The devil within



Heed the warning signs, don't piss me off. When I snap, it's something u can never conceptualize. Flamboyant characters often comes with a temper, I'm no different. Whenever I snap, I feel my body and mind being taken over by another person, a devish soul. Throughout the years though I've become something of an inactive volcano (damn I cant rem what's that word used to describe inactive volcanoes).

I don't flare up as easily as before anymore, I've learnt how to manage my anger and temper. My ferocious temper have gotten me into more troubles than I had wished for and cost me a relationship as well. Honestly I can never curb my temper completely because I'm simply borned with it and if u take it away then it's no longer the original me. They say a guy with a temper is manly but they also say too much of it is bad. Hence being moderate's the most ideal solution but I don't know if I've curb down my temper enough to be termed as moderate though.

Today I almost snapped, and if it was 6 or 7 years back I would have really snapped. I'm just not the type of person who fancy being ordered around. I don't care if it's work or serving ns really, no rules said I'm supposed to be kicked around like a soccer ball. I don't like being asked to do things when I'm already aware that I'm supposed to do it anyway. And when even my boss doesn't have a reason to order me around, whats more a superior officer?

I hate meetings especially those whereby afterwards the entire table will be filled with cups, glasses, leftover snacks etc. And being the so call 'lowest rank' person Im supposed to clear all these shit and wash the dishes? Hey FUCK U alright, since when I'm the dishwasher? Which part of my vocation said I'm supposed to wash dishes? Got so mad this evening when I'm ready to get my ass outta office and was asked to clear up the mess. I didn't snap, I came close to and anyone could have told from my face that I was in a fiery mood and u wouldn't fancy poking another word that could really burst the bubble I swear.

Pissed off but yet able to THINK before I act, I simply did it my way - dumping all the cups, glasses, plates etc into the sink and off I went. I didn't care if I broke any of the glasses I didn't care they were unwashed. And I'm NOT going to wash them tomorrow either if they are still unwashed. Damn it what fucking nonsense is this NS about? I have to wash dish, serve water etc? I'm a waiter uh? Even waiters get paid more than this pathetic ns allowance.

I don't expect things to go my way all the time in life, but I just cannot stand people trying to order me around. People say in NS ur a slave, just serve finish ur 'sentence' and fuck off or simply just act blur. Although there's a point in both, I still stand by my own motto of standing up for myself. If I don't stand up for myself, who is going to stand up for me?

Makes sense? I bet it did!