Monday, September 11, 2006
Whatever doesn't kills makes me stronger

If Saturday was bad enough then Sunday was a gone case. Everything went well initially, I went for my usual Sunday soccer and was having lots of fun under the hot sun. A high ball then came. I jumped for it with another guy, trying to punch it away. The force of the ball was quite strong and together with the impact of a human head nearly and almost blown my tiny finger off. The next thing I knew, I was spawling on the floor screaming and crouching in unbearable pain. I feared for the worse because as the ball touches my finger, I had heard and felt a bone giving way - a cracking sound + feeling.

As I slowly opened up my palms, I was horrified to see my finger twisted awkwardly. Kelvin and Chinwai drove me to the nearesr hospital that is Alexandra hospital which ironically was my place of birth in 1983. I never knew that 23 years 3mths later I would be back to mend my finger back.

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my hand when i just reached the hospital

We got to the A&E (accident & emergency) unit and I was horrified to find the place crowded. I was like..."what? do I have to queue up?!?". The receptionist asked me to register and I immediately made my feelings clear to her. "Look, this is an emergency, what if the waiting time causes my finger to deoriate beyond cure? Are u able to compensate me a finger?"

I could sense her displeasure but she reluctantly allowed me to go in straight for treatment with Kelvin helping wih my registration and other shits at the counter. I was brought to the ICU (intensive care unit) and told to lie down on the bed and WAIT while the doc comes to me. WTF?! Being in unbearable pain is 1 thing, waiting and risking my finger getting worse is another thing!

Eventually the doctor came and asked me all sorts of stupid questions like my name, age, occupation, how I hurt my hand and drug allergy etc. Then they gave me 3 jabs with 2 of them going to my butt. First time in my life I took an injection on my ass! Those were supposed to be painkillers but it seem useless and only makes my butt even painful! I was then sent in for an x-ray to determine my bone condition.

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x-ray showing the fractured finger

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painkillers making my finger bloated, man the jabs were horrible

It was a huge relief to hear the doctor say my result showed that I was very lucky not to have totally broken the joint. A slightly harder impact would have totally smashed my finger. But still the fracture was quite bad. He said he would inject another 2 doses of painkillers into my finger and then use the pulling method to try straightening my finger back into position.

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okiee...for now

Everything seem fine after he wrapped it up and I was told to go for another x-ray to see if the joint has been straighten back. That is where all the nightmare began. First, I seem to have an unknown drug allergy that cases my eye area to swell up and the second x-ray showed that the bone is still twisted out of position. That means I would require an operation to insert metal bars into my finger as well as lots of jabs to cure and stop my allergy.

Took another 2 jabs before being sent to a ward. I was totally numb and weak by then. And yet when I reached my ward, a doctor came along and asked me all sorts of funny questions again. I got really pissed and shouted something like "can u not ask stupid questions Im fucking tired cant u see?" Everyone in the ward looked at my bed. I was too tired to care anyway and luckily the doctor just recorded down some shits and left. At this time, kelvin and chinwait had left as they had camp or something urgent.

Dad, Mum and my Bro came later on at night. I was told I would probably have an operation that night or early morning the next day. As they were unsure when the operation was to be held, I was not allowed to eat or drink anything! Fuck, I had only eaten a pathetic chicken pie in the morning and I was like starving horribly yet they refuse to even let me drink a slip of water!

I spent the night looking at friends and relatives of other patients visiting them. At that moment, I felt pathetic. I felt like a deserted piece of junk. I had wished she'd be here to see me even for a minute I'd be very happy but she didn't. I was disappointed but i guess she must have her reason. Quite alot of friends knew about my condition but most were like can't be bothered or something. I knew at that moment who I should visit in hospital and who I shouldn't. My heart was filled with harted and disappointment. Thanks to Kelvin, Joey, Carol and Kate especially, I felt better. Their words filled my heart with warmt. In fact, Kate was the only one who said would be coming down to visit me the next day despite having an exam the next day or something. I couldn't have felt more appreciated. And Kelvin too, for all the troubles i gave him. Im really thankful.

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no food and drinks!!!!

After dad, mom and bro left, I slept like a log with an empty stomach until midnight when a nurse woke me up. She told me I'd be having the operation at that moment. Weak from hunger, I dragged myself onto the floor and changed into the operation vest, something like an apron. Man it was fucking cold alright, without even an underwear on. I shivered as the nurse guide me into the operation theatre. The moment I stepped in, I started shivering as the place was even colder than the ward. The had to put double blankets on me and place a heater beside my bed.

Again, the nurses and surgeons took turns to talk to me when in fact their motive was to calm me down. As they push me into the main operating room, I recalled my first 2 operations when I was like 10 or 11. I recalled struggling and screaming back then. I also recalled the incidents where Jamie Carragher and Dijibil Cisse broke their legs. I knew theirs was worse than mine and yet they fought through the pain barrier to be fit again. I has the motivation now.

2 More jabs and soon I blacked out under the operation table.

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after the operation

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been drinking this for the whole night

I woke up at 6am. It was like the operation never took place at all. But as I tried to move my left arm, I felt numb and couldn't lift my arm! I turned on the lights and saw my hand being wrapped up. I felt a deep pain in my upper chest. A nurse came along and explained that they had totally numb-ed the left part of my body to prevent me from feeling any pain during the operation and that it would require time before i finally regain my strength.

Breakfast tastes heavenly although in reality the food sucks. Hevenly probably because I haven eaten or drank anything for more than 19 hours. I swear the steak I ate during lunch was the longest one I ever took to finish up. I had to cut the bloody thick meat with only 1 hand! The nurses did ask if I wanted them to feed me but I decline their offer.

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french toast for breakfast, steak for lunch

An x-ray and a theraphy session later, I was told I could be discharged but would have to be back on Thursday for another check up and theraphy session. I would also require another operation to remove the metal bars in my hand in 6 weeks' time.

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during theraphy, cant really see the stitches but can see the metal bars sticking out...

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my bed

I headed down to queensway shopping centre and bought a new pair of soccer boots for next Sunday's match. I was just glad I was given the green light to play but with a protective cast on my hands.


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Football isn't about life and death, its much more important than that - Bill Shankly.

It felt so warm the moment I stepped back home but I had difficulty bathing with only 1 hand with the injured hand wrapped up in a plastic bag to avoid being in contact with water. Someone bath me please?

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bathing with 1 hand?!

I learnt alot of lessons during my short stay at the hospital. The hospital can be such a lonely and cold place to be. I'm no longer terrified of needles having taken like 13 jabs there. I vow to come back stronger, I vow that I would come back more heartless. A big thanks to those who showered me with kindess and warmth encouraging words, you know who you are. Can't thank you guys enough.

My finger is still in pain, I'm still on painkillers and I can hardly move my arm but I'm grateful I din't have to cut off my finger or something like that! Touch wood!!
posted by mango at 3:53 PM

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