Knight in Shining Armor Syndrome

They say nearly all females dream of having their own knight in shining armor but the truth is that it's the guys who struggle to resist the urges and temptations of wanting to be the hero and 'save' the girl. I call this the Knight in Shining Armor Syndrome, an actual disorder.

Many times we have seen guys wanting to be what some would term as "Da Nan Ren" in a relationship and would never settle for anything less than that. Guys in general need to feel they are above their girl in a relationship and they all have a Lion's heart in this aspect alone.

Guys who suffer from it have this need to “save” girls who they feel are messed up not realizing that this in fact makes them (the Knights) more messed up. Guys try to save damsels in distress because it makes them feel powerful, in control and manly. Sometimes they are afraid of girls and think they won't be rejected if they fix a woman's problems. They hide their inadequacies behind what looks like strength. They know they don't have their act together, so instead of working on themselves they'd rather work on someone else. Such relationships are doomed to fail because it simply does not work out this way.

Should they open a door, pull out a chair, take a girl's hand when crossing the street or give her their jacket if she's cold? Absolutely. Should they try to save a woman whose life is a mess? They do so at their own peril.

It is also guys' 'thing' of wanting to feel a notch above girls. Some say it's the ego and pride, while others mention the self beliefs. If these guys were really strong, they would not be trying to save someone that appears to be a victim. They don't realize that aside from a few circumstances beyond one's control (acts of God, accidents, disease, etc.) one's position in life is based on who they are on the inside, not someone or something "out there". There is an axiom that says:

There are no victims, only volunteers.

Knights believe that if the woman gets better, she'll become the perfect girlfriend. The only problem is that if she does become healthy, she will not want to be with someone who is so flawed that he tolerated being with a "broken-winged bird". Healthy people do not want to be with unhealthy people. The world is forever a selfish and cold place.

On the other hand, if she doesn't get better, the man will never have the perfect girlfriend because he won't get his needs met. In addition, his fears of an intimate relationship will not be repaired by staying with an inadequate woman. It's a no-win situation.

Maybe one fine day it will be the females who 'rescue' the males but until then, the Knight in Shining Armor Syndrome will continue to exist in every male. It's of little wonder then, that girls often accuse guys of being male chauvinist pigs but they have to realize that it's not like we could help it sometimes. And being girls, it's something more difficult than hunting down Osama Bin Laden.