Single-Minded

I actually slept less then 3hours to wake up at 3.30am to cook mee goreng because my stomach was calling for it. Am I mad? Maybe. I can't really sleep anyway, I had woken up at 7pm on Sunday, sleeping at least 13hours. I used the term maybe because I have no idea what time I slept on Saturday. I only know I reached home at about 2.30am and then feeling emotional and awful inside I drank myself drunk with Martell and fell asleep. If I weren't awake at this time then I wouldn't be typing or have typed this entry.

It is not very often I share something private with people and even seldom I share it with a person I've never seen before. But on Friday, I did just that during office hours because I needed to get it off my chest. I wanted a guy's opinion and amongst that I know and are available, there aren't many suitable ones so I asked a friend I know from the MINDEF forums, just someone I chat and gossip with during office hours when we are bored at times. Yes guys do that too, surprised? Anyway I sought his opinion on something about relationship and there was one particular point he said which haven't been able to leave my head since. I can't remember the exact line but I remembered the exact meaning - "be single-mind when it comes to relationships".

Before I go on I shall explain the meaning just in case anyone happens to read this and get the wrong meaning.

single-minded
• adjective concentrating purposefully on one particular thing.
— DERIVATIVES single-mindedly adverb single-mindedness noun.

The reason why I haven't been able to stop thinking of that sentence was because I felt it was so damn correct and that I haven't been doing the correct thing for a long time. Maybe this is why it was so different now and before. In the past when I woo someone I would focus 100% on the task and that person alone. Nowadays it doesn't happen. I don't go 100% out to win someone's heart. I do it bits by bits, hesitate alot and that is probably why the ones I considered have probably not felt anything. I know the reason for this as well - because I had options now whilst I didn't in the past. Now whenever I thought of going after someone I always add in the options. It was my way of making myself feel secure but in the end I will end up with none no matter how many options I had.

That friend had also said being single-minded is a very difficult task that very few guys succeed. His reasons were that guys are always tempted by a moment of lust or folly, resulting in something tragic. He added that no matter how confident one is about a person there are always times of doubts and distraction that sway our attention. Right, it is really difficult but I don't agree with it completely because I've passed this test before successfully.

Being single-minded in relationships is one of the elements for success, I come to realise it. But still, it is not enough because if a girl doesn't fancy me no amount of single-mindness would be able to place me in her heart. I can be single-minded 100% and she'd be my only focus and center of attention but it still wouldn't work. Love is so confusing sometimes........