Wednesday, September 19, 2007
The Institute of Marriage
On Sunday, I was lazing on my sofa crouch watching the Belgium F1 race when Claris dropped me an sms: "hey your pen pal is getting married". I began digging through my mind as to what pen pal I have or rather who is she refering to? It just happen to be that Claris was one of the very few people who actually know I write letters to different pen pals back then in 1996 and 1997 where IRC hadn't even come into age let alone msn. Turn out that it was her cousin's sister who was getting married. I know both the cousin and his sister of course. It did came to my mind that it was another young person getting wed, young as in being around my age.
Then, yesterday afternoon while surfing the SAF forums in office, a topic caught my eye. It was about how a guy who thought of giving up the relationship with his girlfriend because he felt he wouldn't be able to give her a good life after marriage. And when I came home, someone was talking to me on msn about saving up for wedding and applying for flats!
The word marriage or wedding have suddenly been heard all too often lately. It seem that people around me are all settling down, and these aren't people who are in their 30s or later 20s. These are people who are around my age or even alot youner. And some of them have eben got their own kids at the tender age of 23 or 22! Suddenly, I couldn't get this question out of my mind? "Will I get married?" Yes I wanna get married but will I? I will definitely hear all the "yes you will!" or "of course" without a doubt. But I really have my own doubts, the reasons are a little too private to be written down in a world wide web though.
All of a sudden, marriage isn't just another verb to me anymore, it seem like a leech sticking to me bugging me until I'm actually the groom myself. I began to think and see how difficult marriage's gonna be, how heavy a responsibility it would be but I always like the idea of having my own kids and giving total commitment to my spouse but right now it's like a little bit of scaring myself because this scenario seem light years away - I haven't even got a career yet and there's no way I will ever consider marriage till my career's taken off. It seem like repeating 2 years in secondary school will forever mean I'm 2 years later than everyone of my generation.
It's really a case of thinking too far as well considering I haven't even got a stable relationship. People, especially my sister have been eager to know when I'm even gonna get a new partner but the fact is I'm really happy with my life right now and there just isn't anyone out there that caught my eye as well. It's not only about expectations it's also about feelings and emotions. And more often than I would have liked, cases of "A likes B but B doesn't likes A, C likes A but A doesn't fancy C" occurs regulary.
As some people would like to phrase it - marriage is a financial death trap which girls dream about but men have to be bullied into. I agree partly but I would rephrase it as: marriage is a stepping stone to a new lease of life, hope and a different kind of joy. Will I get married? Jeeeeez!
2 more days to Bangkok!!
On Sunday, I was lazing on my sofa crouch watching the Belgium F1 race when Claris dropped me an sms: "hey your pen pal is getting married". I began digging through my mind as to what pen pal I have or rather who is she refering to? It just happen to be that Claris was one of the very few people who actually know I write letters to different pen pals back then in 1996 and 1997 where IRC hadn't even come into age let alone msn. Turn out that it was her cousin's sister who was getting married. I know both the cousin and his sister of course. It did came to my mind that it was another young person getting wed, young as in being around my age.
Then, yesterday afternoon while surfing the SAF forums in office, a topic caught my eye. It was about how a guy who thought of giving up the relationship with his girlfriend because he felt he wouldn't be able to give her a good life after marriage. And when I came home, someone was talking to me on msn about saving up for wedding and applying for flats!
The word marriage or wedding have suddenly been heard all too often lately. It seem that people around me are all settling down, and these aren't people who are in their 30s or later 20s. These are people who are around my age or even alot youner. And some of them have eben got their own kids at the tender age of 23 or 22! Suddenly, I couldn't get this question out of my mind? "Will I get married?" Yes I wanna get married but will I? I will definitely hear all the "yes you will!" or "of course" without a doubt. But I really have my own doubts, the reasons are a little too private to be written down in a world wide web though.
All of a sudden, marriage isn't just another verb to me anymore, it seem like a leech sticking to me bugging me until I'm actually the groom myself. I began to think and see how difficult marriage's gonna be, how heavy a responsibility it would be but I always like the idea of having my own kids and giving total commitment to my spouse but right now it's like a little bit of scaring myself because this scenario seem light years away - I haven't even got a career yet and there's no way I will ever consider marriage till my career's taken off. It seem like repeating 2 years in secondary school will forever mean I'm 2 years later than everyone of my generation.
It's really a case of thinking too far as well considering I haven't even got a stable relationship. People, especially my sister have been eager to know when I'm even gonna get a new partner but the fact is I'm really happy with my life right now and there just isn't anyone out there that caught my eye as well. It's not only about expectations it's also about feelings and emotions. And more often than I would have liked, cases of "A likes B but B doesn't likes A, C likes A but A doesn't fancy C" occurs regulary.
As some people would like to phrase it - marriage is a financial death trap which girls dream about but men have to be bullied into. I agree partly but I would rephrase it as: marriage is a stepping stone to a new lease of life, hope and a different kind of joy. Will I get married? Jeeeeez!
2 more days to Bangkok!!
posted by mango at 5:09 AM
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