When failure means feedback

There's always something or at least a factor that seperates the successful from others who simply failed to be what they aspire to be or acheive. I believe that crucial factor is the way we deal with failures. They say that the most successful people experiences the most failures. I see alot of truth in that. Afterall, a toddler/child have to fall many times before he eventually learns how to walk on his feets.

There are at least 3 ways in which people usually deal with failures.



Do u find your 'yes' often followed with a 'but'? Do u find yourself sometimes saying things like "I'm not good enough", "I don't have the luck", "It's just impossible", "I'm too fat", "I've tried it before, it just wouldn't work!"?

One of the most common thing people love to do when they don't get what they want is to cough up excuses, blame everyone and everything else but himself and then simply give up after feeling entirely helpless and frustrated. They either lack confidence, do not see the larger picture or ain't determined enough. They will resign themselves to their goal being out of reach and live a life of mediocrity.



Then there are those who have more determination than the first group and when they don't get what they want, they simply try again and again until they get it. Some succeed, others don't. Usually the ones who succeed are those whose goals ain't that big or exceptional.

It's good to think "I failed because I did not try hard enough" or "If i keep trying, I will eventually succeed". But it's not really the most ideal way of doing things. It's just like a salesperson who put in more energy and time each month and yet still fail to significantly increase their sales.

The problem probably doesn't lies with his determination, rather it lies with his way of doing things. They probably keep targeting the wrong customers, selling the same products and making similiar and ineffective presentations. Pretty soon they start becoming disillusioned thinking that their hardwork isn't paying off and quit eventually.

Ever came across people who say things like "I've bla bla bla years of experience, so don't tell me what to do".



So what's the pattern that all successful individuals exhibit? Well when they fail or don't succeed, they don't think of it as a failure. Instead, they simply perceive it as feedback. Feedback on where they went wrong or what needed to be done or feedback that the strategy they used was ineffective. They then use this feedback to immediately change their strategy and take action again.

If they stil don't succeed, they willl get more feedback, change their strategy and take action again. In other words, they keep repeating this action and do whatever it takes to get what they want.

It's probably a tiring process with lots of efforts and hardwork but if we couldn't make scarifices and isn't willing to go an extra mine, then we will never succeed. If a property agent wants to make more profits and sales, then he/she must be prepared to work late into nights, or even give up his/her weekends just to make it happen isn't it?

This is also probably why many times we see the so call 'smart kids' who always score well and high marks in school getting lesser paid jobs than the 'quiet and dumb' kid.

It's not how good your grades are or how wealthy a family ur borned in, it's about how we perceive failure.

I've got a perfect example here:

"Quite sometime ago, I failed over 8 consecutive advance theory driving test in a row. It's naturally embarassing and I got disgusted with myself. I took the first 3 or 4 tests after doing some self-studying on my own using the advance theory of driving handbook. By the 4th or 5th attempt, I got disgunted because I still keep failing even though I studied throughly the whole book.

So 1 day I decided to surf the net and found some old theory questions and decided to print them all out and took it as a mock test. I went for my next 2 or 3 tests and still failed.

Then I decided to enrol as a school candidate and went for mock theory tests practices and several 'practice tests' using the computers at the driving centre.

The next and very first attempt I took the test as a school candidate, I passed it at first attempt.

I looked back at the date I took my first every advance theory test and got a shock. I was more than a year. I had taken more than a year to pass a freaking advance theory test!

But it doesn't matters now coz I'm a qualified driver, does it?"