The Hatred Within

Ψ→Ïčұ ЄάяσŁ Ĺίή₫ęţĥϊęĿ←Ψ°ºo][Oº° SurrealisticDream.Blogspot.Com ºo][Oº says:
the inital floyd i know
Ψ→Ïčұ ЄάяσŁ Ĺίή₫ęţĥϊęĿ←Ψ°ºo][Oº° SurrealisticDream.Blogspot.Com ºo][Oº says:
has changed into something that is different

These 2 sentences really caught my mind and heart. As I ponder over the words, it occured to me that I have indeed changed.

Gone are the days where Floyd is also known as Mr Nice Guy, where everyone is being treated the in the same nice manner. These days, I'm more like double standards. Not everyone would be treated the same way. I thought long and hard for the reason(s). I came to a conclusion finally - hatred.

I've got so much hatred and jealousy in my heart over so many things, from relationships to girls to friends to material issues. I used to be nice and treat everyone the same. But what do I gain? People either take you for granted or mistreat you. I got so fed up of it that one day I told myself I won't be nice to everyone anymore. It's cruel, heartless and selfish but how I treat a person is also the way he/she treated me.

I feel so much hatred in my heart even though I know its not right. Many would say that letting go of the hatred would do me good but I beg to differ. The hatred and jealousy I have inside me will only spur and motivate me to great heights and acheive my goals. I'm a person who relys on such motivation to fire me up. And its only when I'm really fired up for something that I would be hell bent on acheiving something.

Why are there so much hatred in my heart? It all came from humans treatments! Even your closest pals does gives u hurtful and biased treatment sometimes.

Having said that, I know to whom I should be nice and to whom I shouldn't be so nice. But I'm always a fair person, before judgement I would always treat people nicely. I can be really nice you know, just ask those who've tasted heavenly like treatment from me. But its a choice, not a chore and sadly I choosed to decide whom to give the best treatment to.

You know, it simply does not pay to be nice, people are often schemming, cunning, selfish and wear masks. I used to expect nothing in return for being nice but the more I got pushed towards, my limits, the further that thinking fades.

It's just like how girls prefer bad boys. The bad guys often wins and the nice ones ends up empty handed. Note that I say often so it does not necessary mean all girls are like this. Yes I'm jealous too when I see a good looking girl with a fucking ugly punk on the streets. I got so fucking jealous that I swore I'd turn myself into something irresistible within 2 years. I won't be at this level and when I do stepped up onto another level, I will jolly well remember clearly who are those who gave me shite in the past.

Feelings aside, could a girl resist someone whose good looking, has the 3 Cs (car, cash, credit) and lots of personality? Fuck! They can't! That's the fucking bottomline! That's what drives me on when it comes to this issue about girls.

I no longer find being called Mr Nice Guy appealing anymore. I'd rather be Mr Bad Guy and be happy. I don't believe in destiny being controlled by the people above the skies. I believe each and everyone of us has our own destiny in our hands. We ourselves decide our own destiny. But we can't probably sit down and expect a miracle to happen either. Dreams come true only when u work for it and hatred is what makes me work for it!

I'm blunt? Yeah I'm really blunt and straight-forward that's me, like it or not. If ur gonna hide everything in ur blog u might as well write a hand-written diary instead.