I'm a lonely and boring person

Both the bitch and the other officers are out and after contemplating hard I decide I should stay on and leave only when its closer to 5pm. Didn't wanna risk it even though it's so fucking boring here and even with msn it didn't seem to get any better. So I decided to do what I know best - writing a blog!

It's so demoralising to know u have like over 150 friends on ur msn list and hardly able to get anyone to start a decent conversation with or keep a conversation going. I find it hard to answer people when they say something like: "ask ur friends to go out with u loh, u have alot of friends right?".

While it's true I do have alot of friends, it's not right to say I can easily get someone to chat with me or even go out with me. It's so damn hard at times it's hard to believe for many people of there. I guess people see me as the kind of person who is averagely (does such a word exist?) popular and always surrounded by people. True it may be but accquitances and close friends represents a totally different meaning altogether. I guess people failed to realize this.

Getting back to the conversation topic, I feel I'm quite a boring person who often talk, do or ask the same stuffs. Maybe this is why I often couldn't keep a conversation going. But its really wierd, sometimes I find I could talk for hours with people but other times I simply ran out of words to say and worst still I didn't even feel like thinking of what to say to spice up the conversation.

I admit I'm not a good talker like some, don't have a sense of humour, I'm always dull and boring. Maybe that's why I don't attract the hottest girls, they like guys who can talk really well isn't it. I'm actually quite a creative person I feel but when it comes to talking I just ran out of topics or ideas. I can't change this aspect of me either, u can't change something u're borned with right? I can't possibly wake up the next day and suddenly able to entertain a crowd. So I guess I've to live with what I have, the most I could do is to improvise it.

Sometimes, like today I feel extremely bored and loneliness certainly creep in. You feel like sms-ing someone but u have no idea who to sms and what to sms. You feel like chatting with someone but scrolling through ur msn list, u realized there ain't anyone u could talk to. You feel like going out to shop or just hang around but u know no matter who u ask ur gonna get "NO" slammed right up your face.

Reality is harsh but people just don't realize how harsh it can be.