Fishy Day

God not only plays dice, he throws them in the corner where you can't see them.
Stephen William Hawking


The fishy smell on my fingers and palms stubbornly refuse to extinguish despite washing it with soap for the 3rd time in a row. I had cooked salmon kimchi ramen for lunch. It still seem surreal that I had actually cooked fish, something of a taboo for me. To find myself eating fish is like seeing people eating stuffs like fried bugs, grasshoppers or even raw squids, the first 2 which are considered one of the delicacy of Northern Thailand cusine. Ever since young, my stomach have rejected fish, especially fish skin and the fishy smell like a pretty woman terrifyingly rejecting a wasted man on the verge of throwing up trying to bear hug her.

Despite the constant irritations from my Mum in the form of naggings, I've always managed to stay clear of fish and fish skins. There will still be the odd days I eat fish though, perhaps I was having PMS and my mind wasn't in a stable state. Still, the fish I ate were always rid of fishy smell, like fish & chips, salmon sushi, or fried fish fillet. I've never eaten fish skin for as long as I can remember, that must be like 15 years ago when I was still in primary school. The end product of forcing fish skin down my throat is a massive reaction followed by puke. Even without actually touching fish skin, the sight of others indulging in it in a rather disgusting manner (to me), or the scent of it which in turn leads to my brains painting all kinds of scenarios is enough to make me throw up sometimes. It almost happened earlier this year at a wedding dinner when Dino started eating the fish head leftovers on the table, tearing everything eglible from the fish head to eat, including the eyes and all these while I was sitting beside him glancing as far away as I could. Didn't helped that the table was rather squeezy for 10 persons and needless to say I lost my appetite for the rest of the night.

What happened today was rather historic to me. It was the first time I ever cut and peel fish skin with my own fingers and a knife. In fact I didn't realized the whole load of salmon was attached to a large fish skin under it. It was those bought from the supermarket. I was horrified when I saw the fish skin but it was too late to backtrack. The ramen didn't taste very nice afterwards and I didn't finish it all either. I wouldn't think there will be a chance of the same thing happening ever again as well. The fishy smell on my fingers is making my stomach ill.

All these happened at a time when I shouldn't be at home but due to screwed up sleeping, fatigue creeps in and I decided to do a self declare off day for myself - mc. I have been sleeping at 8pm everyday, waking up at 11.30pm to catch the matches until 4.30am before sleeping another 2 hours to wake up at 6.30am again, repeating the same process everyday. It's such a welcome break for me, to be able to catch up on my precious sleep.