and their brains are those of a 17 18 year old. Brain's more important than looks isn't it?