Left on the shelf



One by one, my friends and people around me are getting hitched, attached, or even married. My lonesome soul stands alone, unconcerned by all that's happening around me. Contrary to popular belief, there are in fact more couples than singles around, around my life at least. Ever the sensitive person I am, there are boundless times I felt as if I'm left on the shelf like an unwanted teddy amongst hundreds of similiar ones on a display shelf in a mall. Three years or so ago I might press the panic button and seek even a temporary solution just for the sake of not wanting to be left behind and be where others are.

Nowadays, those envious feelings generated at the sight of happy couples doesn't even materialize. The thought of getting attached doesn't strikes my mind as often as before. Since the day I learnt to see the bigger pictures, I've seen light at the end of the tunnel and life no longer seem a black and white potrait without love. I haven't turned gay overnight, neither have my heart became frozen. I've just learnt how to differenate between like and love. All too often people fell in love within a short period of time thinking it's love when it wasn't. Thats where all the problems start and thats also where you pick the wrong one. There just isn't a point in rushing love because if people were to develop feelings so easily for nearly everyone they meet then those feelings probably aren't genuine. I find it pretty amusing when I read a SAF forum about a guy posting his relationship problem saying that he feels he's started to like a girl he'd only met once just because they chat and sms daily. How pure can this kind of love be? What kiind of ending is it going to be? I don't forsee anything good coming out of it. Then again I could be wrong because one should never estimate the power of love but 9 out of 10 times in such a situation, it's just like and not love.

When I'm attached, people always say: "new gf again". And when I'm single, people always ask: "where is ur gf"? When I'm attached, people say I've got lots of gfs and when I'm single people aren't having any of it. The truth is that I've been happily getting on with my life for 10 months and in these 10 months I've had some of the best days of my life. I've seen nothing and certainly nobody have been able to convince me that I should get attached. This is what makes love so special actually. Because it would take a really special person to get me to give up all that I've got and get into a relationship. If any Mary, Nancy or Jane could get me to change my mind and love them, then the 'special one' status would not worth much isn't it?

There are of course girls around me whose characters make a perfect gf but when I don't feel anything for them it doesn't makes any sense to woo them. It's like you place a million dollars in front of me asking me to kill my own family member. Much as I would love to take the money, my heart wouldn't allow any of my fingers to get near the money. If I ever remain single all my life, then so be it. Sometimes things are just predestined you've got to accept it but I also know the next time I fall for someone, it would be a very special person and for this reason alone I know I will do all I can to make sure we it would be a timeless affair.

Left on the shelf? Hardly at all, not when life's beautiful.