I'm in a hurry to go out for my NYE programs but least let me wish everyone who's reading this a....

A blink of the eye



Time certainly flew this year, I checked the date today and got a little surprise that its already the 30th of December. But it seem to me that x'Mas hasn't even took place and that December hasn't even came. Am I lagging behind time?

This year's festive period certainly lack spirits and the aura that usually comes with it. x'Mas seem like any other day and the days leading up to new year eve is plainly just like any other normal days. To think that last year I was all too excited about x'Mas, the countdown parties and so on. How much difference a year makes, its engrossing!

At this point of the year, many of us would be writing up wish-lists and new year resolutions but and having done so last year, I decided to give these lists a miss this time round. Reason being that I see it a pointless thing to do as I wouldn't be really working towards these lists or resolutions. How many of us can actually say we worked hard all year to make sure we acheive the resolution or targets we set ourselves at the beginning of the year? As time passes by we almost definitely forgot about them so what's the point of writing them?

Nevertheless I did acheived some of my resolutions set last year. I did smoke alot lesser this year, I've learnt to say NO when the need to arises, I've got myself a lovely gf and I've also completed my education for now.

I have certainly changed alot this year as well. Its only when I got attached again after 8 months recently that I realized how materialistic I've becomed in the space of less than 12 months. The world I'm living in now is all about luxury, fine food, clothings, cars, wine, and even the places I go. I still find myself indulging in the simple world but most of the time I find myself attached to the world of luxury. Is this a good or bad change?

This is a little part extracted from dear's blog and it certainly makes me think hard...

"...i felt like i was living in his higher world of standards, brands, materials.. and i was sturggling badly to live.. thn i asked myself.. if i can choose to live.. in this 2 world..

1) a high standard of living with rich asses, branded stuffs, nice cars, expensive daily lifestyles and get envied by almost everyone ard u..

2) a carefree life, with no worries over luxury, plain simple being ourselves and enjoying life as we are living it.. public transports.. simple foods from coffee shops or foodcourts..

which wil i choose?"

I believe its good in terms of ambitions and that being a guy I've got to set my sights high and certainly this comes with age. I can't possibly be thinking the same way and wanting the same things each and every year could I? There have got to be a time I want more and better things and this only goes to show I'm progressing and growing up.

On the darker side I guess it does puts a strain on others around me like my loved ones. Just like how my gf's gonna stress over being unable to live up to my expectations or living in my world.

In fact, the problems we've highlighted out so far have all been about such material issues. On one hand I'm contended to have a gf who doesn't demands alot and is happy with the simplier things in life but on the other hand I want her to be a pricess piece of diamond that stands out from the rest as well. Maybe its due to the fact that I'm a person who cares about image alot. I hate to admit it but its true. I do care about what others think of me and the people around me even though I know I shouldn't be caring too much about such stuffs.

I would like to think I've gone up 1 step in the 'life ladder' in 2006. As for the coming year, strangely I've got zero feelings or impression about it, much to my own surprise. Perhaps its due to the fact that I know I'd be serving the bloody army for the entire year. But at least I have the consolation of knowing that I've someone to tide through this ordeal with me.

Seriously Fucked Up!

I seriously need a change in fortunes so will someone please give me some holy water to bath with?! Here's why.......

Fucked Up NS
Fucked Up H/P Connection
Fucked Up C.Card bills
Fucked Up Life

I'm really going insane soon! The worst issue's got to be the NS shite. First they told me to report to cmpb at 8am on tues which I did along with the others. There, we were made to wait and wait and wait before eventually posted to other camps. I got MID (ministry of defence) and I swear the place is like a mountain, u really have to climb up to get to the place on foot! There, the fucked up officer told 2 of us to come back at 8am the next day which is today.

I woke up late this morning so I had to run like a mad man up that mountain and was late by 30minutes. First thing the fucked up officer said to me was: "sit here and wait". Wait and wait and wait and then I went down to get 'interviewed' by some other officer. Then I was made to wait and wait again. The next thing hit me hard. The fucked up officer gave me a slip of paper containing a map of air force school. I was told to report there by 12pm. WTF I thought I was being posted here and he was supposed to give me my duties and not make me waste my time waiting and travelling? Nevertheless I kept my unhappiness and just get on with it.

Reached AFS and when the officer took me in, I got another big shock - wrong camp!! She told me I was supposed to go to this fucking god knows wat camp near my place! WHAT THE FUCK?! Its one thing travelling from jurong to bt panjiang and then to payar lebar air base but its another thing travelling all the way back to some shite camp in the west and all these in a single day?! Fcuking hell I got really pissed off by so I asked if I can go tomorrow instead and luckily they agree. It was really fucked up there as majority of the staff and personels there are female and I think I became some joke of the day figure. The worst thing was that I had virtually NOTHING to do there. Imagine sitting on a desk for 4 hours staring into space? I wasn't allowed to do anything or go anywhere but sit there until 5pm!!! FUCK! I ended up reading the entire straits times newspaper!

Making matters worse was my fucking m1 connection. Its gone bonkers or something there are days where the network can be down for more than 24hrs! Its fucking inconvenient like on x'Mas eve when I went to meet Owen and suddenly the network went dead! I couldnt contact him and he couldn't contact me! I had no choice but to borrow a phone from some stranger to call him. When I call fucking M1 to check, all they told me was "bring ur phone down to service center". Yeah right, some fucking helpdesk hotline they have! Of all my friends and family members using M1 line, I'm the only one affected! How unlucky could I get?

Adding to my woes, credit card bills totalled over 800 bucks came today. Sigh! I need a change of luck don't I?

I'm Back!

But I bet nobody misses me? Actually I'm dead beat but somehow I still feel the need to blog! Its been hell being unable to touch my laptop! Lots of shit to say and share but I guess I'd just summarise everything up in words and pictures.

Firstly I guess I did quite well in keeping that temper of mine in check except for one occassion where I got totally pissed, snapped and threw the whole clothes hanger at someone. That aside I think I did quite well because in most of the siutation, the normal Floyd would have totally snapped and god knows what's gonna happen. Those who know me or have even seen or experienced it themselves knows it best.

Then I guess I've also came out mentally stronger. There's this poster that really inspired me, on it was this quote: "To overcome ur fears is to be exposed to them".

Of course the bed, food, toilets and most of the basic needs sucks. I didn't even had a blanket on the 1st night and my bloody bed was right beside a window that's broken. And as well all know, its been raining cats and dogs for like god-knows-how-many-days. So every night I've got to put up with rain water dripping on me while sleeping. In fact I wouldn't sleep on the 1st night at all, it was just so uncomfortable and miserable I stayed awake right until 3.30am before dozing off and woke up at 5am feeling shagged like hell.

There was also this incident where by all those people from bed 6 in the 4 different bunk/rooms got strange 'knocks' on their window in the middle of the last night on thursday. When we opened the window to check, there wasn't anything or anyone there. It could never be a human knocking for sure because its not some corridor window.

Anyway I guess I'm a lucky fellow, I've got my grandma, uncle, dad and darling sending me off and then darling cooked fried rice for me upon my release on friday night. It was so sweet of her and that's the first time anyone actually cooked something and 'ta bao' it for me. I appreciate it totally because I know cooking isn't an easy chore and there's alot of efforts put in. So even though I was already dead full thanks to the wholemeal-dinner I had, I still managed to finish nearly all of it. Partly it was also because it tastes nice :D


Darling & me before boarding the ferry


The long road ahead......


The short journey but miserable journey


First sight of that dreaded 'Island'






Oath taking cenemory


Spot me?


The view from my company block


My bunk


Guess what's this?


Its our table -_-!


Playing 'risk' during free time


My bed 6


Falling in before departure


Back to the jetty.....finally!


My bunkmates with the exception of a wierdo haha

And I know u guys must be asking where is that exclusive picture of my latest hairstyle right?! RIGHT? Its really exclusive u know, it takes only $2 and 43seconds to cut. Cheapest and fastest hairstyle ever! So exclusive it shall remain, lucky ones will get to see it because seriously I haven taken a single picture of my stylo-milo head yet, rofl :D

Many thanks to those who sent me text messages to wish me well etc. I appreciate it, and its good to know there are people who care. U guys know who u are. Thanks!

The words we said at the bridge

The circle made out of fallen leaves we stood in

The hugs and kisses we gave and shared

The warmth of your love

All right under the silent moonlight

They mean so much to me

Thank you for re-coloring my world

Thank you for making me believe in it once again

I love u

15.12.06

My world is black

Don't even mention or ask me about milkshake, it was such a disaster on a personal note. I won't say why, a disaster is a disaster and what's past is already past so there isn't any point in talking about it. It doesn't turn back time. So my last party before I serve the bloody government for 2 years was never going according to the script I wrote. If I'd known better I'd have stayed at home instead.

I admit I'd never win a popularity contest but I expect my friends to treat me with some respect and face sometimes. I vividly remembered all the parties before the everyone's enlistment, pop dates and so on. Enough said isn't it?

As I drove on aimlessly around the entire island on sunday evening, the empty passenger seat beside me struck me that perhaps I should be destined to have an empty passenger seat for good. Maybe its already written in the stars that I should be a lone ranger this life. I don't quite believe in it though, I believe I've got my destiny in my own hands. I'm going to change it!

I'm going to take a long break from parties and this world of posers. Suddenly I feel very tired about blogging as well. I mean, what can I blog about? My daily life? Am I suppposed to blog about what I do every min at home? My nightlife? There isn't any. My friends? Don't even mention that word! Parties? Thats' a forgone conclusion. Relationships? Don't have one either.

ZzZzZzZz I'm such a sadist!

The Hatred Within

Ψ→Ïčұ ЄάяσŁ Ĺίή₫ęţĥϊęĿ←Ψ°ºo][Oº° SurrealisticDream.Blogspot.Com ºo][Oº says:
the inital floyd i know
Ψ→Ïčұ ЄάяσŁ Ĺίή₫ęţĥϊęĿ←Ψ°ºo][Oº° SurrealisticDream.Blogspot.Com ºo][Oº says:
has changed into something that is different

These 2 sentences really caught my mind and heart. As I ponder over the words, it occured to me that I have indeed changed.

Gone are the days where Floyd is also known as Mr Nice Guy, where everyone is being treated the in the same nice manner. These days, I'm more like double standards. Not everyone would be treated the same way. I thought long and hard for the reason(s). I came to a conclusion finally - hatred.

I've got so much hatred and jealousy in my heart over so many things, from relationships to girls to friends to material issues. I used to be nice and treat everyone the same. But what do I gain? People either take you for granted or mistreat you. I got so fed up of it that one day I told myself I won't be nice to everyone anymore. It's cruel, heartless and selfish but how I treat a person is also the way he/she treated me.

I feel so much hatred in my heart even though I know its not right. Many would say that letting go of the hatred would do me good but I beg to differ. The hatred and jealousy I have inside me will only spur and motivate me to great heights and acheive my goals. I'm a person who relys on such motivation to fire me up. And its only when I'm really fired up for something that I would be hell bent on acheiving something.

Why are there so much hatred in my heart? It all came from humans treatments! Even your closest pals does gives u hurtful and biased treatment sometimes.

Having said that, I know to whom I should be nice and to whom I shouldn't be so nice. But I'm always a fair person, before judgement I would always treat people nicely. I can be really nice you know, just ask those who've tasted heavenly like treatment from me. But its a choice, not a chore and sadly I choosed to decide whom to give the best treatment to.

You know, it simply does not pay to be nice, people are often schemming, cunning, selfish and wear masks. I used to expect nothing in return for being nice but the more I got pushed towards, my limits, the further that thinking fades.

It's just like how girls prefer bad boys. The bad guys often wins and the nice ones ends up empty handed. Note that I say often so it does not necessary mean all girls are like this. Yes I'm jealous too when I see a good looking girl with a fucking ugly punk on the streets. I got so fucking jealous that I swore I'd turn myself into something irresistible within 2 years. I won't be at this level and when I do stepped up onto another level, I will jolly well remember clearly who are those who gave me shite in the past.

Feelings aside, could a girl resist someone whose good looking, has the 3 Cs (car, cash, credit) and lots of personality? Fuck! They can't! That's the fucking bottomline! That's what drives me on when it comes to this issue about girls.

I no longer find being called Mr Nice Guy appealing anymore. I'd rather be Mr Bad Guy and be happy. I don't believe in destiny being controlled by the people above the skies. I believe each and everyone of us has our own destiny in our hands. We ourselves decide our own destiny. But we can't probably sit down and expect a miracle to happen either. Dreams come true only when u work for it and hatred is what makes me work for it!

I'm blunt? Yeah I'm really blunt and straight-forward that's me, like it or not. If ur gonna hide everything in ur blog u might as well write a hand-written diary instead.