Nobody's Favourite Teddy

He says.....

....he can't believe he's reached today, still single and unattached. Today marks official 24 months of singlehood for him.

Since the day he 1st got attached back in 1997, he can't remember going through an entire year single. Perhaps 10 months is the most he went through. It's not because he can't live without woman, it's because back then he's still naive, still at the stage of finding out which type suits him most. Hence, he fell in love easily.

Today, the old him no longer exists, he's no longer the naive young man he once was. But who will believe?

In the eyes of the world, he's nothing but a playboy, a person who's always surrouned by girls. People often tell him he's nice, and that he would be able to find someone and so on. But if u ask these people if they would be willing to get into a relationship with him, they wouldn't hesitate in saying no.

He is sick of it.

He's sick of people using the opposite sex as the word that is closest to describing him. He is sick of his guy friends often using him to get girls out. He's sick of people assuming and judging him. Sometimes, he wished he didn't look like how he did. He knows a huge part of the reasons why people make assumptions and accusations on him is because of his looks. Sometimes he wished he was borned ugly or nerdish.

People often ask him where is his gf and when he say he doesn't have one, they often don't believe him. In everyone's eyes, he's always attached all the time. Sometimes when he ask someone out, the person would say something like: "....your other friends leh? thought u have alot of female friends one..."

Very few knows the real him. Even fewer knows he'd never been unfaithful in all his past relationships. Those who knows the real him sings a different tune.

The past 1 year he was single, he fell for a girl. He tried to woo her, but she didn't even gave him a chance to woo her. He thought....perhaps she thinks like the majority. But when she didn't even gave him a chance to prove anything, how would she know if he's really a player or whatever? It was dissapointing. She was the only girl he fell for during the entire year. He gave up fast. It wasn't because she meant little to him. It was because he already knew the answer even though she didn't reject him. He didn't want to push things too hard and lose the friendship.

During the 1 year he was single, life was good. He could do anything and go anywhere he wants. Quarrels and arguments did not exists in his life. He led a happy and carefree life he's happy with. Many times though, he would miss being in a relationship, the special kind of happiness that comes only when a person is in love and being loved in return. He would also get envious when he see couples around him. In the past, he might have gone and find a new gf. But this wasn't the old him, he didn't wanted to find a gf for the sake of finding one. Somehow as he grow older, it is more difficult for anyone to get into his heart.

People often mistaken this as choosy or having high expectations. While he does have his own expectations of his ideal partner, they are by no means high or ridiculous. It's actually very simple in the sense that finding someone who understands the word 'commitment' and yet gives him that special feeling and chemistry is downright difficult. He doesn't believes in finding either, maybe he read too much "once upon a time......happily ever after" when he was young, but he would rather leave it up to fate to surprise him.

Sometime not too long ago, he realized how dearly he miss being in a relationship. He realized he's now willing to open the door he'd shut for a year. He's determined to smash the impression he gives to others for good. He told himself if he'd ever met someone right and special for him and yet is willing to allow him to prove himself, he wouldn't disappoint anyone. That being said, he's not in a rush, he doesn't sets any deadlines either. He believes some things are decided by the one up there.

As he look back at the past 1 year, he looked at the positives more than the negatives. He's grown older when it comes to relationships. The most important thing he found out was the the exact type of partner he wants.

A year spent in the wildness wasn't in vain afterall.