Saturday, February 25, 2006
A burden off my shoulders

Finally....a big burden off my shoulders. I don't care what the result is, for now i can finally catch a breather and relax more even though i still have 2 papers left. Today's paper was always gonna be the hardest, most important and stressful one so u can imagine how relieved i felt when i left the exam room.

I don't know if i did well enough to score the B grade i need to pass the overall module but i know for sure i tried my hardest and its by no means easy when there's trouble and hype surrounding me everyday. The stress and pressure is one thing, the knowledge that i've to have a disciplinary hearing is another. I think i coped quite well during these 5 turbulent days and i believe many in my shoes would have stumbled to the pressure, stress and troubles. For now i'm going to enjoy myself as much as i can for today, just today and its back to studying for my next 2 papers from tomorrow onwards.

The things that happened the past 5 days made me confound what i was already well aware of, that in my entire life i always had to fight hard for something i want. There was never a short cut route in my life, and maybe growing up this way was one reason why i had the determination and the steel when the chips are down, when others have all but given up. I feel alive once again.

For all that others could say of me, the accusations, the criticisms and so much more, i wouldn't even lift an eye to them. For they've never knew me well enough to judge me and i've never had any respects to such comments. Unfair it may be, but fairness was never in the dictionary in the first place. In life we'd always have our fair share of critics and ignorance seem to be the best medicine. They say "ignorance is bliss" and i'd always found tranquility in that phrase but more so than ever after these 5 days.

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posted by mango at 1:46 PM 0 Bitchings
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Preposterous!

Infringing copyrights is an offence, so does infringing human rights. If thats the case, thousands will be charged and thrown into jail - for writing offensive remarks or jokes about others. Throw the word 'fair' out of the dictionary man!

If god is fair there wouldn't be any mishaps or disasters at all. If everyone think they are right then the world would be filled with single minded people everywhere and think of how calamitous that would be!

I'm feeling blue and terrible all over, there haven't been a worst time in my life i could recall. Just when everything seem to be sailing smoothly once again, just when i'd just had a great class gathering with the guys and my exam revision bearing fruits, some shite happened again.

Thats' life i suppose, and i'm going to fight for my own rights. In a war u either kill or get killed, there isn't any short-cuts in life as well. Nothing comes free, success is earned through blood and sweat. Determination, wits and mental strength are essential and these are excatly what i've got!
posted by mango at 10:20 PM 0 Bitchings
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Controversial

I woke up at 4am this morning with the 'hatred' tag hanging around my neck it seems, that is if i were to go by all the comments and vulgarties that were left on my comment and tag boards.

I admit it was a mistake to upload the video in the first place even if it was only for 24hrs or so. Should have spared a thought before doing it, so i've removed the link and everything. This is not to satisfy any agitated souls out there but rather to do what i should never have done in the first place. I don't like the word sorry, so i've done all that i could have even if the scars are left, there's nothing i can do.

Well let me make this clear....I am NOT the person who uploaded the video from the Handphone! Check the newspapers, chinese ones especially if u doubt so!

Its a near impossible task to please everyone out there so why not just please myself? Humans have a very wierd mind-set sometimes, what they say of others can't be said of the same of themselves sometimes. For those who posted the vulgarties, u'd be terribly disappointed that i din't shout my mouth back and engage in some worthless debate out there with some even worthless fucktards don't u?

I could have fuck this and that and hurl all sorts of vulgarties back but again i choose to do what i feel i should do, that is to ban the IP address of all those who used senseless vulgarties. Yeah i know u can simply change your IP or log into another computer and start repeating your childish acts all over again, but that's of no concern to me u'd just see that IP banned again.

You know, i love it when people say things like this :

"Mother Fucker! fuck off! If i ever see u in street one day i would bash u up like a little pathetic dog, and slash till ur bloody face is rotten! BURN IN HELL!"

I am really interested to see if that was ever gonna happen. I doubt so, nowadays there're too many computer super-heroes wannabes. Those who hide behind a screen and post all sorts of threathening and 'oh-so-scary' stuffs when their actions don't even match their words.

Humans like to assume too, those whose egos are too big especially. Assume that i send the video? Come on, if i were to send it i wouldn't have uploaded it to youtube for 24hrs, i would have opened some kazza account and uploaded it there for good. My emails got flooded too, by what else but requests by desperates out there begging me to send them videos. Hey! Who knows if one of those who emailed me begging like a pathetic shit is one of those who actually tag my board like some hero? LOL? Well u never know, since people love assuming i could assume in my own rights as well. Hey u know what? If u could assume anything i could assume the girl is some porn star wannabe and posted the video herself.

Well i think looking gay is a form of complitment nowadays, it goes to show how attractiive these people find me. They must have found me so attractive to them that they say i'm gay, pretty interesting stuffs! And certain people do need extra glasses as well, saying that i'm the guy in the video? Come on, even an idiot could tell its 2 different people. Oh well, i don't know what comes after 'idiot', give me a break!

You know i actually love these people who entertained me with their 'highly entertaining' comments. Everyone has their freedom of speech, yes so u're free to do what u want. But in this blog, i have the freedom to do what i want because its MY BLOG! Open your fucking eyes and read the word....MY BLOG! That means i could delete and ban anyone i wish, and i don't owe anyone an explanation for doing so! Scream your mouth off in your own blog and u think i would even give a damn? Nah.

Its incongruous that people could say i'm a disgrace to my family name when they don't even feel proud of their own pictures or names in the first place. Too ashamed to show their faces to the world? Maybe...(hey i'm assuming again since ppl love doing it!)

Humans do make mistakes, to err is only human.
posted by mango at 6:48 AM 0 Bitchings
Monday, February 20, 2006
Today is Monday...

...And i have a record number of visitors visiting my blog......no thanks to the previous post. My email is flooded with requests as well, thanks to....the previous post again.

Aww i din't know there would be such a high interest in this little erm pornographic shite? Amazing, but i guess u'd be better off reading these fucking facts first:

1. I'm not some kazza server for u to request porn or whatever videos.

2. I don't need people telling me what to post or do because this is MY BLOG!

3. The video will be down after 24 or 48 hours so if u missed it so be it! Don't whine and don't make requests!

4. I'd only send the video to my friends on my msn list - if they ever ask for it.

Thanks for breaking the record on my web counter though, love u guys lol.

How time flies, 5 days from now and I'd be sitting for the first of my final 3 exam papers in Ngee Ann. Is it really 3 years? Close to. But i certainly haven realized how fast time flies. Sadly for me I'd still have to do my FYP after this final examinations while everyone of my classmates officially graduated. June 16 is a long way from now but i can forsee the disappointments i'd feel on that day itself, that is being unable to attend the graduation cenemory with my classmates. We came in together and became classmates on a sunny day somewhere in July 2003 and yet in June 2006 I'm the only one in the class being unable to attend the cenemory. Sigh.

I don't need consolation, its just a passing feeling and disappointments are part of life. Talking aboout the final exams, i doubt anyone in this world would fancy sitting for a very tough and stressful paper on a sweet Saturday morning 9am. So fuck the idiot who set the schedule for this paper, damn it!

Someone said today I was very hardworking upon hearing that I've completed the whole revision paper this afternoon. Its not that i'm being hardworking, its that i've got no choice. I fucking failed the common test paper like shite and that means almost 25% gone. Add the 35% from quizes and lab tests i guess i've only got like 20-30% out of 60% for overall coursework!

That is why i have to be extra hardworking lah! Just imagine the need to score an 'A' for that paper or fail the whole module. Its stressful enough to ensure many would crack under such a pressure. I hate myself for placing myself in such an unwanted siutation often. But i guess it does brings the best out of me also, its only when the stakes are high that i show my true hardworking self!

I'm going to have to live in seclusion for this one and a half weeks to make sure i don't screw up anymore, not when it matters most! I don't think time allows me to further my studies in a university so these 3 papers are gonna be the last in my education! Countdown begins!
posted by mango at 5:42 PM 0 Bitchings
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Expel for having sex at home?

If its true...

Imagine this. U had sex with your bf at home, he records the whole process on a handphone. One sweet day, god decided to play you both an even sweeter joke and the handphone got lost.

A passerby somehow picked up the phone and saw the video of the whole fucking process. He/she uploads it onto the computer and the news and clip spread like wild fire.

The people in yourself spreads it around and news of it came to the director or whatever. U faced immediate explusion from school.

WTF is this? Ridiculous isn't it, not as if the girl had sex in school and got caught. Is there such a rule that says oh u have sex and if we see it u're out of school??

The first person who has to shoulder much of the blame is the bf who records the whole process. This simply shows 2 things, he's a stupid fool and he does not spare a thought for his gf's privacy. The gf was also dumb to allow him to tape the whole process as well.

Now i'm not sure if the above is really true but thats how the news spread. I don't wanna go to jail or have the school coming to sue me so i shall resist naming the school except that i would only say its a polytechnic in the north east. Happy guessing.
posted by mango at 1:20 AM 0 Bitchings
Friday, February 17, 2006
Life is a jar

One day an expert in time management was speaking to a group of business students and, to drive home a point, used an illustration those students will never forget.

As he stood in front of the group of high-powered overachievers he said, Okay, time for a quiz.

Then he pulled out a one-gallon, wide mouth mason jar and set it on the table in front of him. Then he produced about a dozen fist-sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, into the jar. When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would fit inside, he asked, Is this jar full? Everyone in the class said, Yes.

Then he said, "really?!" He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. Then he dumped some gravel in and shook the jar causing pieces of gravel to work themselves down into the space between the big rocks. Then he asked the group once more, Is the jar full? By this time the class was on to him. Probably not, one of them answered.

Good he replied. He reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand in the jar and it went into all of the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel. Once more he asked the question, Is this jar full? No the class shouted.

Once again he said, Good. Then he grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim. Then he looked at the class and asked, What is the point of this illustration? One eager beaver raised his hand and said, The point is, no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard you can always fit some more things in it. No, the speaker replied, that is not the point. The truth this illustration teaches us is: If you don't put the big rocks in first, you’ll never get them in at all.

Inspiring? Certainly! So what are the big rocks in our lives? Each and everyone of us will have different kinds of rocks: dreams, education, career, relationship, money, a worthy cause, time with loved ones, etc etc. Remember to put these big rocks in first or u'd never get them all in.

So, tonight, or in the morning, when you are reflecting on this short story, ask yourself this question: What are the big rocks in my life?

Then place these rocks in your jar first.
posted by mango at 3:43 PM 0 Bitchings
Thursday, February 16, 2006
I love u not

Boy: Baby, we need to talk.
Girl: What do u mean?
Boy: Something has come up...
Girl: What? What's wrong? Is it bad?
Boy: I don't want to hurt you, baby.
Girl: *Thinks* Oh my God, I hope he doesnt break up with me... I love him so much.
Boy: Baby, are you there??
Girl: Yeah, I'm here. What is so important??
Boy: I'm not sure if I should say it..
Girl: Well, you already brought it up, so please just tell me.
Boy: I'm leaving...

Girl: Baby, what are u talking about?? I don't want you to leave me, I love you.
Boy: Not like that, I mean I'm moving far away.
Girl: Why? All of your famliy lives over here.
Boy: Well, my father is sending me away to a boarding school far away.
Girl: I can't believe this.

[FATHER: (Picks up the other phone, interrupts & yells furiously CHARLENE!, what did I tell you about talking to boys?!!!... Get off the damn phone!! (And hangs up).]

Boy: Wow, your father sounds really mad.
Girl: You know how he gets, but anyways, I dont want you to go.
Boy: Would you run away with me?
Girl: Baby, you know I would, I would do anything for you, but I can't... You don't know what would happen if I did. My dad would kill me!
Boy: *Sad* It's okay.. I understand, I guess..
Girl: *Thinking*I can't believe what's going on.
Boy: I need to give you something tonite, because I am leaving on flight 1-80 in the morning, so I need to see you now.
Girl: Okay, I will sneak out & meet you at the park.
Boy: Okay, I'll meet you there in 20 minutes.

[They meet at a nearby park, they both hug eachother. And he gives her a note.]

Boy: Here you go, this is for you. I gotta go.
Girl: *Tear* (Begins to cry.)
Boy: Baby, dont cry, you know I love you... But I have to go.
Girl: Okay (Begins to walk away.)

[They both go back home. And Charlene begins to read the letter he gave her]

It says..."Charlene,You probably already know that I'm leaving, I knew this would be better if I wrote a letter explaining the truth about how much I care about you. The truth is, is that I never loved you, I hated you so much, you are my bitch and dont you ever forget that. I never cared about you, and never wanted to talk to you, and be around you. You really have no clue how much I hate you. Now that I'm leaving I thought you should know that I hate you, bitch. You never did the right thing, and you were never there. I didnt think I could hate someone as much as I hate you. And I never want to see you, for the rest of my life, I will never miss kissing you like before, I never want to cuddle up, how we used to. I will not miss you and that's a promise. You never had my love, and I want you to remember that. Bitch, you keep this letter because this may be the last thing you have from me. Fuck, I hate you so much. I will not talk to you soon bitch...

Goodbye. Johnny"

[ Charlene begins to cry, she throws the paper in the garbage & cried for hours ]

...A day passes, she is sad, depressed and she feels so lonely... Then she gets a phone call....

Friend: How are you feeling?
Girl: I just cant believe this happened.. I thought he loved me.
Friend: Oh, about that. Johnny left me a message. A few days ago. He told me to tell you to look in your jacket pocket or something...
Girl: Umm.. okay.

[She finds a piece of paper in the jacket, It says:

"Baby I hope you find this before you read my letter. I knew your dad might read it, so I switched a few words...Hate = Love Never = Always Bitch = Baby Will not= will.... I hope you didn't take that seriously because I love you with all my heart, and it was so hard to let you go thats why I wanted you to run away with me... -Johnny"]

Girl: Oh my God! It's a letter.. Johnny does love me!!, he must of slipped it into my pocket when he hugged me. I can't believe how stupid I am!!
Friend: lol Okay but I gtg... Call me later.
Girl: *happy*okay, bye, I'll be at home waiting for my baby to call me!

... Charlene turns the T.V. on.....

[Breaking news] "An airplane has crashed. Over 47 young boys died, we are still searching for survivors... This is a tragedy we will never forget, this plane was flight 1-80... it was on its way to an all boys boarding school..." the Reporter says.

[ She turns off the t.v. ... a day later, she killed herself, because of the fact that Johnny was dead & she had nothing to live for... ]

... A day after that, the phone rings. Nobody answers. It was Johnny, he left a message. "Its Johnny, I guess you're not home so, I called to let you know that I'm alive, I missed my flight because I had to see you one last time. So, I hope you are not worried. I am staying for good."
posted by mango at 4:25 AM 0 Bitchings
Monday, February 13, 2006
Calling a spade a spade

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A picture says a thousand words, a picture with words has no limits.

This thing has been bothering me for years and its still bothering me now even though I've more or less got used to it. Why do people always like to judge me by my looks? Why do people like to assume or have an impression of anything through my looks?

Oh well i guess this is a god-sent gift as well as trouble which i simply have to get used to. Since young people have been telling me i have those playboy looks, those that give people impressions that i'm never short of girls, that i have countlless girlfriends, that i'm always attached, bla bla bla......whats new huh!?!

Make this clear, i have only 9 ex-gfs and out of those 9, only 3 of them are really what i call long-term and serious relationship. Okie to some i guess 9 is considered alot thats because they probably have only 1 or 2 ex-gf/bf. But its not fair to judge this way, one have to look at my past, my history. I was a god damn ah beng since secondary 2 and that was also the year i had my first gf. I'm sure people are aware that ah bengs are mostly flirts or like to go around chasing girls, so having 9 ex is a rather low figure alright. Don't forget i'm reaching 23 this year and i see some 18 or 19 year-olds having more than 20 ex nowadays.

Well saying 3 out of 9 are serious relationship doesn't makes the rest of the 6 flings or some yaya papaya relationships. Its just that there was what i call 'substance' in those 3 relationships, the thinking was right, there were ambitions and there was a future ahead even though all 3 ended eventually.

Back to my looks, now tell me will anyone please tell me whats wrong with my looks?! Do i really look like a playboy like what people says? Do i really give people the impression that i've a date on valentine's day all the time?

Got this sms from grace this afternoon :

G: ....btw got anyone date u out tml on vday?
Me: got but i rejected, so consider dun have loh
G: wah lao u siao ah why reject?
Me: coz i dun feel like going out with them so reject loh
G: wow i'm surprised to hear such a reply from u
Me: huh? then wat reply u wan haha

And this msn conversation with stephanie this evening:

steph : lol. coz ur looks seem so (she replying to my nick --> why does everyone assume i have a date on vday?!)
Me: ......
steph: know wat
steph: u actually give us a impression that
steph: always changing a gf
Me: why?!?! why why why why why!??!
Me: wats wrong with my loooookssss?
steph: duno
steph: got the playboy looks

Now will someone please kill me?! sha le wo bah! I admit i look 'ok' but i don't really think i have the playboy looks. Even if i do it doesn't makes me a playboy at all cause i was never one. I may flirt ocassionally when i'm single but that's no playboy. I've never 2-timed my ex before and i don't think i'm capable of doing it. Reason? When i'm in love i fall hard and close my eye to the rest of the world. If u still don't get it well i'm saying that person will be the world to me i wont even bother about anything else.

Talking about finding a gf, i don't fancy the word 'find'. It just doesn't exist in my love dictionary, rather i prefer the word 'meet'. So people who keep asking me when i'm going to FIND a gf is really driving me nuts even though i won't show it to them haha. To be honest, finding a gf is not a problem for me (eh not being 'hao lian' or what lah okie i'm just being honest and realistic) but i don't like the idea of having a gf for the sake of wanting a gf having one. If that's the case i'd rather not have a gf which is what i've choosen. I rather wait for someone i can see a future with to appear.

Its the same for valentine's day. Do u think i don't want a date? Which guy in his right frame of mind would want to spend vday alone? I can have a date if i want to, but i want a date that is worth it, especially on a special day like vday. I don't want to simply date someone just for the sake of having a date just to make myself satisfied. Patience is a virtue.

I'm tired of people telling me the same thing all the time. If they wish to call a spade a spade so be it, i'm a playboy then. The last thing on my mind currently is a gf, its not as important as things like my final exams and my 'second wife'. Don't be mistaken though, i want a gf, i want to get married and have 2 adorable kids, but i can't probably go around singapore and find that person right? A sentimental and romantic dickhead like me can't probably stand the thought of being single for good! Touched wood!
posted by mango at 8:06 PM 0 Bitchings
Friday, February 10, 2006
Why do I blog?

A blog is an online diary. Bloggers are people who write blogs.

In my opinion there are various types of blogs and bloggers.

1. Those who treat their blogs like some popularity contests.
2. Those who see their blog as a very private thing, just a place to vent and rant.
3. Those who only blog when they ain't lazy. Notice the large date difference between entries.
4. Those who blog extremely detailed entries. (eg: today i go bla bla bla...eat bla bla bla...)
5. Those who use drawings/cartoons to blog instead of words. Very creative!
6. Those who blog to entertain people, they write stuffs that make people read.
7. Those whose blogs are like some picture gallery, few words but pictures everywhere.
8. Those who write according to their moods and feelings.
9. Those who blog because all their friends also got blog!
10. Those whose blog are like some news station website.

These aside, there are of course other types as well and personally i think i'm a mixture of no.2 and no.8.

I've been writing a diary/blog since the age of 15. I started out using a real diary (book and write with pen) before switching to geocities and eventually blogger/blogspot. The differences between now and then were that back then i kept my diary/blog very secretive and private as what i wrote were all very private stuffs like my evil deeds, lust, my harted, relationship stuffs, etc.

I decided to switch to blogspot and decided to make my blog public after reading other people's blogs, guys especially. I used to have this thinking that a guy who writes a diary is kind of sissy or girly and not many people would be able to accept it. Not anymore though after i read lots of blogs of other guys.

I know though there are still people out there who can't accept a guy blogging. They probably find it ridiculous or a waste of time. So here comes the golden question that bloggers face: why do u blog?

I blog for my love and passion for writing as well as the memories of my life.

People who know me really well will know that English was my all time best and favourite subject in school and writing essays is my forte. I once submitted an essay consisting of over 1000 words in an exam when the maximum was only 400-500 words. I guess being imaginative and sensitive helps in some way that i could imagine and write all sorts of things or stories out without having a stop in between.

As for memories, provided some fucking terriosts don't bomb the whole internet, I know in maybe in 10 years time I could look back fondly on this blog with lots of bitter sweet memories. We can't turn back time but we can recall the old times and through blogging I'm able to acheive that.

Reading a blog is like watching a movie<. U choose the movie u want and u buy the tickets to watch. If the show sucks, u either choose to get your dollar's worth buy sitting through the entire show or u could bloody hell leave the theatre. Some people don't seem to get the point though, they read a blog entry they don't like and start throwing all sorts of childish complaints, tantrums or vulgarties in the tagboards/comment spaces. Now these shit heads should get this fucking fact right, bloggers are not writing to satisfy your eyes and minds. We write anything we wish because this so call BLOG is a DIARY and u know what is a diary? Isn't the circumstances similiar to watching a sucky movie? U choose to stay and read or u can jolly well fuck off if u don't like what u're reading/seeing. Believe me, it doesn't makes a difference. I'm a very straight forward person so naturally what i blog is gonna piss someone off in someway but afterall am i paid to write or entertain anyone? I don't think that's the case so I simply write what i wish, discriminating or not, hurtful or not I don't give a damn. Now this is not attitude but if i were to keep every little things to myself then i might as well not blog isn't it? Then again i don't then there's a need to be so straight forward to blog things like sex and other dark secrets. These are afterall personal stuffs and everyone has their own little secrets i believe. By the way, talking about girls all the time does not make me a flirt. Neither is talking about sex making me a horny pervert. If that's what foolhardy people out there think, then be it i'm not paid to explain anyway.

Therefore i'm a blogger, i write blogs and i love doing that when i have things to write about. Now for u people who say a guy writing a blog is "bo liao" or whatever, why are u even reading this post in the first place?
posted by mango at 3:09 AM 0 Bitchings
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Things i have something against

I'm very tired after a long day in school and driving but i still wanna blog. And its by no means a nice entry, it's gonna seem biased or mean to some. Right from the bottom of my heart these are some issues on the net that i can't stand.

One word replies.
Think about it, if u're chatting with someone and all the person replies is 'yes', 'no', haha', 'lol', 'duh', 'ohhh'. Isn't these responses terrible? Its simply a sign that the person doesn't wants to talk to u so why not save these 1 word reply and simply say "oh i dun feel like talking, chat another time ok'? Yes there're siutations or times where 1 word replies can't be avoided but when being used too often to my liking its rather infuriating. Why not just save both of our time and tell me u don't wish to chat?

Using god-knows-what pictures
God gave everyone of us a face and its one we should be proud of, ugly or not. Hiding behind a fake face simply goes to show that u're ashamed of your own face. I can't stand people who uses pictures like pets, cartoons, anime, idols or whatever they can find as their pictures in stuffs like friendster or blogs. Give me a break please!

Yucklish
I've mention this before in one of my classic entries (click here to read). peoPlee whuu Type like thIsH aRee beRi IrriaTing nEh u noee? For fucking raymond's sake i don't find words like 'euu', 'miee', 'moi' cute at all! In fact euu sounds like oil in chinese okie! Enough said, read the classic entry for a good laugh!

Freak bloggers
There are many people who loves to act nowadays and many of them deserves an oscar for their acting skills. Bloggers are one of those who fall into that category. I don't understand why there're people who try to act like something or someone they're not in their blogs. I don't understand why there's a need to give people false impression of them. Isn't a blog supposed to be something of a diary? Obviously these people are not treating their blogs like a diary, rather they treat their blogs like a popularity contest. The more visitors they have the happier they get. How sick.

Alright my mind's too tired to think of any other issues even though there're still quite a number of them. Final conclusion? Be straight forward and don't fucking act like something u're not! And yes.........
posted by mango at 9:01 PM 0 Bitchings
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Topic-less

The aftermath of chinese new year was entirely ordinary and boring. Everyday was the same - more or less, driving, going to school, complete my tasks and sleep. Obviously i din't like any of it but there's nothing i can do.

Daniel, Fiona, Chris and Kylie came over to visit me on Friday and that was considered some sort of a milestone because no one from my class have ever came to my place before except elmo after clubbing once. How nice of them haha.

Finally kicked a ball after nearly 3months since that heartbreaking ICT tourement today. I admit i was totally out of sorts, thanks to all the clubbing, booze, cigarettes, cny food and the lack of exercises. I felt my lungs busting after a mere 20 minutes out there and it din't help that the sun was fucking blazing and those who din't apply sun lotion got their skin burnt. I was teasing elmo about how his face looked like he'd applied too much blusher or foundation afterwards! Great to kick a ball with the guys after such a long time!

Everyone i'm pretty sure has some 'important' dates on their calendar such as xmas or holidays. I'm no different, mine are the usual ones like xmas, new year, cny, national day, valentine's day and of course all the public holidays! The next date coming up is valentine's day which i've already noted long ago especially when its right after chinese new year.

There's no denying that being a romanticist, valentine's day usually brings more than excitement to me ever since a young age. I'm a dreamer, unrealistic at times and i'd usually dream of the perfect romance happening during such a day.

This year, the thinking suddenly changed a little. I no longer feel so much excitement and pondering how pathetic it would be having to spend vday alone. One of my friends asked me once: "hey whose your date this year?". I replied: "nah, i dun have one and its no big deal spending the day alone". I admit that response was alittle fake. Alittle because even though its really no big deal to me if i'm dateless, deep inside me somehow i'd still feel blue about it. Its just a normal feeling i guess.

Afterall if fairytales do ever happen to me, well i know they do exists but i haven had one yet, then i'd wish for a perfect romance. Meeting that someone special on this special day and spending the rest of my life with her. Now this is just a big fat dream, even though its possible but the chances are like 0.01%.

I've imaged the most realistic scenario on the 14th, and i guess it suits me well. 9-6pm in school, get home for dinner and sleep! How perfect is that for a big time romanticist without a date? Quite perfect and i'm gonna go ahead and make this scenario happen unless something of a surprise comes along the way. A much appreciated and silently awaited one i'd say!

Valentine's without a date is obviously a little saddening but thats not the end of the world, there're far too much important things to do and acheive.
posted by mango at 6:41 PM 0 Bitchings


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