I feel lousy



Today is a really a day to forget. Right from the moment I opened my eyes at 5.30am I've been feeling so damn lousy ever since. I couldn't focus at work, showed my black face all day long, threw all sorts of attitudes and almost snap twice. There's something bothering me, I can't for sure say it out directly, I can't.

But it's like you know, within such a short space of time, things can change so much. It can make such a big difference. Yes I certainly know it and I hate feeling this kind of blues, it's so bothering and worst part is I can't seem to do anything about it. This world is funny beyond doubt sometimes, what's seem so nice and exciting today could turn out to be funeral tomorrow.

For so many months my door remained shut and when I opened it a little, I got a rotten egg slammed right in my face. I'm sick and scared of it, I don't wanna open my door anymore for the foreseeable future. It hurts.

I hate my instincts and 6th senses sometimes, they are ever so accurate and rarely lets me down. Sometimes it's not a matter of thinking too much, rather its like the writing is already on the wall. I knew it I knew it, I knew what was coming and yet I can't do anything about it. I feel so damn miserable now I don't even feel like going to the party tomorrow anymore, afterall I don't have anyone to go with. Going out isn't about the place sometimes it's about whom u go with that matters.

Sigh, somewhere down there I feel kinda painful and it shouldn't even have happened at all. Absence makes presence significant but I guess I'm just an insignificant one.