Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Great Video!

Feeling blue? Watch this video! Be patient and let it load and u're promised to be in for a treat! Hahaha!


posted by mango at 9:49 PM 0 Bitchings
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
A Phenomenon

I know I haven't been blogging lately. I just got lazy and there's hardly anything to blog about. At least nothing came to mind but it could have been different if I had gone to a halloween party, but I didn't. Today I decided I would blog about something I've always wanted to write about ever since I came back from my Bangkok trip, something phenomenal - shemales.

The word ah gua, bapok, shemale or ladyboy is usually met with "eeks", "yucks", "gross lah", "er xin" and so on - in Singapore that is. I think much have got to do with the SMs here. Most are obvious to the eye with their skimpy dressing, often those tight dresses or extremely outrageous clothes. But I guess many haven't seen the 'very well done' ones yet. Yes, those from Thailand. Okay so u think u can easily make out the difference, u think u've seen enough and that u obviously know which are the real and fake women. Well.....I had the same thoughts too....





"Aiya I know how to tell apart a guy and a girl lah"




Below is a nice little test to put that statement above to test. There are 9 photos of attractive girls or 'girls' and it's up to u to decide which are girls and which are 'girls'. Think u're good? U think again.

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Most people have an impression that SMs are like whores or sex workers which is especially true in Singapore but in Thailand, alot of SMs are normal civilians who work normal jobs, go to school and live normal lives. And as u read this, I'm sure alot of u are still trying to figure out which are girls and which are 'girls'. Amazing isn't it? To think guys can be so naive sometimes when trying to know girls! And it's even funnier when u think that some of these guys are the ones who go "eeeeeeeek" at the word shemale.

It seem that Thailand is altogether another world out there when it comes to genders or sexes. It's hard to believe a guy can look so gorgeous or hot but thinking further, it's indeed possible with cosmetic surgery and if the Korean girls can look so drop dead hot after going under the knife, what's chances are there of a good looking Thai dude turning into a gorgeous beauty that put so many girls out there to shame? Welcome to Thailand.

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A long time ago, a friend of mine said something which I find didn't make any sense. But today, I change my opinion. That friend of mine said...

"Why are all the hotest girls in Thailand men?"


Amen



*Answers* (Did u get it right? Be honest with yourself!)

Girls
C, E, G

'Girls'
A, B, D, F, H, I
posted by mango at 7:13 AM 0 Bitchings
Thursday, October 25, 2007
The agony of growing up

As I lay in my bed feeling the effects of the medication nursing my flu today, my mind started wandering, turning back time and going throug the years. My 24 years of growing up. Sometimes I couldn't help thinking how great it would be if I needed grow up. As a child in a average and decent family, I got what I want everytime. Yes I was spoilt - badly, to be honest.

Growing up a guy in this country call Singapore isn't easy. A demanding country where the bucks rules. Yes, the bucks. You are shit if you do not have the bucks and to put it simply, you can't survive. And so as you age, you have to think of how to make the bucks. There is pressure to make the bucks to secure your future, to repay your parents and of course, to secure a wife. It's all about money in Singapore!

When you reach the crossroads of your life, you have to make important decisions, 1 of those are which direction you want to go in your career. What kind of job do you really want to do? How are you going to acheive it? You don't find such thoughts in your mind when you're young. It's something new but something unavoidable and definitely something which I believe many people struggle to find an answer. I'm not one of them fortunately. I'm clear about what I want to do, how to get there and what is required. But that is only the easy part. The hard part is actually doing it.

If you think the hardships of securing those few sheets of paper in school were
nightmarish, you wouldn't want to think about securing your future.



In Singapore, the society judge you all the time for everything you do. If you are in NS, they assume you are a poor fuck who doesn't qualify to apply for exclusive memberships or credit cards. If you do not have a decent education, you are nothing but a waste to society. If you party often, the girls think you are unreliable or desperate. And if you own a condo, you are deem to be rich. They never look at the whole picture, even more so if you are a guy. You don't face all these when you're a sweet innocent child though.

Growing up, I feel the strains all the time. I feel there is lesser time for entertainment, I feel there isn't anymore time to bum around. At times, I worry about my health, other times, I look at people around me, younger than me getting married and starting their families and I feel the pressure. Not the pressure to get married but the pressure to become the 'final product' - stable and ready to start a new chapter in life.

No matter how confident or positive a person is, there are always worries to contend with. There are always question marks and doubts at times. There is always a need to prove, all because you're a guy living in Singapore. When you were young, your life is painted by your parents, but as you grow up, you are the artist, and as we know from painting a potrait, there is no rooms for errors - hardly any.

Welcome to the new world.
posted by mango at 3:42 PM 0 Bitchings
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Mango 1-0 Trojan Horse

I haven't been able to blog for the last few days thanks to this irritating trojan horse, spyware, malware or whatever it is. I think I'm really suay, fancy getting infected for the first time in years...yes years! Whats more, I got infected from an incredible source - blogs! I've always been a careful and wise user that is why my precious laptop have always been clean, but that morning I was rather impatient for some reason and clicked 'yes' to an unknown publisher. Ended up taking urgent leave for half a day to fix the problem.

Unsuccessful, gave up at noon, went to office. Worried sick the entire day, pissed with myself. Finally I resolved it yesterday night after 3 frustrating days - well I hope I'd really got rid of the virus and trojan for good because this kind of things, you just can't tell for sure. I can't afford to reformat either as there are too many valuable softwares and stuffs inside. Many people recommend reformatting but that have never entered my head. I was always confident I would be able to nurse it back to health without selecting that option.

Special thanks to Steven and people from the MINDEF forums for their little help and advice. My laptop is back and running healthy again!

And today I decided I would free some space in my ready-to-burst wardrobe. I figured out it would be good to clear the mess now and free up some space for my purchases from Bangkok and HongKong in the coming 2 months. I hate my wardrobe, it isn't that small but the way they design it is very inaccessible especially if I want to dig out clothes as there's only 1 door. Blame HDB for building big flats with small rooms! @!#$%^&*&^

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A total mess and on the verge of bursting!

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Soccer gear

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I know u girls have more....!

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This is what we call 'kiam cai'

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My humble shirt collection

I did a silly headcount on which type of clothes I had the most and it was a no contest. Long sleeves shirts won hands down. 16 pieces of them and counting. That doesn't include afew which I've dumped after deciding I won't be wearing them anymore. I think I need more variety, 16 pieces is just too little. And I seem to have a habit of getting tired of t-shirts very easily, I dugged up a big amount (more than 16) and dump them all into another cupboard meant for casual wear. And after clearing off some shoes which are almost worn out, I'm left with 11 pairs. Time to splurge!

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Looks slightly better after clearing and sorting out the mess!
posted by mango at 2:33 PM 0 Bitchings
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Bad hair day

Sometimes when I look into the mirror, I can't seem to figure out if my hair's suddenly gone haywire or is it my mood or mind that's gone bonkers. I mean, I can look into the mirror on 1 day feeling pleased and satisfied with my hair and the following day I just can't be satisfied no matter how many times I style my hair over and over again. This morning was an example. These days, I don't bother to apply anything to my hair or style it when I go to office. I simply flip it into shap using my fingers.

And this morning when I look into the mirror, I saw a disaster. It's like you know, you look into the mirror and tell yourself: "oh fuck I seriously need a haircut, I look like shit!" or "omg my hair texture is like fucking rough and ugly!" Then you start to get paranoid and pissed with yourself. I realized whenever I feel this way, I will never be able to style my hair properly and even if I do, I see a nice hairstyle as ugly. It's like the moment you paint a picture of your ugly mob of hair in your brains, that picture sticks there for quite sometime until you get rid of it. And its precisely because that ugly picture gets stucked in your brains that no matter how nice your hair is, you just don't see it. I have this problem sometimes.

I remember afew times where I got so pissed off and fucked up with my hair after styling that I forcefully went to the washroom to wash everything off and redo it all over again. I guess this is what you call amateurish.

So this morning, aware of this problem, I decided to try something different. I decided to heck care and just get out of my house. I was already running late anyway. Throughout the journey I tried not to think about how sucky my hair is and instead try to have paint a nicer picture of it in my mind. True enough, when I reach office and went to the washroom, the mirror image of my hair was satisfying. This is no illusion, I've just come to realized that many times, things ain't as bad as we deduced them to be. It's just our own powerful imagination that is screwing us up sometimes. Nevertheless, I need a haircut and I'm gonna get it done anytime soon!
posted by mango at 7:31 PM 0 Bitchings
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Zombies on a Saturday

What a nice and warm Saturday I've got, I'm at home blogging at 12.30am on a Saturday instead of getting myself into some bars or clubs outside. This is nice actually, reminds me of my early childhood Saturdays where I'm often back at home by this time.

My first time going out with Michelle today, we went to catch the show Resident Evil Extinction and talked alot rubbish all day especially about Bangkok. Man, we can really go on and on about the topic! Okie 3.5 popcorns out of 5 for the show, wanted to give it 4 but the ending was, well I can easily figure it out. Thats zombie shows for you, they are always the same but it's surprising this time there were zombie crows which i wonder if it's real or not. How the hell can so many crows with bloodshot eyes come pecking and biting someone if they are all real crows and not some robotic ones? And the girl sitting beside me is more scary than the zombies on the screen, she'd jerk or do some frightening actions suddenly, 'scaring' the shit out of me. Duhs!

I love today, I can say if not for the Cheese story, today will never have turned out this way. I threw aside my fears for once and did what I would do if I wasn't tied down by worries, doubts or fears. I got my reward - a simple and wonderful Saturday! I'm smiling :)

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posted by mango at 12:20 AM 0 Bitchings
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Who moved my Cheese?

I've long heard about this inspiring all time best seller book but somehow the book always elude me. That is until afew days back when 1 of my colleagues mass sent an online version of the book through the email in office. I have to say while perhaps many people have already read the story and I'm like slow or one of the last to read it, it's better to be late than never. This is one story everyone should make a point to read, even though it may seem like fucking long winded but I assure you it's worth every second of your precious time. Your life could well change after reading too, believe me this story can certainly solve any problems that we all face in our lives today, be it relationships, friends, career, family, illness, anything!

Once, long ago in a land far away, there lived 4 little characters who ran through a maze looking for cheese to nourish them and make them happy. There were 2 mice named "Sniff" and "Scurry" and 2 were little people - beings who were as small as mice but who looked and acted alot like people today. Their names were "Hem" and "Haw".

Everyday, the mice and little people spent time in the maze looking for their own special cheese. The mice, Sniff and Scurry, posessing only simple rodent brains but good instincts, searching for the hard nibbling cheese they like, as mice often do.

The 2 little people, Hem and Haw, used their brains, filled with many beliefs, to search for a very different kind of cheese - with a Capital C - which they believe would make them feel happy and successful.

As different as the mice and little people were, they shared something in common; every morning, they each put on their jogging suits and running shoes, left their little homes, and raced out into the maze looking for their favourite cheese.

The maze was a labyrinth of corridors and chambers, some containing delicious cheese. But there were also dark corners and blind alleys leading to nowwhere. It was an easy place for anyone to get lost. However, for those who found their way, the maze held secrets that let them enjoy a better life. The mice, Sniff and Scurry, used the simple but inefficient method of finding cheese. They ran down 1 corridor and if it proved empty, they turned and ran down another.

Sniff would smell out the general direction of the cheese, using his great nose and Scurry would race ahead. They got lost, as you would expect, went off in the wrong directions and often bumped into walls.

The 2 little people, Hem and Haw used a different method that relied on their ability to think and learn from past experiences, although they would sometimes get confused by their beliefs and emotions.

Eventually, they all discovered what they were looking for - they each found their own kind of cheese 1 day at the end of 1 of the corridors in Cheese station C.

Every morning after that, the mice and little people dressed in their running gear and headed over to Cheese station C. It wasn't long before they each established their own routine. Sniff and Scurry continued to wake up early everyday and race through the maze, always following the same route.

When they arrived at their destination, the mice took off their running shoes, tied them together and hung over their necks - so they could get to them quickly whenever they needed them again. Then they enjoyed the cheese.

In the beginning, Hem and Haw also raced towards Cheese station C every morning to enjoy the tasty new morsels that awaited them. But after awhile, a different routine set in for the little people. Hem and Haw awoke each day a little later, dressed a little slower, and walked to the Cheese station C. Afterall, they knew where the Cheese was now and how to get there.

They had no idea where the Cheese came from, or who put it there. They hung up their jogging suits, put away their running shoes and put on their slippers. They were becoming very comfortable now that they have found the Cheese.

"This is great", Hem said. "There is enough cheese here to last us forever." The little people felt happy and successful, and thought they were now secure. It wasn't long before Hem and Haw regarded the Cheese they found at Cheese station C as their cheese. It was such a large store of Cheese that they eventually moved their homes to be closer to it, and built life around it. To make themselves feel more at home, Hem and Haw decorated the walls sayings and even drew pictures of Cheese around them which made them smile. One read :


Having Cheese makes you happy.


Sometimes Hem and Haw would take their friends by to see their pile of Cheese at Cheese station C, and point to it with pride saying "Pretty nice Cheese uh?" Sometimes they share it with their friends, sometimes they don't.

"We deserve this Cheese", Hem said. "We certainly had to work long and hard enough to find it." He picked up a nice fresh piece and ate it.

Afterwards, Hem fell asleep as he often did. Every night, the little people would waddle home, full of Cheese and every morning they would confidently return for more. This went on for quite sometime. After awhile, Hem and Haw's confidence grew into arrogance. Soon they became so comfortable that they didn't even notice what was happening.

As time went on, Sniff and Scurry continued their routine. They arrived early each morning, sniffed and scratched and scurried around Cheese station C, inspecting the area to see if there have been any changes from the day before. Then they would sit down and nibble on the Cheese.
One morning, they arrived at Cheese station C and discovered there were no more Cheese. They weren't surprised. Since Sniff and Scurry had noticed the supply of cheese had been getting smaller everyday, they were well prepared for the inevitable and knew instinctively what to do. They looked at each other, removed the old running shoes they had tied around and hung conveniently around their necks, put them on and laced them up.

The mice did not overanalyze things. And they were not burdened with many complex beliefs. To the mice, the problem and answer were both simple. The situation at Cheese station C had changed. So Sniff and Scurry decided to change.

They both looked into the maze. Then Sniff lifted his nose, sniffed and nodded to Scurry who took off running through the maze while Sniff followed as fast as he could. They were quickly off in search of new cheese.

Later that same day, Hem and Haw arrived at Cheese station C. They had not been paying attention to the small changes that had been taking place each day. So they took it for granted their Cheese would still be there. They were unprepared for what they found.

"What? No Cheese?" Hem yelled. He continued yelling, "No Cheese? No Cheese?" as though if he shouted loud enough someone would put it back.

"Who moved my cheese?" he hollered.

Finally, he put his hands on his hips, his face turned red, and he screamed at the top of his voice, "It's not fair!!".

Haw just shook his head in disbelief. He, too had counted on finding Cheese at Cheese station C. He stood there for a long time, frozen with shock. He was just not ready for this. Hem was yelling something, but Haw didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to deal with what was facing him, so he just turned everything out.

The little people's behavior was not very attractive or productive but it was understandable. Finding Cheese wasn't easy, and it mean a great deal more to the little people than just having enough of it to eat everyday.

Finding Cheese was the little people's way of getting what they thought was needed to be happy. They had their own ideas of what Cheese meant to them, depending on their taste.

For some, finding Cheese was having material things. For others it was enjoying good health or developing a spiritual sense of well-being.

For Haw, Cheese just meant feeling safe, having a loving family someday and living in a cozy cottage on Cheddar Lane. To Hem, Cheese was becoming a Big Cheese in charge of others and owning a big house atop Camembert Hill.

Because Cheese was so important to them, the 2 little people spent a long time trying to decide what to do. All they could think of was to keep looking around Cheeseless station C to see if the Cheese was really gone. While Sniff and Scurry had quickly moved on, Hem and Haw continued to hem and haw.

They ranted and raved at the injustice of it all. Haw started to get depressed. What would happen if the Cheese wasn't there tomorrow? He had made future plans based on this Cheese. The little people couldn't believe it. How could this have happened? No one had warned them. It wasn't right. It was not the way things were supposed to be.

Hem and Haw went home that night hungry and discouraged. But before they left, Haw wrote on the wall:



The more important your Cheese is to you, the more you want to hold on to it.


The next day Hem and Haw left their homes, and returned to Cheese station C again, where they still expected, somehow to find their Cheese. But the situation hadn't changed, the Cheese was no longer there. The little people didn't know what to do. Hem and Haw just stood there, immobilized like 2 statues.

Haw shut his eyes as tight as he could and put his hands over his ears. He just wanted to block everything out. He didn't want to knw the Cheese supply had gradually been getting smaller. He believed it had been moved all of the sudden.

Hem analyzed the situation over and over and eventually his complicated brain, with its huge belief system took hold. "Why did they do this to me?" he demanded. "What's really going on here??"

Finally, Haw opened his eyes, looked around and said, "By the way, where are Sniff and Scurry? Do you think they know something we don't?"

Hem scoffed, "What would they know?"

Hem continued, "They are just simple mice. They just respond to what happens. We are little people, we are special. We should be able to figure this out. And besides, we deserve better."

"This should not happen to us, or if it does, we should at least get some bennefits."

"Why should we get bennefits?" Haw asked.
"Because we're entitled", Hem claimed.
"Entitled to what?" Haw wanted to know.
"We are entitled to our Cheese".
"Why?" Haw asked.
"Because we didn't cause this problem." Hem said. "Somebody else did this and we should get something out of it."

Haw suggested , "Maybe we should stop analyzing the situation so much and get going and find some new Cheese. "

"Oh no," Hem argued. "I'm going to get to the bottom of this."

While Hem and Haw were still trying to decide what to do, Sniff and Scurry were already well on their way. They went further into the maze, up and down corridors, looking for cheese in every Cheese station they could find. They didn't think of anything else but finding new cheese. They didn't find any for sometime until they finally went into an area of the maze where they had never been before: Cheese station N.

They squealed with delight. They found what they had been looking for: a great supply of new Cheese. They could hardly believe their eyes. It was the biggest store of Cheese the mice had ever seen.

In the meantime, Hem and Haw were still back in Cheese station C evaluating their situation. They were now suffering from the effects of having no Cheese. They were becoming frustrated and were blaming each other for the situation they were in.

Now and then, Haw thought abouot his mice buddies, Sniff and Scurry, and wondered if they had found any cheese yet. He believed they might be having a hard time as running through the maze usually involved some uncertainty. But he also knew that it was likely to last only for a while. Sometimes, Haw would imagine Sniff and Scurry finding new Cheese and enjoying it. He thought about how good it would be for him to be out on an adventure in the maze, and to find new Cheese. He could almost taste it.

The more clearly Haw saw the image of himself finding and enjoying the new Cheese, the more he saw himself leaving Cheese station C.

"Lets go!" he exclaimed, all of a sudden.

"No," Hem quickly respond. "I like it here. It's comfortable. It's what I know. Beside, it's dangerous out there."

"No it isn't," Haw argued. "We've run through many parts of the maze before, and we can do it again."

"I'm getting too old for that," Hem said. "And I'm afraid I'm not interested in getting lost and making a fool of myself. Are you?"

With that, Haw's fear of failing returned and his hope of finding new Cheese faded. So everyday, the little people continued to do what they had done before. They went to Cheese station C, found no Cheese and return home, carrying their worries and frustrations with them. They tried to deny what was happening but found it harder to get to sleep, had less energy the next day and were becoming irritatble.

Their homes were not the nuturing places they once were. The little people had difficulty sleepinig and were having nightmares about not finding any Cheese. But Hem and Haw still return to Cheese station C and waited there everyday.

Hem said, "You know, if we just work harder we'll find that nothing has really changed that much. The Cheese is probably just nearby. Maybe they just hid it behind the wall."

The next day, Hem and Haw returned with tools. Hem held the chisel while Haw banged on the hammer until they made a big hole in the wall of Cheese station C. They peered inside but found no Cheese. They were disappointed but believed that could solve the problem. So they started earlier, stayed longer and worker harder. But after awhile, all they had was a huge hole in the wall.

Haw was beginning to realize the difference between activity and productivity.

"Maybe," Hem said, "We should just sit here and see what happens. Sooner or later, they have to put the Cheese back."

Haw wanted to believe that. So they went home to rest, and return reluctantly each morning to Cheese station C. But the Cheese never reappeared. By now the little people were growing weak from hunger and stress. Haw was getting tired of just waiting for their situation to improve. He began to see that longer they stay in their Cheeseless situation, the worse off they would be. Haw knew they were losing their edge.

Finally, 1 day Haw began laughing at himself. "Haw, Haw look at me. I keep doing the same things over and over again and wonder why things don't get better. If ithis wasn't so ridiculous, it would be even funnier."

Haw did not like the idea of having to run through the maze again, because he knew he would get lost and have no idea whether he would end up finding any Cheese at all. But he had to laugh at his folly when he saw what his fear was doing to him.

He asked Hem, "Where did we put our jogging suits and running shoes?" It took a long time to find them because they had put everything away when they found their Cheese at Cheese station C, thinking they wouldn't be needing those suits and shoes anymore.

As Hem saw his friend getting into his running gear, he said, "You're not really going out into the maze again, are you? Why don't you just wait here with me until they put the Cheese back?"

"Because you don't get it," Haw said. "I didn't wanted to see it either but now I realized they're never going to put the old Cheese back. That was yesterday's Cheese. It's time to find new Cheese."

Hem argued, "But what if there isn't any Cheese out there? Or even if there is, what if you don't find it?"

"I don't know," Haw said. He had asked himself those same questions too many times and started to feel fears again that kept him where he was and prevented him from doing anything.

Then he thought about finding new Cheese and all the good things that came with it and gathered his courage.

"Sometimes," Haw said, "Things change and they are never the same again. This looks like one of those times, Hem. That's life! Life moves on and so should we."

Haw looked at his emaciated companion and tried to talk sense into him but Hem's fear had turned into anger and he wouldn't listen. Haw didn't mean to be rude to his friend but he had to laugh at how silly they both looked. As Haw prepared to leave, he started to feel alive, knowing that he was finally able to laugh at himself, let go of his fears and move on.

Haw announced, "It's maze time!"
Hem didn't laugh and didn't respond.

Haw picked up a small, sharp rock and wrote a serious thought on the wall for Hem to think about. As was his custom, Haw even drew a picture of Cheese around it, hoping it would help Hem to smile, lighten up and go after the new Cheese. But Hem didn't wanted to see it. The writing read:


If you do not change, you can become extinct.



Then, Haw stuck his head out and peered anxiously into the maze. He thought about how he'd gotten himself into this cheeseless situation. He had believed that there may not be any Cheese in the maze, or he may not find it. Such fearful beliefs were immobilizing and killing him.

Haw smiled. He knew Hem was wondering, "Who moved my cheese?" But Haw was wondering, "Why didn't I get up and move with the Cheese sooner?"

As he started out into the maze, Haw looked back to where he had come from and felt its comfort. He could feel himself drawn back into familiar territory even though he hadn't found any Cheese there for a long time.

Haw became more anxious and wondered if he really wanted to go out into the maze. He then wrote a saying on the wall ahead of him and stared at it for some time:


What would you do if you weren't afraid?



He thought about it. He knew sometimes fear can be good. When you are afraid, things are going to get worse if you don't do something. It can prompt you into action. But it is not good when you are so afraid that it prevents you from doing anything.

He looked to his right, to the part of the maze where he had never been, and felt the fear.

Then, he took a deep breath, turned right into the maze and jogged slowly into the unknown. As he tried to find his way, Haw worried, at first, that he might have waited too long in Cheese station C. He hadn't had any Cheese for so long that he was now weak. It took him longer and it was more painful and tiring than usual to get through the maze. He decided that if he ever got the chance again, he would adapt to change sooner. It would make things easier.

Haw smiled to himself and thought, "Better late than never."

During the next several days, Haw found a little Cheese here and there, but nothing that lasts very long. He had hoped to find enough Cheese to take some back to Hem and encourage him to come into the maze. But Haw didn't feel confident enough yet. He had to admit, he found it confusing in the maze. Things seemed to have changed since the last time he was out here.

Just when he thought he was getting ahead, he would get lost in the corridors. It seemed his progress was 2 steps ahead and 1 step backwards. It was a challenge, but he had to admit that being backk in the maze, hunting for Cheese wasn't nearly as bad as he feared it might be.

As time went on, he began to wonder if it was realistic for him to expect to find new Cheese. He wondered if he had bitten off more than he could chew. Then he laughed, realizing that he had didn't even have anything to chew on at the moment.

Whenever he started to get discouraged, he reminded himself that what he was doing, as uncomfortable as it was at the moment, was in reality much better than staying in the Cheeseless situation. He was taking control, rather than simply letting things happen to him.

Then he reminded himself, if Sniff and Scurry could move on, so could he!

Later, as Haw looked back on things, he realized that the Cheese at Cheese station C had not just disappeared overnight as he and Hem once thought. The amount of Cheese that had been there towards the end had been getting smaller, and what was left had grown old. It didn't taste as good. Mold may even have begun to grow on the old Cheese, although he hadn't notice it. He had to admit however, that if he had wanted to, he probably could have seen what was coming. But he didn't, instead he and Hem spent their time enjoying the Cheese, assuming that it would last them forever.

Haw now realized that the change probably would not have taken him by surprise if he had been watching what was happening all along and if he had anticipated change. Maybe that's what Sniff and Scurry had been doing. He stopped for a rest and wrote on the wall of the maze:


Smell the cheese often so you know it is getting old.


Sometime later, after not finding Cheese for what seem like a long time, Haw finally came across a huge Cheese station which looked promising. When he went inside however, he was most disappointed to discover that the Cheese station was empty.

"This empty feeling happened to me too often," he thought. He felt like giving up.

Haw was losing his physical strength. He knew he was lost and was afraid he would not survive. He thought about turning around and heading back to Cheese station C. At least if he made it back, and Hem was still there, Haw wouldn't be alone. Then he asked himself the same question, again: "What would I do if I weren't afraid?"

He was afraid more often than he like to admit, even to himself. He wasn't always sure what he was afraid of, but in his weakened condition, he knew that he was simply fearful of going on alone. Haw didn't know it but he was running behind because he was weighed down by fearful beliefs.

Haw wondered if Hem had moved on, or if he was still paralyzed by his fears. Then Haw remembered the times when he felt his best in the maze. It was when he felt his best in the maze that he was moving on along. Haw wrote on the wall, knowing it was as much a reminder to himself as it was a marking for his buddy Hem, hopefully to follow:


Movement in a new direction helps you find new Cheese.



Haw looked down the dark passageway and was aware of his fear. What lay ahead? Was it empty? Or worse, were there dangers lurking? He began to imagine all kinds of frightening things that could happen to him. He was scaring himself to death.

Then he laughed at himself. He realized his fears were making this worse. So he did what he would do if he wasn't afraid. He moved in a new direction.

As he started running down the dark corridors, he begin to smile. Haw didn't realize it yet but he was discovering what nourished his soul. He was letting go of his fears and trusting what lay ahead for him even though he did not know excatly what it was.

To his surprise, Haw started to enjoy himself more and more. "Why do I feel so good?" he wondered. "I don't have any Cheese and I don't even know where I am going."

Before long, Haw finally knew why he felt good. He stopped and write again on the wall:


When you move beyond your fear, you feel free.


Haw realized that he had been held captive by his own fear. Moving in a new direction had freed him. Now he felt the cool breeze that was blowing in this part of the maze and it was refreshing. He took in some deep breaths and felt invigorated by the movement.

Once he had gotten past his fear, it turned out to be more enjoyable than he once believed it could be. Haw hadn't felt this way for a long time. He had almost forgotten how much fun it was.

To make things even better, Haw started to paint a picture in his mind. he saw himself in great realistic detail, sitting in the middle of a pile of all his favourite cheeses from Cheddar to Brie! He saw himself eating the many cheeses he liked and he enjoyed what he saw. Then he imagined how much he would enjoy all their great tastes.

The more clearly he saw the image of new Cheese, the more real it became and the more he could sense that he was going to find it! He wrote:


Imagining myself enjoying new cheese before I even find it, leads me to it.



"Why didn't I do this before?" Haw asked himself.

Then he raced through the maze with greater strength and agility. Before long, he spotted a Cheese station and became excited as he noticed little pieces of new Cheese near the enterance. They were types of cheeses that he had never seen before, but they looked great. He tried them and found that they were delicious. He ate most of the new bits available and put a few in his pocket to have it later and perhaps share with Hem. He began to regain his strength.

He entered the Cheese station with great excitement. But to his dismay, he found it empty. Someone had already been there and had only left the few bits of cheese he found at the enterance.

He realized that if he had moved sooner, he would very likely have found a good deal of new Cheese here. Haw decided to go back and see if Hem was ready to join him. As he retaced his steps, he stopped and wrote on the wall:

The quicker you let go of old Cheese, the sooner you find new Cheese.

After awhile, Haw made his way back to Cheese station C and found Hem. He offfered Hem bits of the new Cheese but was turned down.

Hem appreciated hhis friend's gesture but said, "I don't think I would like new Cheese. It's not what I'm used to. I want my own Cheese back and I'm not going to change until I get what I want."

Haw just shook his head in disappointment and reluctantly went back out on his own. As he returned to the furthest point he had reached in the maze, he missed his friend Hem, but realized he liked what he was discovering. Even before he found what he hoped would be a great supply of new Cheese, if ever, he knew that what made him happy wasn't just having Cheese.

He was happy when he wasn't being run by his fear. He liked what he was doing now.

Know this, Haw didn't feel as weak as he did when he stayed in Cheese station C with no Cheese. Just knowing he was not letting his fear stop him and knowing that he had taken a new direction nourished him and gave strength.

Now he felt that it was just a question of time before he found what he needed. In fact, he sensed he had already found what he was looking for. He smiled as he realized:


It is safer to search in the maze than remain in a cheeseless situation.



Haw realized again, as he had once before, that what you are afraid of is never as bad as you imagine. The fear you let build up in your mind is worse than the situation that actually exists. He'd been so afraid of never finding new Cheese that he didn't even wanted to start looking. But since his journey, he had enough cheese in the corridors to keep him going. Now he looked forward to finding more. Just looking ahead was becoming exciting. His old thinking had been clouded by his worries and fears. He used to think about not having Cheese or not having it last as long as he wanted. He used to think more about what could go wrong than what could go right.

But that had changed in the days since he left Cheese station C. He used to believe that Cheese should never be moved and change wasn't right.

Now he realized it was natural for change to continually occur, whether you except it or not. Change could surprise you only if you didn't expect it and weren't looking for it. When he realized this, he paused to write on the wall:


Old beliefs do not lead you to new Cheese.



Haw hadn't found any Cheese yet, but he as he ran through the maze, he thought about what he had already learnt. Haw now realized that his new beliefs were encouraging new behaviors. He was behaving differently from the days where he kept returning to the Cheeseless station C in hope then Cheese will reappear.


When you change what you believe, you change what you do.



You can believe that a change will harm you and resist it. Or you believe that finding new Cheese will help you embrace the change and overcome your fears. It all depends on what you choose to believe.


When you see that you can find and enjoy new cheese, you change of course!



Haw knew he would be in better shape now if he had embraced the change much sooner and left Cheese station C earlier. He would feel stronger in body and spirit and he could have coped better with the challenge of finding new Cheese. In fact, he probably would have found it by now if he had expected change, rather than wasting time denying that the change had already taken place.

He gathered his will and decided to keep proceeding into the newer parts of the maze. He found little bits of Cheese here and there and began to regain his strength and confidence. As he thought back on where he had come from, Haw was glad he had written on the wall in many places. He trusted it would serve as a marked trail for Hem to follow into the maze if he ever choose to leave Cheese station C.

He just hoped he was heading in the right direction. He thought about the possibility that Hem would read the handwriting on the wall and find his way. Then he wrote on the wall what he had been thinking about for some time:


Noticing small changes early helps you adapt to the bigger changes that are to come.



By now, Haw had let go of the past and was adapting to the future. He continued on through the maze with greater strength and speed. And before long, it happened.

What seemed like he had been in the maze forever, his journey or at leastthis part of his journey, had ended quickly and happily.

Haw found Cheese station N!

When he went inside, he was startled by the huge supply of Cheese he had ever seen. He didn't recognize all that he saw, as some kinds of Cheese were new to him. Then he wondered for a moment whether it was real or just his imagination, until he saw his old friends Sniff and Scurry.

Sniff welcomed Haw with a nod of his head and Scurry waved his paw. Their fat little bellies showed that they had been here for some time.

Haw quickly said his hellos and soon took bites of every one of his favourite cheeses. He pulled off is shoes and jogging suit and folded them neatly nearby in case he needed them again. Then he jumped into the new Cheese. When he had eaten his fill, he lifted a piece of fresh Cheese and made a toast. "Hooray for Change!"

As Haw enjoyed the new Cheese, he reflected on what he had learnt.

He realized that when he had been afraid to change, he had been holding on to the illusion of the old Cheese that was no longer there. So what was it that made him change? Was it the fear of starving to death? Haw thought, "Well, that helped!"

Then he laughed and realized that he had started to change as soon as he learned to laugh at himself and at what he had been doing wrong. He realized the fastest way to change is to laugh at your own folly. Then you can quickly let go and move on.

He knew that he had learned something useful about moving on from his mice buddy, Sniff and Scurry. They kept life simple. They didn't overanalyze or overcomplicate things. When the situation change, and the cheese had been moved, they changed and moved with the Cheese. He would remember that forever.

Then Haw used his wonderful brain to do what little people do better than mice.

He reflected on the mistakes he had made in the past and used them to plan for his future. He knew that you could learn to deal with change: You could be more aware of the need to keep things simpple, be flexible and move quickly. You do not need to overcomplicate matters or confuse yourself with fearful beliefs. You could notice when the little changes began so that you would be better prepared for the big change that might be coming.

He knew he needed to adapt faster, for if you do not adapt in time, you might as well not adapt at all. He had to admit that the biggest inhibitor to change lies within yourself, and that nothing gets better until you change.

Perhaps most important of all, he realized that there is always new Cheese out there whether you recognize it at the time or not. And that you are rewarded with it when you go past your fear and enjoy the adventure.

He knew some fear should be respected, as it can keep you out of real danger. But he realized most of his fears were irrational and had kept him from changing when he needed to change. He didn't like it at the time but he knew that the change had turned out to be a blessing in disguise as it led him to find better Cheese.

Had he even found a better part of himself?

As Haw recalled what he had learned, he thought about his old friend Hem. He wondered if Hem had read any of the sayings he had written on the wall at Cheese station C and throughout the maze.

Haw thought about going back to Cheese station C to see if he could find Hem - assuming that Haw could find his way back there. If he found Hem, he thought he might be able to show him how to get out of his predicament. But Haw realized that he had already tried to get his friend to change. Hem had to find his own way beyond his comforts and past his fears. No one else could do it for him, or talk him into it. He somehow had to see the adventure of changing himself.

Haw knew he had left a trail for Hem and that he could find his way if he could just read the handwriting on the wall.

He went over and wrote a summary of what he had learned on the largest wall of Cheese station N. He drew a large piece of Cheese around all the insights he had become aware of, and smiled as he looked at what he had learned:


Change Happens
They keep moving the Cheese

Anticipate Change
Get ready for the Cheese to be moved

Monitor Change
Smell the Cheese often so u know when it is getting old

Adapt to Change Quickly
The quicker u let go of old Cheese, the sooner u can enjoy new Cheese

Change
Move with the Cheese

Enjoy Change!
Savor the adventure and enjoy the taste of new
Cheese

Be ready to change quickly and enjoy it again
They keep moving the Cheese!



Haw realized how far he had come since he had been with Hem in Cheese station C, but he knew it would be easy for him to slip back if he got too comfortable. Each day, he inspected Cheese station N to see what the condition of his Cheese was. He was going to do whatever he could to avoid being surprised by unexpected change.

While Haw still had a great supply of Cheese, he often went out into the maze and explored new areas to stay in touch with what was happening around him. He knew it was safer to be aware of his real choices than to isolate himself in his comfort zone.

Then, Haw heard what he thought was the sound of movement out in the maze. As the noise grew louder, he realized that someone was coming.

Could it be that Hem was arriving? Was he about to turn the corner?

Haw said a little prayer and hoped as he had done so many times before that maybe, at last, his friend was finally able to......


Move with the Cheese and enjoy it!

posted by mango at 12:36 AM 0 Bitchings
Monday, October 08, 2007
Singha to San Miguel

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Finally the tickets for HongKong are booked! And whats more its a..........8 days trip! And now for the bad news, I'm gonna be screwed when searching for a hotel or place to stay! Even the budget places that costs $50 a night, think of it....$50 x 8 days = $400! Steven suggest bringing tents and sleep in the parks. Great idea! HAHAHA!

It's so damn exciting.....8 days! And by the time I touch down in Changi on Dec 31 it will be new year eve already! I'm convinced the best Christmas of my life so far is awaiting me!

For now, I would appreciate anyone who could lobang me some nice cheap place to stay! Come on....SOS! =p
posted by mango at 10:09 PM 0 Bitchings
Sunday, October 07, 2007
I hate losing

Today is a day to forget. It is not funny going all the way from Boon Lay to Tampines to play a friendly match only to end up playing absolute rubbish and capped it all by scoring an own goal to give the other team a 2-0 win. It was a totally disastrous performance beyond imagination!

I don't mind travelling to anywhere no matter how far it is just to play soccer but I just cannot stand losing, especially losing in such a manner. I'm my biggest critic and I just cannot understand why I played so badly today. I probably look like some headless chicken or duck running around on the field. I just cannot explain why I seem to lack something whenever I play a big friendly match. I seem to lack passion and anger when I play. I'm those who probably need to be very pissed off or fired up to perform very well. And throughout the whole game I can't seem to get fired up until the game ended.

To add salt to the wound, we lost the game against a bunch of unsporting indians more interested in fighting than playing soccer. Towards the end of the game and when the game ended there were so many ugly scenes, punches being thrown, kicks being swung wildly and it was so chaotic. And now that the game is over I can't do anything and that is the worst thing about it, I wish the next game was tomorrow. I'm so damn desperate to make amends and it's gonna be a toturous 6 or 7 days to the next game or training session! AgrhHH!

I'm so disappointed in myself. Once upon a time, clocking 12 or 11 seconds over a 100 metres was peanuts, so was running the 2.4km in 11minutes. But nowadays I seem to have slow down a yard or 2. It's not like I'm 34, I'm only 24 and supposed to peak soon. I vow to seriously cut down on cigarettes and push myself to the limit. People may say I'm probably nuts and crazy to take things so seriously but thats my passion for soccer and my character in its true colors. I hate losing, I must supass the expectations I set for myself. I let people down today but I vow it will never happen again. It must never happen again, I must buck up!

The journey from Tampines to Boon Lay seem like forever, I couldn't even think of anything or get a short nap. It was only until the last few stops to Boon Lay where a Mum and her daughter board the train that my mood lighten up. The daughter was extremely cute and intelligent. I really love observing kids especially how parents communicate and play with them. It's such a warm feeling and that's probably the only thing that is warm today on otherwise a cold and rainy evening.
posted by mango at 7:08 PM 0 Bitchings
Mango = XXX

Last night on msn with Rachel...

Mango: how is amsterdam?
Mango: fun or not?
Rachel: superrrr fun!
Rachel: super suit u!
Rachel: alot of porn stuffs!
Mango:
.............
Mango: wth
Mango: why porn stuffs suit me?
Rachel:
ahhahhaha cause I just think of u when the word comes out



Suddenly, the last sentence made me sit up and think; have people's opinions and impressions of me turned haywire all of a sudden? Flashback to roughly 2 weeks ago when I requested for questions to be posted in my tagboard for me to post and answer in my profile page. Almost or more than half of them were xxx questions. There's even someone asking me a screwball question: "do u pcc everyday or weekly?" Then there were questions like "do you fuck every single of your ex?"

Firstly, congratulations to my new found unwanted tag of "XXX Mango".

And secondly, I want to argue my case.

There's no doubts I'm no pure angel, I won't deny this for sure but I'm no desperate devil either.

You don't assume someone is damn fucking horny and desperate just because he writes and talk about sex and adult stuffs openly. Do you go uo to the writer of playboy magazine and say: "Hey you're fucking desperate and horny!!" How about those local models who answer sex related questions openly in those Maxim or FHM magazines? Do you go up to her and say: "hey you're a horny slut!!"

This is the most problematic of all problems associated with most people. A person who writes or talk about sex means he or she is a horny person. A nerd who's always on his books is deem clean and decent. A case of "I see you, I judge you!"

Granted this makes some sense because a person who talks about sex and sex and more sex is likely to be someone who is.....

1. Open to sex
2. Desperate about sex
3. Have had sex before

.....But it can also mean the person is merely voicing out his/her views on the topic. I find it unacceptable that the stuffs which people love seeing or reading most are also turning out to be the most discriminating ones. If not for a strong interest or demand about sex stuffs, why do you think men's magazine always features sex questions answered by girls?

You love to read such things and yet you like to judge the person based on what he or she writes!

I'm a horny guy, and let me brief you a fact that is everyone else that exists is horny too. In fact I suspect the ones who are least suspect-able to being extremely wild in the bedroom are the ones who are probably the most horny and sex loving ones. There is a reason why people have to be so clammed up and discreet about this side of them is due to the amount of rotten eggs that will land up on their faces if they potray their darker sides openly...just as I found out!

A girl who writes and talk about sex will be deem a horny fuckable slut and a guy who talks about sex is said to be disgusting, gross and desperate.

This is the stupid FIXED logic that exists in most people's minds! Add this to the fact that people love to judge and assume everything like it's within their capcity and knowledge, maybe I should start keeping a fine line between sensitive topics and watch what I say or write more often from now?

No way! There's no way of that happening because if I do that it's as good as pledging guilty to all the accusations thrown at me. At least I have the courage to express whatever frank opinion out in writings and come to think about it, if everyone were to keep a tight lid on such sex and porn issues, the world would be alot more boring. So you should give us credit, and not ridiculous accusations!

There are people who go eeks and start labelling people as desperates or sluts like they themselves have never been horny in their lives before. Like they've never had sex before! Ok if you've never had sex before I really salute you. But sex is someone that everyone loves. You tell me who doesn't love a good satisfying round of sex?

The experts will you that the difference between desperates and undesperate sexually active people is that the desperates are people who go around hunting for sex, and as long they get their dicks to 'throw up' when it gets too excited it means they have fufilled their needs. The other type are the ones who do not fuck for the sake of wanting to fuck, they are the ones who do so as such that both person reach climate (if u don't know what this means, it means orgasm). And these are the ones who can usually control themselves.

Yes! Control is he word. If you can't exercise self-control like the hundreds and thousands of really desperate guys in the clubs who try to grope or rub their dicks on any girls they spot, or that you can't control your mind and fuck every single pussy laid in front of you even if it's that of a 14 or 15 year old minor, then you are a really fucking shameless desperate!

Girls are no different. Speaking of girls who say "wah lao sex is gross leh!" I like slapping them.

So it's not gross when you're on the bed moaning for your partner to "fuck me harder"?

Girls can just be as horny or even more so than the guys. Like I say, they can't show it or they will be labelled as sluts. Girls should realize that the better or more skillful her beau is in bed, the higher the chances of him being sexually experienced. And that means having had alot of sexual experienced before. If you still don't get it, it means he'd fucked alot of times before lah! And the same applies to girls! Bed skills aren't taught but gained through experience. Forget about porn, you can't learn anything.

Speaking of porn, I'm really disappointed when people say I love porn. It's so right to say I'm a horny guy but it's so wrong to say I like porn. I don't find the sight of 2 naked bodies that have no relations with me fucking each other on a screen a very exciting show. Maybe if it's a celebrity it will be different - at least it's a celebrity right?

There's nothing wrong with being horny or sexually active, you argue all you want but at the end of the day you're making yourself look incredibly contradicting and dumb. Unless you mean every single word of it when you say "No I dont like sex, I've never got laid before in my life and never will!"
It's laughable and show how much people really know me when they say...Mango = XXX!
posted by mango at 7:02 AM 0 Bitchings
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Bangkok here I come....again!

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"You must be mad!"
"You're too rich!"
"Wah lao ur another thai kid"

These are probably what people are gonna say upon hearing my latest news - I'm going to Bangkok again! Yes, almost excatlty 2 months from my last trip there. Finally I've confirmed part 1 of my year end holiday plans. I said I left my heart in Bangkok remember? So I've got to go back and claim it back you see. I just can't get enough of the place, the nightlife, the cheap stuffs, the king-like treatment, everything! So I'm back for more next month! And to top it all, this flight is an Air Bus! Nice, my 1st time taking an air bus!

And for now I'm gonna finalise my HongKong trip and once I've booked the tickets on Sunday or Monday, it's gonna be one hell of a time counting down to these 2 trips! Never have I had so much excitement before the year even ended. At this time all the years, it's either exams or schools, and even when x'Mas comes there isn't much to look forward to. But it's gonna be different this year, it's gonna be so different once the tickets for HongKong are booked!

See, who says I need a girlfriend to be happy? =D
posted by mango at 8:17 PM 0 Bitchings
Monday, October 01, 2007
Flying Blues

Today's Monday but I haven't got any Monday blues, instead I've got some flying blues! Flying in form of flights to be exact. I realized that the hardest part of going on overseas holidays isn't about having the cash - at least not to me. It's no use having money when you can't find people to go with or find a suitable flight. In fact there are so many problems before the 1st and most important step of booking the flight tickets is completed!

An amount that seem cheap and reasonable to you may be expensive and ridiculous to others. A date that is fine to you may not suit another person. Your priority and purpose of going to that particular country may not rhymes with another person. To sum it up, it's difficult to strike a balance which means it's difficult to find people to go on trips with. That is just 1 tough step in a stairway of steps.

Then there is the difficulty of finding the 'cheapest' flight available and like I say, $200 may be cheap to some and expensive to others. The timing may not be favourable as well. Finding people to travel on trips is probably the hardest part of it all. And we're not talking about 1 or 2 people, we're talking about a group. People these days hardly go on trips in pairs - unless they are a couple of course. I'm actually kicking myself why am I not attached now.....maybe I should find a travel girlfriend instead! Haha!

I'm actually planning to hit Bangkok again somewhere in November for a jolly good time out there before my x'Mas trip to HongKong in December. Bangkok is optional but Hongkong is the one I'm actually dying to go, in fact I'd gladly spend my x'Mas anywhere but in this country. You can easily figure out why - I'm sick of Christmas in Singapore! It's always the same thing, party, booze, counting down, Suntec, Marina, Orchard, Mos, Zouk, Bla bla bla! Hardly anything new, unless you consider staying at home as one.

And so should everything go well, the tickets to HongKong will be booked by this Sunday. I'm praying it happens and should shit happens, I've already conjured up a nice Plan B. I'm not revealing it for now though. Dear god, please grant me my x'Mas wish early and get me outta here!!
posted by mango at 9:15 PM 0 Bitchings


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